Wednesday, September 26, 2012


I am turning 33 !! an annann aaaaaaaaaaah! I never pictured myself writing this! not that I get that far in thirties but feel that bad about thirties!:( oh yea, that is the truth dear! can't deny it ! I know I used to say it's only a matter of numbers,doesn't indicate anything ! it doesn't still ! I even get mixed up with numbers! which is True I don't fake it ! whenever I am asked about my age! I hesitate for  a sec or two,not about revealing the number but making sure what was it ! i feel like it's 30 or 31 at most ! don't see myself there by anymeans ! I once wrote about growing up! earlier in my page and I recall I was back then wondering why ppl would hide their age or just pretend younger , and now for instance I think I get what it was about !!
I don't hate thirties, I just feel there are alot I wanted to accomplish before getting this number, I also have countless blessings I know, which I am thankful for, and couldn't utter anyword but ElhamdulEllah,yet I wanted some stuff, just feel it would only feel good,being at age with my bucket list :)
for instance, having 3 kids :) yea, I wish I have 3 , I wish, and would have loved to have more btw , but I would be realistic and ask for 3 :)
and I would love to love and be loved back,always and for ever and for lifetime wish , that never ages or grow old,and I would ask for it anywhere ,anytime..luv luv luvvv.
I would have wished to have my own business too! yea, isn't it time for !! I need it badly , one of my real dreams ! that I don't wake up that early to go to someone's place ,who gives me  alook ! no! and leave by their timings even if there is nothing I am really doin ! and get paid upon their revenues!
I need to have my own thing! passion in doing it! wake up smiling that I am going to work,me,myself and I ,the mything really !! not hired at any ! wish if I can manage that someday that it can come true !
I wished by age of 33, that I would have traveled around Europe,wish to go to Paris and Italy..wish if I can make a long tour though, wish if I am free willy that I can do whatever and Wherever.
Travelling is always among the biggest wishes I usually have,and even if I can't do it abroad,I would still aim to do it internally,A lot to be seen and visited among here..I wish .
Friends,big and always been an issue, I would have had that big group,that we go out a lot and do alot of activities together.
I wish I stay in shape. I work Hard on it ! it feels good that when you meet ppl and they still see you the same! it even feels good having proposals still :)oh yeah:)
I wish I would do whatever I like Wherever and is the limit.
wana go camping , safari , I wouldn't mind going to Kinea khalesss ..
33 be nice to me, previous ones were pretty harsh dear , ever since I reached out 30 and I am suffering !! I am not enjoying it by any means ! so I BEG you PLEASE,be safe and calm.and bring me love ,joy and Happiness.
Dear 32, Glad that you're finally leaving, I am sorry I never liked you ,neither did you ! so it's time to say Goodbye dear,and bring me a better one this year.I am waiting huh :)
Love me 33 embrace those 33 get me all the love in the 33 and flush away all the tears 33 and send me to Heavens at 33
till then..see you 33 and farewell 32

Monday, September 24, 2012

10 Things I LOVE about you --->>To The Love of my life..

Re-Posting once again ! I just wish I can have half ,or less I used to.
When all you need is feelin loved and love back.
I now figure out that three years had passed away ,with a lot of memories beneath..

I have been thinking lately to write this ,"the 10 things I hate about you " , and I thought it would be nice to start with the 10 things I love about you ! ..they used to teach us in the communication skills courses and courses alike, that you should start with the positive things before the negative ones, and here I am ,applying the rule..and I will start with your 10 best that I like...

The idea of the 10 things I hate about you , came from the movie once, and I think I been to someone's blog who wrote smth alike sometime ago. so credits of Idea go to both.

lastly, I think it is great that you too write down what you too like about me and what you most hate , and maybe we communicate it ,seeking better relation and communication.

Here we go :)

10 Things I love about you


1- I love you when " I wake up on your call in the morning, with your shiny voice , rise and shine ..."my nickname"...,"when you have that goodmorning spirit ! when the vibes are trasferred through air.and just make me smile and feel good about the day..when you get me with Goodmorning :)

2- I love you when we are in a fight and you make it up to me , I love it when you surprise me with a call ,or droppin by , intiating a movement to make it up to me..with your sweet words and tenderness... remember, when we had a fight last new year 's,and following morning I found you waiting for me around my house ! though you could have waited for ages ! you had no clue then if i will be goin out or not that day ! yet you waited for me that day for hours ! and it was really nice then ! I still recall that day ! I love it when you make it up that way.

3- I love you when you look for my hand .tryin to find your place to it..whenever wherever we are :) ,,walking down the street , sittin in whatsoever place...even if we are in the middle of a is so romantic ! i just love it when we hold hands :)

4-I love you when you wash away my tears , I love you when you just cant stand seein me cry and do all it takes to wash those tears away ..I love you :)

5- I love you when you go off your way just to make me feel happy , or just cause you know that I wanted smth someway , you just say yes to whatever I say go off yourway for me, you are ready to do smth you dont like for me...
I still recall that you went to movies with me though it was tamer hosny's ! I still owe you this !

6- I love you when you pass by, to pick me up, me goin down stairs , you see me and I see you :) and you have that smile on your face ! I just love it :) it makes me feeeel happy .
that you are here for me , and you are happy to see me..and I do miss you.

7- I love it more, when I see that smile with those words comin from you " you look wonderful tonight !:)

8- I love it when you sing to meeeeeeeee!! this is really amazing , I love it when you do sing really..whatever you do , it just finds away to my heart :) ..and yes Sotak 7elw:)

9- I love it when you fix me my coffee:) and ask me beakhabasa if I need cinnamon :)

10- I love it when you make me laugh :) you know you most likely make me laugh ;) and I love it when you do try to help me get out of bad mood..but please balash 2effehat 2alsha :)

11- I love presents ! who does not ! and I love your taste in that ! you are brilliant ! and I love it when it comes in non expected occasion ! dont get me wrong dont hv to buy me one NOW:)

12- I love it when you call and sms me before you go to bed..when the last thing you say is goodnight babe..

13- I love sms's, you know I do, I love it when you sms me mid day sayin you love me, or just call me to say so ..I love it when we are on a fight and see those tons of sms's and missed calls too.

14- I love are my home.

Oh I exceeded the 10 already ! and I still have alot to say !

15- I love compliments generally ! who doesnot ! So i love it when you do on my looks, my talks , my achievments at work...etc :) I love it when I see you proud of me , and see that look on your face,that you really like me and in love with me :)

16-I love it when you do your best to let me get over my blues..whether you know the reason or not ! I love it when you are there supportive..and listening , not really questioning but indeed supportive listen to my fears , doubts attentively and you do your best to make it ease on me.

17- I love it when we communicate, whether on a fight or not..I love when I see that we really can handle a talk ..we can understand each, we respect each .

I love it when we have an intellectual talk, one of those that my face goes red and my voice's pitch gets higher we arf3 el 3alam :) ..I love it when we can talk in anything really..anything , and have a good talk.

18-I love you when we are both on the same wavelenght ..I love it when I see telepathy between us.when I call you while you were just dialing in my number..when I think if you and I just see your name on my mobile

(it is happening now :)) you are callin now :) ..You see :) and you just communiacted good news!)

19- I love it when I see you doing stuff to impress me , however they are tiny things or big things.I love it when I see it on your face that you love me.

20- I love you when you drop me off, wait to see me ridin the stairs with that look and smile on your face and that Love you, I still miss you vibe in the air..

21- I love it when you are keen to go to movies or a concert just cause I want to ...and I love it more when we both want to.

22- I love it when we communicate and share everything...and capable of sharing whatever.

23-I love it when you suggest my favorite desserts ..brownies obsession ,sundae with extra chocolate and caramel ,or Power and then we go for Burger :)

It is really sweeeeet.

24-I love you and I love you more when I see that you love me as much as I do whatever you do and say ..

25-I love you when we recall our history , our past , and think of our future :)
when you recall everything we shared , how it happened , with dates and timings ! you get me when you do that ! when you still recall what we both were wearing that day !
I love it when we talk of our future and how we want it to be , of our kids insha2allah..of everything..I really enjoy and love talking to you.

26- love long hair on you :) you know that already !

27- love you when you call me just after we hang up to tell me that you still miss me :) , or call me thousands of times a day for same reason :)

28-I love it when you check on my blog and comment or discuss with me what I wrote..

when you check my facebook and too make comments or send me on the wall :)

I love it too when you drop me a msg or gift there..It really feels good when you the one you love is caring about everything you do and interested in what you too do.and you do that to me :)

29-I love you when you look great and you know that you look awesome and you say it bekhobs 3m.... mozz ?? :))

30- I love it when You recognize my smell , and know the perfume I wear :) and sometimes can tell if i had a shower or not,coz you can tell there is a shampoo's smell not that I stink :))

31- I love it when we argue over whose IQ is higher :) I believe inny me3ddeyak bemara7el :P:)

32-I love you when you do the thinking and not ask me to fish :)

33-I love you when you share the dream, fears and doubts ..when you talk it.

34-I love you coz you are faithful to me and you dont lie to me

35-I love you coz you gave me all the love I needed and still crave .

36-I love you coz you are my soulmate, my best friend, my partner ,my whole family and the whole world.

37-I love you when we go for prayers wherever we are..

38-I love you when you say " allla ballala laaaaaa "....acting mahmoud abdelaziz :)

I love you...and I love my loving to you.. you are too good to be true.

39- I love you when we listen to our favorite song , or watch our favorite movie..
I love you when it is crystal clear we have so much in common.

40-I love you when you drink of my Coke , and you are always done with your food before I am,and try to eat mine...

41-I love you when you do say and mean " everything will be alright "

42-I love you when we go shopping together.

43-I love you when you cruise around my house, with your hand on horn,playin Ba7ebek ba7ebek:) I love you when you do it unexpectedly :)

44-I love you when you surprise me at work and find you there "around my work place", or surprise me by droppin by some place you know i will be at .

45-I love you when we cruise and you always make it " el-laffa eltaweela " , though its already late , n we hv been cruisin for hours now, but you just dont want to leave me :)
same when you ask , ha ,adkhol yemeen walla atl3 elkobry:) feels great that you always miss me and longing to me :)

46-I love you when you come around KFC and always ask " 7arra2 ? "..:) whether we are hungry or not ! in so manytimes we just hd our dinner / lunch , n you still ask it in a funny way...7arra2:)) and you sometimes just go for it ,when me / you is blue .it goes well with the bad mood I guess :) the chili toasted twister effect :) with chicken pop corn :)

47- I love you , when it is time to step out of your car " when you are droppin me off " and it is way late already , but neither me or you wants to leave or get home ! we just want to stay with each! I love it when we miss each while we are still together ! and cant leave to get home !
I love you when I see that " stay some more " on your face , when you want to stay for good:) I want too ! ..when you keep on cruising around my house not letting me to get out :) ..I love youu and I dont want to leave you , even to get home.
I miss you already , so longing to you.

I Love You

I love you and I still think that list can hold more, It sure does..words dont come easily you know!

you know ! it shocks me now ,as it feels there is nothin really left that I hate about you! at least for now:)
you see ! it feels good ..I love you thankful for the countless things you give me!
I am grateful I have you in my life 3mry , I am happy that I do.
Rabenna yekhaleek leyya, Love you babe...more n more n more


N.B: they are not in order, though i might consider re-arranging them later! , I just let 'em out the order they hit me.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Job Vacancy

I need a friend , as I can find no one around that I can talk to , share my life with , do stuff together, get back to when I feel like talking or doing whatsoever ,share my fears with ,my future dreams,plans ,doubts and silly life routine.
lean my back onto when I see it dark,hopless and not worth living.
Someone that able to handle those tough times we go through, Hence; I thought of posting it as a job.

*Here is the Job details:

Objective : a Friend is needed . " I need a friend and I need it badly."

Job Description :

1- male /female, but a male is preferably , as I 've learnt that women always have issues !
2-age: 29+ ,no place for ppl with middle age crisis .
3- Experience: 10 years + of Listening to ppl , recommendation of being a good friend from several friends,and the ability to share and Talk,not only listen !
4-Driving License: That can drive all the way just to see a friend in need.
5- Outgoing, vivid ,that we can go out together , go to events , moviez,go for coffee,go shopping ,whatsoever
6-Open to life , intellectual, open minded , well dressed is a plus.
7-Revolutionist but not activist .
8-Employed already ,as this is a part time job.and no place for losers
9-well educated and with good manners.I am sorry I can't stand it otherwise.
10-Self Confident , with a bearable ego,religious is a plus.
11-Done with the so so relationships,games,etc ;mature enough .
12-willing to travel."even share those naiive dreams of going to places and travelling the world if we can't afford it , just to enjoy the living dream"
13-Fun to be with.
14-Honest , I hate Liars, I just hate them , hate them hate them. no place for liars and cheaters.
15-a believer: still believes in butterflies in the stomach,love at first sight ,the one,perfect match,ever after love,and those out dated feelings,.. serendipity is one of his/her best movies.
16- Mounir fan is a plus , that we can go to his concerts together.
17-in love with sun,sand,and the sea.
Bonus: As terms of friendship, you will be invited in so many occassions to lunch ,dinner and coffee more often. I don't do gifts anymore in birthdays , but I can do that for you ,no problem.
*eligible for promotion :Best Friend if candidate proved his/her best in being a good friend.

Working Hrs: 24*7 with allowance for inconvenient hrs. 2days off aweek .and 30 days off along the year. public holidays are Off .

You may wonder by now, what is the salary , I can assure you it pays off, not in the terms of money I am sorry! but in the terms of friendship. you will find me there for you , I will be doing my best though,I am a good listener, and think I am fun to be with.

P.S: You don't have to send your resume, as the job opening is closed.Yea, I am sorry ,I reached out the point, that it is me who is not open to life anymore, not willing to open up, not anymore.
call it depression , frustration , or whatsoever.
your good friend.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Time Heals ? what time did they mean anyway?!

Time passed by , and for me it still feels like yesterday.
They said , everything will be alright, did they lie about it ?
Everything is moving on , I too can pretend That I do, but the fact is , I am still stuck in that moment in the past.
will it be really healed by time ? did they really mean it ? do they really know !

Monday, January 2, 2012

I lost my father

My father passed away last week.
I experienced the minute of him passing away,He was in my car infact.sitting on the rear seat.
He was laughing and talking normally , we been to the elections place, he went down and voted, and then came back.he spoke normally.and just a couple of minutes later , he was dead.
It is very hard on me, very hard that I am even writing this,
I owe him a lot. I owe him apology on my sillyness, my tough attitude, my rudeness in most of times. I always thought I have reason for that , that the GAP between us was getting big and bigger that I thought there is no hope in becoming close ever again.
I was his favorite,his special daughter, I frankly knew that, but I lived last decade believing I am not. I chose to believe I am doing good to him and that is enough, and I am not obliged to do more.
I used to argue all his talks, all his opinions, I believed we are totally different , that no need to argue.
I was foolish, I was stupid , I miss him badly.I miss you dad.I want you back.
I miss you a lot.
I miss him in everything I do and I don't.
I feel not only I lost my father, but I lost my back and support.
I knew that I always had someone to go back to, and depend on.he was my back.
I would go back to him and ask him on whatsoever, as he always had an answer for every question.and any question.
He wouldn't see me in trouble and stand still ! he was always there , especially with whatsoever related to my car, I recently had a bad situation with my car , and I recall he was calling me every each hour to comfort me and just to tell me , he is there is I need him.and when I need him, he is there ,indeed.I miss him.
I knew I always had a father that I can depend on . He taught us to do everything as well, to be fully independent, I sometimes blamed him on that , I wanted to enjoy some dependency,yet I now know I was dependent on him. sleeping over,and knowing that I don't have to care about tomorrow,coz he is there.not to worry , he is there.
no need to worry the trouble we sometimes dig ourselves in, coz he was there.
and now he is not ! and I feel like Lost!!
I sometimes imagine he will be back, as of returning of along trip , I see him around the house, I feel he is still there at most of times.around his chair , his bed..the places are still the same, we haven't moved it an inch! and it all reminds me of him.
I miss you dad. miss you like I never thought i would miss you this way.
I miss you and I cry everynight hoping and praying that you would be in a better state.
I pray each night since that day that your soul rest in peace, and that you forgive me.
I wish you come just one day , one hour , and I would make it up , I would do all the right things in the world,and undo all the wrong I have done.
I see him everyday, I see him all day long, I still picture him in my car ,when I look in the front mirror, I still see his face.hear his laugh!
I still hear his voice. I still picture him in all life situations, especially on those I used to lean back on him.
I love you dad, love you so much , I am sorry I wasn't saying it a lot. I was not saying it though I feel it deeply. I love you.
I cry a lot , I will never forget you . I will never forgive myself for not being there whenever you asked me to ! I am sorry I was always having excuses for not being there. I hate myself for being so away. I hate now all the reasons that kept me that far .
I wish if you can come back , that I tell you all this , I speak to you in my dreams, I wish you are here now with me.
I am sorry dad, but you know that I love you and I terribly miss you.
sealed with tears.