Sad

Why are you makin it harder on me ?
Dont you see the hurt you caused ?
Dont you see how mad I have become ?
Dont you see the anger inside me ?
Dont you see the sad me ?
Does it matter the worse you and me gonna be ?
I am scared I lose you ! as much as I am scared that I keep one I never knew !
I am scared that would be the way you deal with me all way long !
I am scared I lose myself tryin to gain you !
I feel bad , way bad..hurt though
I am not okay and I had the feeling I will never be !


Will you ever give it a damn and care enough ?
Will you listen ? or this is just not enough !
I am hurt ! I bleed ! and no one can make it ease on me!
I cry and no one can see those tears nor try to please!
How do you lose faith in me ? how do you let fears and doubts interfere !
I ever thought our love is big and strong enough , till that moment, it took me apart
I am hurt and it hurts
It still hurts
I love you.
I am scared I lose you.

_________________________________

P.S : I wrote it couple of days back.

STOMP OUT LOUD. in Cairo.

Yes..They will be performing here in Cairo for their first time , in Cairo Opera House , starting from Nov 20 to 23 this year ...Visit their official page.

STOMP are really impressive, I really do not hv to talk about them , check out their videos on you tube yourself , to figure out how brilliant they are.

They do a BRILLIANT music without using any muscial instruments ! they are awesome !

I wish I were able to make it,to the concert , but tickets are really way expensive , they range from 400 LE to 1000 LE ...so the cheapest is like 60 USD ! which I think is way expensive here !!

Even If I can afford it , this is rediculous that you pay that big amount of money to go see smth cultural / musical / whatever is...The government should be doing efforts to bring them over in order to let the popularity see them ! instead of a certain level and certain ppl that always have the chance to see attend such events ! remember last Maria Pages' ! I wrote about that before ! same thing and same tickets prices !!!...

as for STOMP , it is some private organisation who is dealing with this event, so the gov is not really responsible on that ! but maybe regulations or whatever is needed here to make the tickets available for a all levels not ONLY a certain level !

why I will not be able to see STOMP in Cairo ! coz of the tickets prices indeed !

Moreover, they will be performing in Cairo Opera House ..it is a Formal attire then and a Tie !

if you checked out their Videos , you will know for sure what I am talking about ! their shows and their clothes and material used dont suit the Opera house ! you should be in a jeans and T-shirt as one stated in the event page on Facebook not in a Tie !!

But I read there too, that the STOMP who decided to perform in the opera House, they choose it and the organisers had no option ! Also , the STOMP is the reason behind those expensive tickets !

I donno! all I know that, it is really sad that they do it that way ! and they will be here in a couple of days and I wont be able to make it ! I am sad.

What is so wrong about women smoking in Public !!

3eib ! The so traditional arabic word we all got used to ! raised upon ! one of the words we heard moreover than any word else ! it means like " not appropriate " , yet it doesnot give you the space or right to do it.
we use it like prohibition , you CAN NOT do it.

I do not usually surf the net for the topic I am about to write on, Maybe coz I do not usually feel like doing so ! to avoid any biasing or influencing....But this time I did.
I wanted to know , if it is a question asked anywhere esle but here ! is it we only Arabs who still address that question ? and do care about the answer ? and why do we really do ? to categorize the smoking women ? so why do not we do to smoking men ?!!

I started my search looking up smoking girls , and I got in return too many videos for girls smoking "not arabs", and the comments on those videos as if it is smth strange that they do smoke in public ! I got surpised really.

I narrowed my search to " Do girls smoke in public ?" , and I was shocked by a yahoo page, where a non-egy woman was asking same questions,briefly she been to Egypt and was smoking shisha in public , and she wondered if egy women smoke too ? ..she was curious.
what really shocked me the answers she got back...some said that they do , majority do , some said they do not..others said they do behind closed doors ! ..see the page yourself.

But this is assured for me that, the question is there.flying in the air...it is not only having the " made in egypt" tag on it.

For the records, Chanel , was the first woman to be smoking in public and she was badly attacked for that..and it was not quite easy for her to face her community too. she even had one of her famous perfumes addressed for that .."women who dare smoking in public "..see that page too.

So , at least I know now that it had been a cause for some , regardless if you believe in it or not.

I recall, when it was back then prohibited by the community to see girls sitting in cafes and smoking , and those girls who wanted to smoke, they were always heading the restrooms for that..they couldnt be doing it in public, they wouldnot dare tell their parents about it !..that was like 8 yrs back ....but at that time too and maybe with few years earlier, girls started to smoke shisha in public, yet they were criticized by everyone sittin around..and the smoking girl then was like an easy girl in so many eyes.
So, girls / women started the innovation by smoking shisha, and they wouldnot dare smoking cigs in public, their outlet was the restrooms / someone's place where there is noone around...Years went by , and girls started to show up in cafes smoking cigarettes ! was quite odd at first ! but in a while it spread out in non-local universities..schools...girls started to gain trust again , and show community that, it has nothing to do with being an easy one !.
Now, it is a so common thing, that you see most of the girls around the place you are sitting in are smoking ! not ODD anymore ! not telling anything supposedly anymore !
They smoke as you men do ! whats so wrong in that ! it is not an indication of anything !
Before, a guy would have been quite worried to propose to a girl who is smoking " in public " ..he would be okaywith it if she does behind closed doors but not in public...nowadays, its" cool " to get married to a smoker, they will share the packs.
Now , most of the smoking girls, smoke wherever they are..not only in cafes...wherever ..their work place , even if it takes them to stand in the street ,infront of the building they work in , with a bunch of men to have their Cig., they would do it at any ones place too, they would do it in the movie theatres ..clubs..restaurants..schools and yes at HOME.
most of my smoking girl firends smoke at home , coz they are not children anymore , they are all goin on 30's..and afterall its their own decision..and again it is not telling anything if a girl is smoking !..so by time, girls could gain that too, in addition to their image , their right to smoke at home and not behind closed doors.
for sure..it doesnot imply for all , still a percentage can not do it in public ! and still do at the rest rooms !
But..the image has changed, whether you agree on it or Not ! it has been changing rapidly..
The question really , why its not yet changed for some men ? why they still do think its " 3eib " ?! not appropriate !! with the so change they see in society and the swift in the community's traditions.
It is acceptable among quite people, among quite generation,among a certain standard.
so why is it still not among some others ?
I am not doing an invitation here for girls to smoke and men to accept it ?
I am just raising the question ? why with the so open-minded community we live in ?" or at least pretend to be in so many cases ".....why still some refuses it with same level they did in the very beginning ??

I can not ditch the part , where how harmful and even money waste cigarettes are...
I quoted this for you..you can check this for whole article.

Teens who smoked at least one pack of cigarettes a day were 15 times as likely to develop panic disorders during early adulthood when compared with nonsmokers, according to their research.


So , I am not defending the smoking itself ! coz I know, You know how dangerous it is ! but why are you attackin smoking women and you do nt to smoking men !

Women smoke now, out of pressure as men do..out of something they find a relief on ..whatever the reason they do for , it is not a thing they have to defend !! and not a thing you take against them ! not anymore ! maybe before , in old days , when it was so rare to do..but now with that growing number in smoking women ! I think you have no ground to stand on to claim you cause !

Visit this to know how Camel targets women..even in media , moviez and ADs now, are always displaying hunks and babes smoking...so it is like , if you want to be a hunk ? and you to be a babe? you got to be smoking Hun..
Even , around the places you hang around , you will find the pretty , stylish , classy ...you count...women / girls are smoking....and you will find the so many ladies cigarettes in diff colors and flavors..so it is not for the Garbage !!

Yet , I am not defending SMOKING..at all...SMOKING KILLs..It does
if it doesnot kill at once, it causes harm that you suffer for whole living , and in so manytimes one can not afford the injuries it leaves behind..
So , again and again..I am against smoking , and against passive smoking which we all do..
I am with that campaign of preventing smoking..at least in public spaces..we need clean areas,fresh air..

Here , some facts sheet ..it is quite old, and sure numbers grew faster that any can imagine..yet it shows that there had been always a percentage for smoking women..and it was only in 2001..I bet if they do it now, they will get scared by the fact that maybe women are larger in numbers than men?

For who lives in Egypt, s/he will be familliar with the new labels they stick to the cig packs..you can check them here.It is like anti smoking campaign, and I doubt if it reached its target, as all were mocking at the guy's picture there ! and even some claimed that he is in a good health and he got paid a BIG number to do that AD ! Rumors..but anyway , I have not seen any effect of those labels..not even the least .!

Back to the smoking women , and the fact that they are everywhere .. why some are real open minded about it ? some still in the narrow phase ?
if it is harmful ! it is for both ! man and woman..
if it is killing ! it is for both ! man and woman ..
if it is 3eib ! it should be for both ! man and woman ...
if it calms down a man , it does too to a woman...

You know , I might be okay with those who claim they are against it all way long...but I hate those who Pretend that they are cool about it ! and they even share the cigarettes with them ..however they are just not like it !...and they call girls with names coz they do smoke !

Well..It is your right to take it your way ..and it is others' right too to do it their own way.
and we are not to judge any's actions...and whether a girl smokes or not , it doesnot make her anyone good or bad till you speak with her and really get to know her...look beyond and no more old clishe-s....
Whoever .....Stop Smoking for better health.
I heard about some AD ,which I think the idea of it, is really inspiring...it says :
"Quit smoking...Enjoy the Kiss"

He is just not that into You !!

Girl , Have you ever faced yourself with the fact " he is not that into you " ?! Were you ever brave enough to step back coz he is not that into you ?? Can you really tell when he is not that into you !!
I know...too much not into you to strike you, hope it do Friend.
I once heard about that book in Oprah 's show , she was talking about the book , and how good it is , and kept advising every woman in the show to have it..Though at that time I thought how trivial the idea is , and thought to myself how it is always clear enough for a girl to see when he is not that into her ! and no needs for books for that! who reads'em anyway !!

Days went by , and I was at a library buying some books , I had a firend of mine with me there, and all of asudden , she asked the shop guy about that book ! I was like , No way !! why would one need sucha book !! we all know what it is all about ! and no needs for such books ! she kinda got convinced and did not buy the book.

Months later :) I was at the same library , and found the book like calling for my name ! I m sure kidding , but it was infront of me again , with a bestselling tag hanging on it..so out of curiosity , I grabbed the book to JUST see, what the fuss is all about !
I found it more like a manual, tips..so damn things you know and you keep on ignoring...stories you hear everyday. excuses you got used to, un-answered phone calls...lots of things you know , I know..everyone knows..yet we go on ignoring.
what surprised me that day That I baught the book , I was in a need for reading, and just to read a not so deep book , just a light one you know..so for me that was like the catch.
I baught the book , and though I was against buyin it at first , I found out that it is really cool..as it collects all ideas and excuses in few pages to read...

What really amazed me more about the book, that Man is Man..wherever he is ! whatever his color! religion ! Identity ! whether he is Civilized, Cultured or not ! well educated ! lives in the US..Egypt or even in Coalalampour!
whatever his tangue ! whatsoever really !!!
same excuses everywhere !! same techniques !! same tactics to run away !! same attitude !
God, it isnot our egy guys then ! it is smth international :)

The reason I am writing about it today really , that I got biased by one of my friend's stories, and I really wanted to lend her the book ! and I was like repeatin the word each two minutes! he is not that into you ! he is just not ! can't you see it ! he is not !!
Though it's clear enough , and always seen by everyone but the girl into it ! who refuses to see it !

The book stated all means and ways, which tell that the guy is not interested in the girl...he gave all the ABCs..and as I mentioned earlier, usually it is known and seen " and there is no need for the book "..but the book states them as facts , and puts them infront of you..maybe they can awaken some girlz from their deep sleep!

Excuses, excuses...; was at mom's place and couldnot pick up ! , had lots of work! got stuck in traffic !..can't make it sorry!...I will call you back , and he never do!..he doesnot do the slightest effort ! he doesnt do the big things either ! so why are you hanging on him !! that what really shocks me ! are we girlz desperate to that extent that we let ourselves stick to some losers who are not even interested !!

and as the book said, men can go to the Moon, do the hardest and strangest things ever..yet they can never pull themselves out of a relationship in away we expect ! or even respect !..few ones who have the courage to face it and say they are not interested..." though I know how hurtful it is for a girl, when she hears it herself"..the other trend, is givin excuses..and you smarty should get it , he is not into you !
yet, the more he plays around , the more you give him excuses...the more you persuade yourself that he will be back for you coz sure he is interested in you !!
I really wonder , why a girl would hold on someone who doesnot hv interest in her ?! some think that they are able to make him interested later ! actually that kind,kinda make me sick !
I am sorry ! but it is all about that girl feels desired ! he is playing hard to get YOU ! that he do all efforts to please YOU ! You Girly, not the other way around !!

Dear Friend, I know you not of that type,you canot be one,BUT , he is not that into you !
it is harsh ! I know..but you shouldnot be decieving yourself anymore ! stop giving him excuses ! stop answering Your calls !! you call him zillionz of times while he do only once in return !!
he is surrounded by your missed calls and sms's ! and you are checking your phone each two seconds hoping he will call ! and he never do !
you think he will show up ! and he is never there !
you try to be there for him , whenever you can , in all occassions...and he is sick of that ! coz you are too available ! you not even giving him a chance to be missed !
you do all what you can to let him see you , and he does all he can to erase you from his phonebook !
he never gave you any promises ! not that he smiled at you once ! went out with you twice ! had a chit chat with you for a couple of times...that doesnt mean that he is into you !!!!!

Friend, Give yourself a break , get yourself busy with something else ! not SomeOne else !!!Ha!

Once, a close friend of mine told me smth I always recall, if the guy is interested you dont hv to do anything , at all...coz he will be doing all stuff..and all shit too to get you...even if you are givin him hard time...he will still do.
and if he is just not interested , he will step back, and just disappear!..not giving any explanation , and we girlz spend our whole lives lookin for explanations ! and talkin about it !
Guys dont care about explanations as we do !! they just disappear !
and your guy just did so ! so hold on , walk on....you hv a life ahead.
and admit it that you can go on , he is not into you as you not into so many guys ! this is life !!
you into someone who is not into you ! and some one into you whom doesnt even attract you !
accept it.admit it...stop lookin for explanations..stop givin excuses..stop it please
Read the book..it might help
I ever wonder if guyz go into that dilemma as we girlz do !! do they care if we are interested into them as much as we do ! do they sit with their best firends for hours at someone's place talking about it? and soemtimes on the phone with them for hours too !! just to think loudly with a friend if a girl is into him !! Do they !!
or its only Girlz stuff:)
I wish that they do too ! I wish :)

iBangle The new iPod .

Amazing ! ...wait to hear and see yet , it becomes more like a jewelry, yet not as expensive as ! thats what Apple says .
you will not have to place it on your arm , you will do it on your wrist , and the Earphones will be wireless!.Wow, the common head/ear-phones were always a trouble while joggin!! ..really impressive that they thought baout that too !!
you will control your music and all on this grey area "trackpad " on that looking good bracelet . I really canot ask for more !!
it looks so way good ! so much air as they call it " it is full of AIR " ..hope it will not be expensive though.
I wish I have it oneday :)
for more pics visit this.

Rim Banna ..A voice coming from Palestine

I am glad that I got introduced to that great voice ..Am grateful to that friend who gave me the chance to listen to that great lyrics composed and arranged in so beautiful tunes.

Rim Banna , I only got to know about her weeks back , when I knew about her performing for first time here in Cairo.I marked my calendar and wanted to make sure I reserve my seet there!

Though I was really not sure if I ever heard anything for her before ! but when I got to search about her , I really got amazed..you can visit her page too on the facebbok to see.

Days went by , and I missed the concert , and couldnt make it , but I was lucky enough to have some of her MP3z on my PC " given by that friend too " , And I am listening to her now , she is really inspiring ..the lyrics are telling alot, in fact that friend who attended the concert told me that each song has a story beneath ..and a story I should listen to , to know how the song is really telling the truth , I am arranging to know those stories soon , and I will try to share them with you too.

Some will find the songs are biased by wars , Palestine, however I saw them telling more than that....You need to listen to the lyrics with closed eyes and open heart..

there is that quote of hers: " I would give half my life to whoever makes a child smiles to replace his cries..." it echoes all the time with me...I wish if world's leaders listen to her too and try to replace those tears running there in Palestine and everywhere else burnin' in wars fire.

I wanted to share some info about Rim Banna , I got them from her page.

...............

Website:
http://www.rimbanna.com/
Current Location:
Palestine

Influences:
Rim Banna’s songs are inspired by the Palestinian people’s conscience and sentiments, from their culture, their history and their folklore. She brings it forth from the desert rhythm in the south, from the long lived song of the sea that spread all over the Palestinian sea shore, from the inspiration of the charming nature and its colors from the meadows and plains, from the returning echo that roams between mountains and valleys, from the sounds of The Ancient Canaanite Hymns, which accompanied streams of sweet waters in its swing among rocks and over small white stones, from the chirping of the sparrows and the garden nightingales, who never emigrate, such as the blessed olive tree, the resisting cactus on the borders of the orchards, and the holy grape tree that spread all over the hills of the Palestinian land. Rim Banna also presents the modern Palestinian Arabic song, which has been received with enthusiasm from the Arab world and the International community. Her songs are categorized as a post modern and highly appreciated Arabic song that promises a bright future for the Arabic song in The Arab World and at the international level. This relates to the song, its tunes and music, and performance.Rim creating an exciting concert, with a message of hope, dignity and freedom for the Palestinian people.

Rim has 10 albums:

1. “Jafra” 19852. “Your tears, Mother” 19863. “The Dream” 19934. “New Moon” (an album for children) 19955. “Mukaghat” (an album for children) 19966. “Al Quds Everlasting” 20027. “Krybberom” Rim Banna & SKRUK (Norwegian choir) a Christmas album. 20038. “The mirrors of my soul” 2005, produced by the Norwegian producer Erik Hillestad, and distributed internationally, it is a brilliant production, on the halfway between jazz and soft-pop with Arab music. The album dedicated to all the Palestinian and the Arab political detainees in the Israeli prisons9. “This was not my story” 2006, Rim Banna & Henrik Koitz (a Danish composer), the album dedicated to the Palestinian and Lebanese people.10. “Seasons of Violet”-Love songs from Palestine 2007, by the Norwegian producer Erik Hillestad.

Rim Banna representing Palestine in the International Festivals in Europe and Arab countries:Italy, France, Portugal, Spain, Jordan, Russia, Morocco, Norway, Switzerland, Egypt, Denmark, Turkey, Sweden, Romania, Czechoslovakia, Austria, Kazakhstan, Germany, Tunis, India, Finland, Greece and Brussels.

.......................................

I wish I did not miss that concert , I wish she comes back for another and I dont miss it that time...

with all love to Palestine and its People .