Subject-less

For those who really got worried about me, For those who asked about me..for those who cared on checking on my blog though they knew there was nothing new then ! For those who tried to be there..

For those who been wonderin why I did disappear !
to my surprise, me , myself dont really know !

I am still holding my fears , sadness , doubts , anger , aches , pain and other thoughts deep down.
I prefered to keep them there ! as long as there is no real use of gettin 'em out !

I tried the other approach ! i hv been talkin about myself for long ! and I was really goin nowhere ! in vain !
SO I chose t suppress them...and pretend that they were never there.

I am not back ! I thought I was by time of my last post..but I wasn't !
I couldnot honestly...
I kept myself busy with work ..and it didn't work .
I tried seein more friends..and nothing helps .
I am not in love with the one I am ...
I am losing track and I can't even complain.
anyways, that was a short note , owed to those who kept on msging me though.Thank you all.
Take care.

I am Back !

I thought of de-activating my page !
I thought of deleting it !
I thought of closing it down !
I thought of gettin rid of it !

I had so many negative thoughts and feelings , I still hold some !

I thought I can let my anger out !
I thought I can cry out loud !
I thought I buried it in !
I thought I am dealin with it !

I thought ! I tried !
and..
I failed...
So,here I am .

Nothing got any better !
Am stuck ...
and can't really go anywhere !

I am back and not really back..
I still hold the anger ! I still hold the gun !
I just wish if I just can...

ShoooooooT

Shopaholic me !

I am a shopaholic Freak! I have to admit it.

I once wrote about the chocoholic me , and now it's time to reveal the shopaholic in me!

I know ,I can live with it ,but I just need a sponsor :D ! to pay my debts and take care of the bills!

I love it when I go shopping , I feel good about myself, I feel Happy, I forget about my troubles, my pain,my sorrow..I just let go for everything annoying including money ;) and welcome a plenty of bags in hands :)

you know about that saying, when you feel down, go for shoe-shopping, coz definitely you will find there somthing fit you and you will feel happy about it..I do so !

The shopping mall now is one of my favorite places , if I have nothing to do I go to the mall ! if I am blue I go to the mall ! if I have money I sure head to the mall..

and even when I don't I just hit the road ! I can spend there a whole day ! I mean it, goes up to 13 hrs and more..I can go on a daily basis.I love malls,I love shopping!

It feels bad to go shopping without a real budget for that..coz I always find stuff I like and I would regret not buying them if I don't ! .... the image of it doesn't really leave me, that I have dreams of it :night and day ones :) "

I always feel sorry if I don't buy what I like at once " I ever felt sorry for stuff I hesitated to buy , and took my whirl to find out it's already sold out".hence, I always buy what I spot my eye on and feel like...I don't think twice , I just offer my credit card and have the bag in my hand !

"I too sometimes feel bad about that ,coz a shop two steps ahead could be holding something better waiting for me there of same category I was shopping with sometimes better price! ,hence I regret buying stuff at first sight"..I can never tell which is better, to have a look over all shops(which is hectic enough,giving the chance that you might find your thing sold out by end of your tour), or just shop at once! at first sight !

I too sometimes feel sorry for stuff I buy and never use" long list here "..or stuff I buy and find out they don't really suit or fit !.(yes,I buy stuff up to 2 sizes larger or smaller sometimes! coz I liked the model and didn't find my size..I buy the avialable,persuading myself that I will fix it...if it is in smaller size, I will lose weight for that, for the opposite,I will fix it someway!.insane! I know!

There is stuff I just exclude from my closet coz I have seen the local copy-cat form ! (which I hate..dislike...) with low material and cheap prices !

I can't love mine then"the trendy brand with high price" , though I know I spent a great deal on that ! yet I just cut it out!

I think I hold "302det el khawaga "...that I feel good when I am wearing in brands, although , I have lots of stuff in local ! and I do wear them ! and don't deny the fact they are local ! I donno!but I just love brands!

I go for shopping everyonce in a while , I lose all my savings" if I ever do " on that,

my shopping mainly goes for clothes,bags,shoes,accessories,lingerie...etc

But when it comes to Bags and shoes "inc. flipflops" I am a maniac !

I live with my parents, hence, I don't really need to buy stuff for the house, yet when I go to carrefour,or any hyper market, I too can't resist buying stuff for home !..I get shocked by end of da shopping day for stuff I had to pay for and not really gonna use " non clothes".and even mom complains about that too ! coz I bring over stuff she really doesn't need ! I donno ! But I like getting stuff for home too...I love doing the grocery shopping, buying all those kinds of cheese! yummii..I love cheeese..bread,croissants ..in addition to fresh vegetables..it feels good buying those too!

I buy whatever! whether I am gonna use it or not , whether I really need it or not ! I just do ! coz I like to!

I sometimes go for jeans shopping , and I am determined that I will not buy anything but jeans! and I return home with many bags with NO jeans ! coz I simply couldnot find the jeans I am looking for and couldn't resist something I liked at some shop! or I just lost track and didn't look for the jeans in my shopping!

I am not always okay with it ! to be honest ! I sometimes feel bad of the attitude :( !

yea I do, even when I just had a great shopping, yet the feeling of buying stuff just to please yourself not that you really wanted them while there are others "on earth..in your town, your country..other place in bad need for food,etc.."makes me feel sad.and the sense of guilt then kills me.. I can give myself hardtime on that, and I feel sad for over spending money and sometimes exceeding the budget by far just for the sake of shopping !

I wokred on that , I really tried to..I stop myself from going to malls,or I go and dont really wander the place and check out all shops that i like ! or I pre-agree with myself that I will be only spending X , and by no means I shall exceed that amount X.."I always fail in that"

or I just leave my credit card at home ,and I don't go with cash ( but even with that,i could get away with it.. I asked the girl at the shop to reserve it for me till I get home and bring the money back...loser me)

I know I may sound helpless, a loser or even a real shopaholic!

I tried, I am tryin ,will still try..to work on it.

I admit it , I know I have a problem, and I really dont wanna live with it!

Coz not only I don't like it, I like it as I starrted my talk with ! , but to a certain limit..

being moderate is a cause

a shopaholic is NOT what I really want to !

I still miss you Mom

I still miss you ,
I even miss you more..
I wish you were here now ,,
I feel lonely,,so lonely,,
no one is here,
no one is listening , nor is reading !
I need you now.
Please come back soon...Please.
I love you ,, I do feel the word whenever you are not around me ! I always love you , but in a time like this..when there is nobody but you to listen to me , and pamper me..I know then that I miss you loads and love you more.
Hope all is well where you are, and that you get back home soon..
sooner please.
love you ma
sealed with a tear
kiss

...........................................

She is blocked !
beware I just could !
You could be my next !
No One ! I will be missing !
I'm only giving you a Hint !
though it was never meant!
That was my first attempt!
Could you stand my bet ?
a hell to come yet!

........................................................

.........................................................

I wonder ! why you come and go
and Never really say Hello !

.........................................................

Mazzika Tag...

I was tagged by Brownie , to do that musical tag..and I have to admit it,
Doing it was real fun ..and the answers are just Hillarious and Unexpected:)

____________________________

RULES:

1. Put your iTunes/music player on Shuffle,
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer,
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!!
After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do it themselves.
_______________________________________

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Everybody’s changing by Keane
(ouf! seems this game has got some meaning behind it ! coz this answer rings so many bells in my head)

2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Brothers in arms..Dire straits
(hmmm! I am all ears now ! )

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
You fill up my senses ,John Denver
(Oh My GOD ! this is hillarious !!:) Oh yea, I would like him to fill up my senses :)) this one is of my favorites really! I started to love the TAG thing.....)


4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Greetings By Hamza ElDin !
(I donno who the guy is ? And didn't know the song,I think I never heard about them both before ! I even had to wait till I hear some singing to start as it is 7:44 minutes ! and when he started to sing; it was still unknown for me ! I donno even how it is installed there ! weird!I too couldnot tell from the lyrics if the Greetings is smth I am /like or not! he sounds sudanese or smth! )


5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Nassam 3alayna elhawa...Fayrouz:)
(I just love the song)



6. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
hehehehe, I couldnot stop laughing at this one :D:D
the song was: Ghareeba by Mohamed Mounir ....
Hillarious:) coz yea, this is true :) me strange..ghareebat alatwar )


7. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
ya waa3dy 3l ayam by Mounib
(hehe:) I can't stop laughing really :)


8. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Hossam Habib..e7tart ma3ak
(hehehe, yeah ..I really e7tart ma3ah "he got me confused :) ", and that what keeps my brains busy:)


9. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Dale Don Dale ...Don Omar
(I didn't know that I still have this one On ! I have to remove it then, coz I dont like it anymore ! hmm,i just figured out the relation between the song and my best friend ! God ! )


10. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Here with me...Dido
(yesssssss:))
Here with me..though the song is about leaving really, but the title works ha!
Here with me
specially the song goes like :
I am what I am
I do what I want
I can't hide
I won't go
I wont sleep
I cant breathe,
until you're resting here with me


11. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
In my arms.. Mylo-Mylo.. " radio mix" >>>trance
(I am glad I ran away with that , before everybody knows about my life story :) )


12. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
sa7 ya bada7 ...Mounir again
(hehehe:) oh yea, sa7 ya bada7 fe3lan :)...there is a part of the song when he says: ah ya nahr maballesh 7atta el ryee2 , ah ya bara7 3ammal beydyee2 ;))

13. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Esma we nassib ...Mounib
(hehehehe:)) to that extent ! :))) ya 7aram,se3bo 3allaya :))) hehehehe..LOL ,Oh my goddd :)))

14. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
3eneiky ta7t el 2amar..Mounir again and again !!
(though the mp3 player has like 300 diff songs to buncha of other singers,yet, it keeps on getting ones for Mounir! :) ,but I will not dance on that one though! )


15. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
7abaytak wel shawq...fayrouz
(yepppiii..though they will do Quraan then, no songs on that day please! yet I love the meaning..that I will be loved and missed :)))


16. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
2al sa3ban 3alaih...sherine
(2al ;) 2oulooulo 2al el zou2 7assas :)))


17. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Om el rahat...Mounib
(nothing to tell here :) )

18. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Enta el-7ob ...Um Kolthoum
(Speechless..yes:) ..what are friends for again :(


19. WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
Rabbak howa el3alem..Mounib
(Rabbak howa el3alem fe3lan :) )


20. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOURSELF?
I'd die for you (acoustic)..BonJovi
(Oh yea..True...I would die for you..Just a great ending for that quiz, I wished it didn;t, I enjoyed it really :)

________________________________________

Thank you Brownie for tagging me in this, it was real fun doing it :) and the answeres I got really made me laugh :)
and here is my turn to tag : I.inside , 3mry and seher.
And whoever read it and think of doing it, It's fun !
Just post a link back to your post in my comments that I can check it out and share the fun.

Enjoy :)

What if game ?

What if you give someone *close a present " cadeau" , for some special occasion or whatsoever really..and you get an answer like :

1- Aw ! what's that ?
2- Couldn't you just manage to get me something better ?!
3- I am sorry I don't like !

4- ............."feel free to fill it out with what most could annoy you"

What if your present was something to wear ....and the answer was:

-Sorry , it doesn't fit me!

Too many situations and scenarios I can think of ! and the wrong answers can't stop hitting me !

Is it okay to really say it out ? a wrong answer ? maybe in the clothes scenario,as what's the use of it afterall if it doesn't fit ? although I still think I can fake it, if it is only a matter of color or a trend I don't like!

and I really think giving something to wear as a present is a heavy choice !! risky ! and you can never tell what you will get as a response ! however, life doesn't give us much of choices here, and we sometimes go for it...and in so manytimes we choose to though !

SO, what if I get the wrong answer as a reply ! How should I act then ?..shall I take my present back?!..and deal as if I never knew that person ? shall I punish him/her for saying his /her opinion out ? shall I offer them to change it ?? Shall I ...... ??

What if it's me ,saying a wrong answer ! what I am expecting then ? really ?? a Hug back !

Other than the wear thing , what is the Ideal answer you are most likely waiting for ?
1- Oh! amazing ! ..I love you!
2- wow ! you read my mind ! That what I was planning to buy a week ago !
3- Perfect choice ! I really love it, Thank you.
4- just a Thank you.
5-just a smile .
6- Non stop Compliments
7-.....Feel free to fill it out too with most thing you would like to hear then....

I know a couple of people who really can't fake it ! and they let it out ! whatever really !
I think it is rude ! I do ! Though me, myself find it hard to fake those feelings ! yet I think of being polite and doing the least thing in return with smiling and saying Thank you!

And afterall ,You Can't wait till you get a gift back from that same person you just did to, and it is either a "revenge time " or a rewarding one :)

* P.S : Close here ,close friend, was chosen on purpose, to make it harder on you ! as it isn't easy to lose a close friend if he just says a wrong answer! though a wrong one still aches !specially when it comes from a close one !!

meanwhile he/she supposedly should not lie about it and say it !! coz between really close ones , you can say everything STILL it hurts if you get a wrong answer ! so what if ?

yet,I would like to map it on non-close ones too ! will it make it any easier then ??

I am not in love with myself today !

I am not in love with myself today !
I am bored ! I feel the cold !
I am strained ! helpless and SANE !


Play the game ! pretend you 're there !
I will do the rest ...Expect the worst !

Sorrow ! pain !
Hope ???
....in VAIN !

This is my song...

This is what I am singing now , This is one song I always sing.

It is named : 'Asfour ,it has been sung also by Aida Elayoubi which is a great cover too.

you will find them both here.

Share the mood.

1- Ayda El-ayoubey

______________________________

2- Omayma Elkhalil and Marcel Khalifa 's

Ode to my mother

I am not writing this as a contribution to mother's day which is on March, 21st ! ,no ! , I am doing it coz I feel I owe it, yes I owe mom this one, and I do wish if I can do more than a post !

Ironically,I wasn't on good terms with Mom neither dad when I was young ! especially in my teenage ! actually It was horrible for me. That I always wished that I can escape home or if I just grow old and move out !...that was my wish back then! and it lasted for quite long !

I can't deny how understanding they were trying though, how many privileges I also had ! but I was always concentrating on what I lack !

I still recall the arguments we had over the curfew! and how I had it starting at 9ish then to 10 , reaching the 10.30 "and it was like 2engaz that half then " ,and when it was upgraded to 11 , and how finally I have no curfew ! I have seen it all and I still recall !
I still recall the fights over the curfew and me being home late always! with 5 minutes to 15! and how I can be grounded for those few minutes I was late for ! I too recall that I sometimes had to play with the clock which is located behind the door step :)) I always make it less in 15-20 minutes which I am always late with :)

I recall those things and laugh now, but back then ,it was a nightmare! I still recall my fights over traveling alone with friends, I even still do the first time I went out to movies with friends.
I can't deny that I was getting in away or another what I was really looking for ,but it was always accompanied with a fight or pretty zannnnn :)

I always felt there is a huge Gap between us, I know each teen feels so,but I was kinda feeling it doubled ! and I was always looking for more ! especially I was doing well at school, I get high marks ,and I do not misuse their trust ! I was always a model in that ! so I always thought it is my right to do whatever as long as it is not wrong and I am trustful ! and I never got the worry-ness argument back then, especially I was doing all rides by cabs " so when I think of it now, I think they had a right to worry about me" yet they shouldn’t ban me.

anyways,that's not what I wanted to talk about in first place! I am going off topic now :) I may talk about that stage of my life later on, but I needed in fact to mention it a bit coz I need " not to apologize" coz I was never rude though , I was always a kind daughter too ! " I have all the space to talk about myself then and none will disagree :)

anywayz , when I recall that now and put it inline to what I feel and see now ! I really laugh!
coz I have changed not 180 though, but I grew up , and my feelings towards two specific persons ,Mom and Dad ,had been completely changed !
it went from the desperate me looking to leave home , to a creature living with her parents and misses her mom like hell when she is not home!

Mom is on travel now , and yes I miss her like hell ! I miss the warm mommy hug , miss her good morning kiss, and miss her checking on me every once in awhile, fixing my tea and coffee..
cooking my favorite meal " melokheyya " especially for me ! and she do a great pasta too with meat balls...she is a great cook !...I love whatever she comes with !
she still do all home stuff including mine ,she fixes my stuff ,and washes my laundry. am a spoiled kid! I have been always though !

but before I was taking it for granted ,and never stopped to feel it the way I do now but now things have really changed !
As much as I once wanted to leave home as much as I want to live with mom a whole life ! " you may have noticed that I amn't talking about Dad that much! I know, firstly this post is dedicated to mom..secondly , I love mom much more than dad ! I think he knows it ! I try sometimes to fix it ! but I can't help it! I love mom to an extent I can't figure it out!

I miss her texting me when I am out to ask me to buy her smth "though years back I used to complain about that " , now if she doesn’t do so , I either call her to make sure she doesn't need anything or I just surprise her with something she likes, chocolate for instance.

I miss her hug and her jokes then :) ...when I am blue, she senses it though I try my best to hide it, yet she knows it and then she does her best to comfort me ,and get me out of my mood ! without over asking on the reason behind it !..and keeps smsing me with jokes or mother request to cheer up :).. she is Kind " the word is not even close to her kindness"..she is warm..she is a real mother "don't think I am a lonely child! no, we are ??..?? more than two :) "..yet she is giving us all same care ,love and tenderness "though people who know us always joke about her being over giving to me and Bro than other siblings,and I say no! she is not giving in equal , but she surely does give great amounts to each,that each one of us is in deep love with her".

I love you mom, I love you in a way I never thought I can do ! I love being the center of your life , I love the feeling that your whole life revolves around mine !
I love being spoiled by you....love the endless love and care that you do !
I was always thinking of un-conditional love ! and the love you do goes beyond!
I was always complaining about taking things for granted ! and I am sorry I once did so!
I miss you mom , hope you come back soon,that I close my eyes to open on your voice saying good morning and your hand playing with my hair.

I miss you mom when it is night, and you come check on me in bed ,and make sure I am well covered and tied up in bed ,and then kiss me goodnight and turn off the TV and lights.
I miss watching TV with you ! and keep asking you about those actors, show presenters ..whatever ...the thing is I never stop asking we khalas! and keep distracting you from your Noor !! the one series I amn't following and will never do.

I know you are praying for me even when you are away ! you always do...and I love taking the major part of your prayers too,as you always say..I love the feeling that you know there is someone in love with you no matter what you do, and even if you are on bad terms with him he will still love you and pray for you...This is more than love, I miss you mum !

Mom is always giving me the feeling of everything will be alright ,only leave it in god's hands..she has faith , and I love the spiritual she.

I love you mama , I think I have been using the three words recently , I say it out, but you have no idea how much I do mean it !
I love you ,and I wish you come back home safe.

Ommy , I am sorry if I ever did anything wrong to you.I am sorry if I ever upset you ! I am sorry if I sometimes disagree with you ! I am sorry if I can't show you how much I love and need you ! I am sorry if I wasn’t as good as I should be to you !

But, I do love you my great mother , I miss you ,miss everything about you.
I appreciate your existence now more than I ever did before , and I appreciate everything you do to me ! I am grateful and thankful for having you in my life, and as long as I live I will too keep praying for you , my lovely mama.
May Allah saves you and protect you , and keeps you safe and healthy.
Amin


And just before I go, there are a couple of songs I want to share with you.
First one by : Marcel Khalifa, and it is about mother,he talks about her love to his mother and how he misses her..I still recall when I been to Marcel's concert when he was then here in Egypt and how that song touched me back then.


Second song is : Mama said by metallica ..used to be a favorite song to me too.

With all love to mummy...warm hugs and kisses are sealed and sent to you mamma :X
________________________________________________



___________________________________________________

What are friends for ?

I believe in : a friend in need is a friend indeed !
What if I don't find my friends when I am badly in need for them to be around ??
I address the same question to myself , am I there for them when they need me ??

I been through hard times recently , and only few names I can mention who been there , and they were like doing the show face !
And the rest ! No show at all !

I give excuses all the time, I don't enjoy giving excuses to close ones, especially when it is like I am damn sure they have no excuse ! But I still do and try to play the understanding.
However, this time ....I am sorry.... I am not....I gave up that boring UNDERSTANDING game!

I ran out of all excuses , I can't find you any ! I am sorry ! I can't feel good about it , and can't even blame it on you, inspite the fact that I sometimes blame it on myself ! Yes, being that easy going with them, understanding, flexible and in so many times I just go off my way to meet up with them !

How many times did I call and got rejected in return ? "I know that I do too , but it is most likely as an answer to your previous rejection"
How many times I asked to go out and talk to catch up and so ? and how many times you said you are busy and already have plans !
How many times, you ditched me simply for other ones ?


I can't count the times I found them around me when I really needed them ! They are too few to be memorized !
On the other hand ,I still recall what I simly do !

I am no angel and they are no devil !
They are my friends and I truly love them, I love them even if I receive nothing in return as in unconditional love !
I hang out with them, we get along , I travel still with some of them, we have fun, we laugh , and sure we share lots of things,we have memories, history...But with no present.

I did the blame thing, over and over, that I am sick of doing it again ! With no joy..
I will not blame anyone, not anymore.. I will just take decisions and will not show up again !
I wish I can ! But I know I just can't !

I love them still, but I am sad....I will not blame I will not complain !
It aches that we get apart ! it aches when we are drifting away !
it reminds me of the No Doubt song ! Don't speak !


You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together
always I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believeThis could be
the end It looks
as though you're letting go
And if it's real Well I don't want to know


You know the strangest thing Ever , that those ones you least expect to be there for you, those are the ones who are really there !!
I had that friend who been calling to check on me on a daily basis while we actually were not in touch in years !

I look at myself and think , I paid my dues ! Yea, I think I did ! And you just can't be giving all the time, I too need to take ! As much as I am afraid that I lose them !
I know we become different !
yes, Big differences we have ! yet we still get along !


Why it ended up that way ? Though we were really close and so ?
I have plenty of reasons in mind I am tired of saying them out , maybe I would do someday in addition to the differences we have ! , but today I will just keep my mouth shut and not even complain nor to blame!
But I know that I miss my friends and really wish if I have them There!


Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands I sit and cry !

P.S : I was trigerred by my best friend's call , who just did to ask me to join her going to some concert in coming few days ! though she wasn't there recently ! by no means !
and she knew about the thing that went through ! yet she was not there ! not even by phone !
Though I been around her recently ,not doing any talk in fact as she was doing all the talk and she was enjoying keeping me listening ! and she forgot to ask during her Loooooong talks of any thing related to me ! she wasn't even interested ! she enjoyed Talking and Talking ! she didn't even check on me in any of those 4 times we saw each in a row!! however, I didn't complain about listening ! I am a good listener by nature....but please, no more talks!
Don't speak !

What is the fuss about Valentine's Day ?

I lived my whole life thinking of the Great thing I was missing ! And the Valentine I am waiting !

It feels sad being single , and it feels worse being single on a valentine's day !

On That Day ,everything around you makes you feel like you are missing a big thing ! A Day that leaves on any single sorrow and sadness ! Makes you feel like you need to hide that day ! Or if you just can skip it on your calendar and pretend that it was never there ! if it only goes from 13th to 15th at once without passing through that day !

Seeing all shops decorated with big hearts , red flowers ! roses all around you ! Everything wrapped in red ! couples are celebrating. Oh ! Love is all around you !
It is like the whole universe is conspiring to depress you ! to Make you feel more lonely and desperate!

That was scene number one when I was Single ! This is how I used to feel back then ! As if it was only me then left on earth ! me Single ! and everybody out there is celebrating their love !It used to feel bad ! regardless of the fake image truly know !
Loneliness kills !
I used to have dreams of how would be my valentine ! And what if I am not single !

Years went by , and here I am , I totally changed my mind about it ,about the so called Valentine’s Day
Though I am not married yet ! Am not that old ! I have only celebrated the Valentine's only once ! yes once !

Yet I think I don’t like the Valentine’s Day ! With all the fuss about it !
It is a so commercial Idea ! They were brilliant in marketing the idea and selling it !
And we easily buy it ! and please forget about the Saint valentine who already made it up ! coz I am sure if he knows how they got to sell the idea now , he would take it back !

The thing is we just do not go for chocolates and flowers ! No ! It has to be some thing BIG ! Though chocolates and flowers already do cost !
and Flowers and chocolates are really nice , and not only on Feb 14th !

What is the relation between Feb. 14th and love ?

I think again this is a commercial Idea !
If I don’t love you as enough I will not love you on 14th specifically !
And if I love you as you think I should do ! I think you don’t need the valentine's to prove so !

We don’t need a pre-defined day to express our love ! Do we !
As we can do it everyday ! We can do it in our anniversary for instance !
I admit it , the valentine's could be still a cool reminder to say " I love you " if we get busy in our lives and just forget to say the words ! But it should not be by any means a way of a hell of expenses ! No !

I was shocked by the 180 degrees change of my point of view ! Though I have been waiting for it to come real my whole life ! and only When I had it, I just then started to think of it right !

The way everybody talks about Valentine’s Day just makes me sick !
It is everywhere ! In media ! In girls talks ! In shops windows ! Everywhere !
One thing I always hated and I still do ! and maybe more !
I don’t like the teddy bears and the teenagers holding the BIG boxes that day !
I don’t like that everyone is dressed in red !
I don’t like the idea that all places are crowded and fully booked !
I don’t like the idea that you have to pay tipple what you would pay for same thing any other day !

I don’t like the idea that you have to do reservation a month ahead !
I don’t like the aroma of fake LOVE !
I don’t like the ambiance that day !

You know , I have been asked same question for days now ! " What you gonna do in the valentine's ? "
And seems that my answer was quite shocking for whoever asking !
As I am doing nothing !
It was like I am that Old to not celebrate it !!! I am old fashioned ! I am Odd !
I know I don’t want to celebrate it ! I am done with the so commercial idea !
I don’t know if I will miss it if I don’t ! I will see !
I don’t know if I will feel jealous if other couples of whom I know will celebrate it !
I don’t know if it will feel like the New Years Eve ! When I knew that I don’t want to celebrate it but when it passed I kind of wished we would have done something special that night !
I don’t know ! I know I am convinced ! but !

I know the valentine's crap is just crap ! I just don’t know why is the fuss ?

anywayz, if you are single ! don't think of it the way I used to ! You are not alone !

you are not missing a lot ! there is nothing special about that day !

Don't over estimate it ! it is just a normal day !

And if you just not ! Don't over do it please ! Love is not measured by that ! love is measured by actions and sayings along the year and life time ?! not only Feb 14th !

and you can tell whoever you love the three words " I love You " , you don't have to wait till valentine's ! Do it ! Now !

Let me hear from you ..valentine's day is approaching , which one are you ?

I am OFF today .

I decided to take the day off ! I need it badly !
I am thinking of so many plans ...I want to swim , work out , sit in the sun , read a book " That I been reading for months now and I need to get done with it " , meet up with some friend ..and before all Have my coffee.
I can come up with more !
Me go now..

I owe you an apology !

I can't go to sleep !
I need to say the words " I am sorry " ,words don't come easily, like sorry !
I owe you an apology ,for something stupid I did today !
I did ! And did not enjoy !
I am sorry again.
I know ! I should have not !
I am sorry .
I am thankful for your understanding , it really meant a lot .
It did have an impact on me , and for that I am thankful.
Thank you for something I am sorry about.
Am Sorry
_____________________________

P.S : This one has nothing to do with following post .

Cheese madness..This is how it ended up with !

It started out as normal ! as any other working day !

Supposedly on diet!

And....It ended up with a double portion of cheese madness! With Extra caramel !

Too much Caramel will kill you !

Can't think of anything now ! I need to sleep !

I will just dig in bed trying to get away with it.

I am sorry. I really am

I always feel so after having a dessert I thought No !

I have a hell of sense of guilt now ! I did not enjoy a bit !

Though it is well made ! And I assume it is tasty !

But the portion of ice-cream,cheese,caramel and biscuits I had is way scary !

I need some pickles !

Aw

I will just sleep :(

I am a Loser .

Rare song for Mounir & Mounib

As I am a big fan of both ,

Mounir and Mounib ..

I am dedicating this one to all fans.

Enjoy

I am an Exclamation Point !

You Are An Exclamation Point

You Are An Exclamation Point

You are a bundle of... well, something.

You're often a bundle of joy, passion, or drama.

You're loud, brash, and outgoing. If you think it, you say it.

Definitely not the quiet type, you really don't keep a lot to yourself.

You're lively and inspiring.

People love to be around your energy.(But they do secretly worry that you'll spill their secrets without even realizing it.)

You excel in: Public speaking

You get along best with: the Dash

_______________________________

This is me ! an Exclamation mark !

Guess I am ! I totally agree with being loud, outgoing, I think it I say it ! am live ! and sure I inspire people :D ,am a bundle of Drama yes JOy yes !

I wonder who is a Dash then ?

Thanks to Seher for introducing me the blog thing , I guess I will go visit it regularly , as I am fond of those few Questions of Quiz thing , that by answering them you get to know stuff about yourself !

sometimes it is misleading , othertimes you find it just true.

What Punctuation Mark Are You?

lets see, go there and let me know !

Back to Basics!

Back to Basics is what I moan
All I want is to be left alone
I suffer I endure
I fall ! I soar !
I cry ! I try to reach my core !
I need to have it back as pure !
I will try ! more and more !

And just then

I will be content I am sure
This is how I find my joy
Howelse One can enjoy !

Back to basics ! is where I am from !
The only place I know ! where I really belong !

...........................................

I give in ! I can not breathe !
I need to find my inner peace !
No One can make it eased !
And I don't want you to see my tears!
I am hurt! No! I am cured!
I Live in pain! I am going insane!
Why One can not just forget !
and put aside all regrets !

Somebody please explain!!

I was just checking my facebook when I was hit by so many albums added by someone I DO KNOW "well”! Or at least I think that I do!!The Photo albums are all about girls and boys of 20 ' a year or two plus or minus’! All with hard drinks!“I know that their parents / families are not that COOL! And they will never be COOL about it “

This is my not first time to check out someone's profile to get shocked by pix I don't really like! No, but maybe those others' I got used to are for guys of late twenties , early thirties, so maybe I can say they are grown-ups ! Not an excuse though! I don't know!

Am not to discuss whether they drink or not! Am talking about publishing their photos that easily! To EVERYONE! Even if it is for a closed circle of friends of 300 maslan!?
Pictures of guys and gals all drunk! In poses I have no clue how they dare to! Both boys and girls! I really wonder!
Everybody is free to do whatsoever! Okay! But why to take pix of it! Especially you know well, this is not your background! Not your culture? And this is not like the majority sees as well! And if it ever been told to your parents it will be a real hell! So why to take the pix? And why to publish them?

And what really shocks me more, the comments on the pix! Of people that don’t at least share same life-style "malhoumsh Fe ay 7aga, and on their comments, they fake it!!they try to go with the flow !! Their sayings go between “wow, you look stunning! Oh, you look great together, eiiii, teeee, ceeee,"as if this is all normal and me only freaking alien living here!I know those people for god's sake!

Am not talking about some other freaking creatures I don’t know well!So if the ones taking pictures having smth wrong in their systems, what’s so wrong in those who are commenting?!
I thought I got used to the idea of girls posting their profile picture in swimming suits! Though I really never get it!! Why to reveal some picture that is not supposed to be seen by everybody!Why all friends, friends of friends “sometimes everybody, which includes all people you know and don’t know! Maybe your colleague, someone was just passing by your door, your boss, the man in the supermarket, your neighbor,your driver,your doctor...whoever really!

Why do you let them see what they are not supposed to!!?I am sure that if that picture was of hardcopy! Think they won’t let it be distributed and published that way?! and just let it get into everybody's house! and office!
You now one thing that really pisses me off! when you see a bunch of boys surrounding someone's PC at work,and when you come close you figure out that they are checking out some Girl's pix on facebook! it feels humiliation and I feel pity for the girl!
I don't consider myself a narrow minded person! Ever known as an open-minded !
where is privacy? Privacy is not only setting your privacy settings,to limit access to your profile! No! privacy,is too keeping stuff to yourself NOT published everywhere!
Somebody explains! please!!

Those Little things what really matter!

All those little things you stopped to do!
All those little things you Now over do!
This way of talking! And shutting me up!
This way of really filtering what or not to tell!

Fine! If this is the way! Really Okay with me!
It isn't about some question been asked!
You attack! You defend! Why the heck!
Though the talk was just on going!
And I was by all means self- controlling!
Making an issue of it?! Me?
I will stop talking.

Zara is opening in Egypt and it will be local !!!

It really surprised me that two friends of mine are completely against the Idea of Zara opening in Egypt! The reason why?! Coz they think it will be then a Local Thing!! Hence, Brand is losing its value!! And everybody will be wearing Zara! So you will not be differentiating really between who is shopping here and who is doing it abroad! And you won’t be able to tell of clothes that are..? N who not?? ! It will be like "sha3bey”!!Local brand!


I was really shocked to hear that! Coz me among those who are really excited to finally have Zara opening here! It has been ages and ages when we suffered of local brands...unless you can fly and do you shopping somewhere else!

Till few years back when the bless of Brands started to fall on Egypt lands, was like a miracle coming to real! A dream coming true!it started with Mango and some other few, and started to grow and grow, You really can tell, that we have now outlets for a Bunch of brands and labels !! Akheeraaaan!!!!!! “Regardless to the PRICES Fact, That they are way higher than those of same label, same piece sold out anywhere else but Egypt!! God only knows why!

In so many times the original price is left there on the price tag in Euro /Dollars, and it also has the price as in Egyptian pounds which has nothing to do with original currency transferred to Egy Pounds"!! It is like, always original price plus!!



That couple of friends don’t really argue about the concept of having labels here, at all! , they only do about Zara, coz apparently Zara is their favorite too!

And they don’t want everybody to share it with them!!

Being unique! Different! , I know how it feels if you wear something you think is unique and beautiful, and you step in a place or wherever to see some other is wearing it!! How about IF many do!! It feels bad, cheap, and I hate that piece of clothes and maybe don’t put it on again!

"3o2da" maybe! But I too love to be unique and I do hate to be wearing smth and find out everybody is having it!! And if you are hanging out around a coffee shop maslan, you will find 3 or 4 of you! Aw!!!


That happens to guys mostly, it happens with their T-shirts, I can tell that I sometimes get mixed up with persons coz of their Same Identical Polo shirts!!


Back to Zara thing, so when I got to think of it that way! The way that I really wished I did not. I think I too do not want it to open here :((

Yet I want to!!! Grrrrr


It is really confusing! When a brand is going local!! And of course local brands as they always do, they will try to copy the models and all and do it in bad fabrics!!cheap prices !! So it will not be only about Zara everywhere, it will be also about Zara-alike “ta2leed ya3ny "...

I know! The original wins in this situation, yet the feeling of Zara Local here!

So, you might think of something now! That they don’t let the prices that affordable to everyone! Hence, they will maintain their uniqueness and so! I say No! For god's sake NO!

Coz already prices are higher than anywhere else as mentioned earlier! , and can’t be of any higher really! And after all, it is not that affordable to all!


And those who go shopping in Gulf, Europe or wherever will be same shopping here added to them a slight number of people who don’t really have the chance to go shopping abroad!


Only one thing I can think of right now!! The Longchamp bag! That every woman and girl has! Whenever I lay my eyes on some girl I just got puzzled with another same Longchamp!! Blue, Brown, white, small, medium, big. All colors in all sizes!!!

Noooo!!

So ? I really donno !

I am Tagged ! (2)

I am tagged !!!
I.inside tagged me in her post , You know this is my second in a couple of weeks !
I know ! you havnet seen the first yet ! I know I know...coz I am still working on it..
sorry but that one is kind of time consuming ! Oh ! :) and it Needs Maths .

, I 'd like to tag whoever reads this ! yes. You are TAGGED....and please post a link to your post in my comments that I can come and check it out..or you can leave your answers here at once ! Do it your way..

Here we go :
__________________________

Favourite Colour: Black , Blue , Green , Red , white..cant really tell !
Favourite Perfume (Guys) : Givenchy - Pi Perfume and Pi Neo
Favourite Perfume (Girls) : Euphoria , Pure Purple Hugo Boss ..CHANEL Coco Mademoiselle too
Favourite PJ brand: Victoria's secret
Favourite Clothes Brand: Zara ,Promod , Veromoda and Nike
Favourite Person in the Entire World: My Soul-Mate ..
Favourite Country: Italy , Spain and yes Egypt !
Favourite Car: mini Cooper,Audi and a red Dodge :)
Favourite Sport: Squash ,tennis..and soccer
Favourite Sports Player: Kaka , and who doesnot love David Beckham !
Favourite Spot in the World: lots !it could be a swimming-pool ! cozy place with nice music and good coffee ! a library ! reading a book while sitting in the sun ! Sea-side ! cruise in the nile !
lots really ! ..even the gym , I see it one of my fav places ! and Ofcourse Aswan !
Favourite Animal: Dogs ( a golden retreiver ) and Horses.
Favourite Movie: Fight Club ,Serendipity,God Father,You've got mail and for arabic (el-sellem wel te3ban-Snake and Ladder )
Favourite Singer: Kurt Cobain - Jim Morrison - Tracy Chapman -Alanis morissette - Bon Jovi-Fayrouz-Mounir
Favourite Day of the Week: anyday but Tuesday ! ..and sure the weekend
Favourite time of the day: The morning..I love to see the sun ! ..and I too love it late night !
Favourite holiday season: Summer Holidays ! Sun ,Sand and Sea ...,I cant wait !
Favourite number: 7
Favourite food: Burger, Pizza and Pasta
Favourite chocolate: lots ! Lindt white with Almonds , Kit-Kat , Maltesers ,Snickers and Brownies if that can be included too!

Favourite Cartoon: Finding Nemo , Tom & Jerry , The Simpsons and Lion King
Favourite Blogger: hmmmmm!! hmmm !! hmm ! Dont have one :( ..
Favourite Icecream Flavour: Vanilla , chocolate add to them a caramel sauce ! Yummi
Favourite Mobile Brand: Sony Ericsson .
Favourite Name: ! dont really know ! maybe Sarah for girls .. Taymour for Guys
Favourite Hobby: swimming ,squash,reading , listening to music ,going to moviez and Shopping:)
Favourite Room in my House: my space , my room and I cant deny it the Bathroom :D,it is even called " bayt elra7a ;) "

Favourite Fruit: I just dont hv any fav right now , coz of the Diet Plans I am following !"I already started to dislike Orange and Apples "..But I love Mango ! yea , Mango and bananas

Favourite Flower: Sun Flower,daisy and Casablanca Lily ..
Favourite Qur'an Reciter: Mashary Rashed .
Favourite Ayah (verse): lots ! (من يتقى الله يجعل له مخرجا ويرزقه من حيث لا يحتسب),
(أَلَمْ يَأْنِ لِلَّذِينَ آمَنُوا أَنْ تَخْشَعَ قُلُوبُهُمْ لِذِكْرِ اللَّهِ وَمَا نَزَلَ مِنَ الْحَقِّ وَلا يَكُونُوا كَالَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْكِتَابَ مِنْ قَبْلُ فَطَالَ عَلَيْهِمُ الأَمَدُ فَقَسَتْ قُلُوبُهُمْ وَكَثِيرٌ مِنْهُمْ فَاسِقُونَ)
Favourite Website: Google it :)

I am a Creep !!

That was the Original Creep by Radiohead ..which I can't find any better right now to go with my bad mood.
There is another version ( Acoustic ) I like most :
________________________________



me singing :
________

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.
I don't care if it hurts,

I want to have control.
I want a perfect body,
I want a perfect soul.
I want you to notice,
when I'm not around.
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo.What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.

Creep ..By Stone Temple Pilots

I Thought of sharing this..As I like the song originally by Nirvana, I tried to find it out on Utube but no joy! Good thing is ; the you tube I posted here is about my ever favorite Kurt Cobain !

Enjoy it.

______________________

Forward yesterday

Makes me wanna stay

What they said was real

Makes me wanna steal

Livin' under house

Guess I'm livin', I'm a mouse

All's I gots is time

Got no meaning, just a rhyme

Take time with a wounded hand 'Cause it likes to heal

Take time with a wounded hand'Cause I like to steal

Take time with a wounded hand'Cause it likes to heal, I like to steal.

___________________________________________

10 Things I LOVE about you --->>To The Love of my life..

I have been thinking lately to write this ,"the 10 things I hate about you " , and I thought it would be nice to start with the 10 things I love about you ! ..they used to teach us in the communication skills courses and courses alike, that you should start with the positive things before the negative ones, and here I am ,applying the rule..and I will start with your 10 best that I like...

The idea of the 10 things I hate about you , came from the movie once, and I think I been to someone's blog who wrote smth alike sometime ago. so credits of Idea go to both.

lastly, I think it is great that you too write down what you too like about me and what you most hate , and maybe we communicate it ,seeking better relation and communication.

Here we go :)

10 Things I love about you

__________________________

1- I love you when " I wake up on your call in the morning, with your shiny voice , rise and shine ..."my nickname"...,"when you have that goodmorning spirit ! when the vibes are trasferred through air.and just make me smile and feel good about the day..when you get me with Goodmorning :)

2- I love you when we are in a fight and you make it up to me , I love it when you surprise me with a call ,or droppin by , intiating a movement to make it up to me..with your sweet words and tenderness... remember, when we had a fight last new year 's,and following morning I found you waiting for me around my house ! though you could have waited for ages ! you had no clue then if i will be goin out or not that day ! yet you waited for me that day for hours ! and it was really nice then ! I still recall that day ! I love it when you make it up that way.

3- I love you when you look for my hand .tryin to find your place to it..whenever wherever we are :) ,,walking down the street , sittin in whatsoever place...even if we are in the middle of a fight..it is so romantic ! i just love it when we hold hands :)

4-I love you when you wash away my tears , I love you when you just cant stand seein me cry and do all it takes to wash those tears away ..I love you :)

5- I love you when you go off your way just to make me feel happy , or just cause you know that I wanted smth someway , you just say yes to whatever I say ..you go off yourway for me, you are ready to do smth you dont like for me...

I still recall that you went to movies with me though it was tamer hosny's ! I still owe you this !

6- I love you when you pass by, to pick me up, me goin down stairs , you see me and I see you :) and you have that smile on your face ! I just love it :) it makes me feeeel happy .

that you are here for me , and you are happy to see me..and I do miss you.

7- I love it more, when I see that smile with those words comin from you " you look wonderful tonight !:)

8- I love it when you sing to meeeeeeeee!! this is really amazing , I love it when you do sing really..whatever you do , it just finds away to my heart :) ..and yes Sotak 7elw:)

9- I love it when you fix me my coffee:) and ask me beakhabasa if I need cinnamon :)

10- I love it when you make me laugh :) you know you most likely make me laugh ;) and I love it when you do try to help me get out of bad mood..but please balash 2effehat 2alsha :)

11- I love presents ! who does not ! and I love your taste in that ! you are brilliant ! and I love it when it comes in non expected occasion ! dont get me wrong ..you dont hv to buy me one NOW:)

12- I love it when you call and sms me before you go to bed..when the last thing you say is goodnight babe..

13- I love sms's, you know I do, I love it when you sms me mid day sayin you love me, or just call me to say so ..I love it when we are on a fight and see those tons of sms's and missed calls too.

14- I love Home..you are my home.

Oh I exceeded the 10 already ! and I still have alot to say !

15- I love compliments generally ! who doesnot ! So i love it when you do on my looks, my talks , my achievments at work...etc :) I love it when I see you proud of me , and see that look on your face,that you really like me and in love with me :)

16-I love it when you do your best to let me get over my blues..whether you know the reason or not ! I love it when you are there supportive..and listening , not really questioning but indeed supportive ..you listen to my fears , doubts attentively and you do your best to make it ease on me.

17- I love it when we communicate, whether on a fight or not..I love when I see that we really can handle a talk ..we can understand each, we respect each .

I love it when we have an intellectual talk, one of those that my face goes red and my voice's pitch gets higher we arf3 el 3alam :) ..I love it when we can talk in anything really..anything , and have a good talk.

18-I love you when we are both on the same wavelenght ..I love it when I see telepathy between us.when I call you while you were just dialing in my number..when I think if you and I just see your name on my mobile

(it is happening now :)) you are callin now :) ..You see :) and you just communiacted good news!)

19- I love it when I see you doing stuff to impress me , however they are tiny things or big things.I love it when I see it on your face that you love me.

20- I love you when you drop me off, wait to see me ridin the stairs with that look and smile on your face and that Love you, I still miss you vibe in the air..

21- I love it when you are keen to go to movies or a concert just cause I want to ...and I love it more when we both want to.

22- I love it when we communicate and share everything...and capable of sharing whatever.

23-I love it when you suggest my favorite desserts ..brownies obsession ,sundae with extra chocolate and caramel ,or Power and then we go for Burger :)

It is really sweeeeet.

24-I love you and I love you more when I see that you love me as much as I do ..in whatever you do and say ..

25-I love you when we recall our history , our past , and think of our future :)

when you recall everything we shared , how it happened , with dates and timings ! you get me when you do that ! when you still recall what we both were wearing that day !

I love it when we talk of our future and how we want it to be , of our kids insha2allah..of everything..I really enjoy and love talking to you.

26- love long hair on you :) you know that already !

27- love you when you call me just after we hang up to tell me that you still miss me :) , or call me thousands of times a day for same reason :)

28-I love it when you check on my blog and comment or discuss with me what I wrote..

when you check my facebook and too make comments or send me on the wall :)

I love it too when you drop me a msg or gift there..It really feels good when you the one you love is caring about everything you do and interested in what you too do.and you do that to me :)

29-I love you when you look great and you know that you look awesome and you say it bekhobs 3m.... mozz ?? :))

30- I love it when You recognize my smell , and know the perfume I wear :) and sometimes can tell if i had a shower or not,coz you can tell there is a shampoo's smell not that I stink :))

31- I love it when we argue over whose IQ is higher :) I believe inny me3ddeyak bemara7el :P:)

32-I love you when you do the thinking and not ask me to fish :)

33-I love you when you share the dream, fears and doubts ..when you talk it.

34-I love you coz you are faithful to me and you dont lie to me

35-I love you coz you gave me all the love I needed and still crave .

36-I love you coz you are my soulmate, my best friend, my partner ,my whole family and the whole world.

37-I love you when we go for prayers wherever we are..

38-I love you when you say " allla ballala laaaaaa "....acting mahmoud abdelaziz :)

I love you...and I love my loving to you.. you are too good to be true.

39- I love you when we listen to our favorite song , or watch our favorite movie..

I love you when it is crystal clear we have so much in common.

40-I love you when you drink of my Coke , and you are always done with your food before I am,and try to eat mine...

41-I love you when you do say and mean " everything will be alright "

42-I love you when we go shopping together.

43-I love you when you cruise around my house, with your hand on horn,playin Ba7ebek ba7ebek:) I love you when you do it unexpectedly :)


44-I love you when you surprise me at work and find you there "around my work place", or surprise me by droppin by some place you know i will be at .

45-I love you when we cruise and you always make it " el-laffa eltaweela " , though its already late , n we hv been cruisin for hours now, but you just dont want to leave me :)
same when you ask , ha ,adkhol yemeen walla atl3 elkobry:)....it feels great that you always miss me and longing to me :)

46-I love you when you come around KFC and always ask " 7arra2 ? "..:) whether we are hungry or not ! in so manytimes we just hd our dinner / lunch , n you still ask it in a funny way...7arra2:)) and you sometimes just go for it ,when me / you is blue .it goes well with the bad mood I guess :) the chili toasted twister effect :) with chicken pop corn :)

47- I love you , when it is time to step out of your car " when you are droppin me off " and it is way late already , but neither me or you wants to leave or get home ! we just want to stay with each! I love it when we miss each while we are still together ! and cant leave to get home !
I love you when I see that " stay some more " on your face , when you want to stay for good:) I want too ! ..when you keep on cruising around my house not letting me to get out :) ..I love youu and I dont want to leave you , even to get home.
I miss you already , so longing to you.

I Love You


I love you and I still think that list can hold more, It sure does..words dont come easily you know!

you know ! it shocks me now ,as it feels there is nothin really left that I hate about you! at least for now:)
you see ! it feels good ..I love you ...am thankful for the countless things you give me!
I am grateful I have you in my life 3mry , I am happy that I do.
Rabenna yekhaleek leyya, Love you babe...more n more n more

_____________________________________________


N.B: they are not in order, though i might consider re-arranging them later! , I just let 'em out the order they hit me.

We will not go down..a Song dedicated to Gaza , by: Michael Heart

We will not Go Down .

مش عارف أعمل حاجة !! a song dedicated to Gaza

Listen attentively to the Lyrics..

whether you like the guy or not !!

mosh 3aref a3mel 7aga ...nefsy a3mel 7aga

shayef akhouya beyt3zeb we ana batfarrg 3alaih !!

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a song by : Tamer Hosny

The C.C.O.B.B,The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

I was born under unusual circumstances.” And so begins “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button,”

Brad Pitt as Benjamin tells the story..

it is a breath taking movie, you can not go anywhere till you get to the end of it ! though it is a little bit long !(2 hrs 43 minutes ) yet I didnot feel it , I was curious and attached all movie , captured by the acting and story.

This is my best movie in so loooooong....One of best movies Ever.

It just hit me in so many lines , like you will never know whats coming for you , life is measured by moments , be yourself, live it yourway..dont let others take control of it...

it lets you think of your life , analyze what you been through and what you dream for ..and tells you there is nothing impossible.

It shows you the fears of aging old as much as if you do young , it goes beynod your expectations..

it has love, war, motherhood,young,old,.....all you can think of.

Benjamin is growin younger , although we all hate growin old , Benjamin will make you think of it again..

I can not find words desribing how much I loved the movie , this is a sooooooooo damn GOOD movie ...I will see it over and over ..I do not want to stop talkin about it really !

Though the timing I saw it in was not a so good one , I was in deep blue, yet the movie helped me get out of it .

Brad Pitt as always Rocks !! he ROCKS !! Big Time !!!!..how brilliant is he ?? he makes you cry , smile , laugh....he just gets to you easliy ..you will enjoy seein him acting, gettin OLD,YOUNG,whatever really !!! he ROCKS ! he is awesome.

I am not surprised to know it's been nominated for 5 golden globes.

For full synopsis go to : IMDB

Do not miss that one !! Do not !! you will regret it , I tell you

Hope then you enjoy it as much as I did.

Save GAZA !!! Save GAZA !! Save GAZA !!!!Gaza Under Fire!!

I do not know what to say ! can not think of anything but"wallahy kefaya..wallahy el3azeem 7aram "!

this has to be stopped ! the non stop killing for 9 days now.for the attacks from everywhere.

the helpless kids and women murdered , the mosques destroyed...

Save GAZA ...save whats left ! save GAZA..

I do not know to whom this headed , I do not know anything ! all I know is I wish I can help.

I am standing still , all we can do is praying for them...pray pray pray pray please do not forget them in your prayers...if we have nothing to offer , we have to do the least which is praying for them.

I also never thought of the "starbucks" thing, but since the attacks started I boycott starbucks, I searched the internet and I could see the Jewish origin, so least we can do is to boycott all Israeli Products inc starbucks.

Gaza...I wish if I can do anything to make you suffer less.

I wish if I can be of help .

I have seen your skies lightened with rockets and fire ,which I think for Israel it is just fireworks

they dont give it a damn ? do they ? They kill old peaople unarmied, they kill women and children !! they kill randomly ! they are causing damage to everyplace they step on !!

they are coming from everywhere , from sea, sky and by land..they have been doing all kinds of kill !

They claim that hamas rockets are causing damage ! they land in like a no-one living place , causing no harm ,,just a hole in ground , while the Israeli rockets land in houses,mosques causing a kill of whole family of like 10 members and more !

Who is the terrorist ? Muslims ?? or Israelis ? how many murdered and injured for each party ?

on Palastine , it is like 500 murdered which I like to call martyred and more than 2000 injured badly ! while on the Israeli side, it is like 10-25 ?!! so who is the murder here ?!?!

Is there anybody out there listening ?? do you see the numbers ?? do you see the pictures ??

do you see the Fire??

_____________________





Allahoma 2Onsor Al-phelsteneen , allhomma 7arrer phalastine and Gaza, allahoma 2onsorna 3la el yahoud .


Allahoma fokk karbahom wa sadded ramyahom wa 2agheth-hom.

حسبنا الله ونعم الوكيل في اليهود اللهم عليك بهم فانهم لايعجزونك اللهم فرق جمعهم وشتت شملهم اللهم احصهم عددا
واقتلهم بددا ولا تغادر منهم احدااللهم زلزلهم ودمرهم وانزل عليهم عجائب قدرتك اللهم امين

اللهم إنا نشكو إليك دماءً للمسلمين سفكت, وأعراضاً هتكت, وحرمات انتهكت, ومساجد دمرت, ومنازل خربت, ومدارس عطلت, ومزارع أحرقت, وأطفالاً يتمت, ونساءً تأيّمت, وأمهات ثكلت, ليس لنا رب غيرك, ولا ملاذ سواك. اللهم فاغضب لعبادك المؤمنين, واثأر لجنودك الموحدين, وانتقم لنا من الطغاة المستكبرين, اللهم أحل بهم سخطك, وأنزل عليهم غضبك, ونقمتك, واسلبهم حلمك وإمهالك, وأرنا فيهم بطشك وقوتك.

الحمد لله رب العالمين حمداً كثيرا طيِّبا مباركا فيه ملء السموات وملء الأرض وملء ما بينهما وملء ما شئت من شيء بعد ، و صلّ اللهم على سيدنا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعين.اللهم بسطوة جبروت قهرك ، وبسرعة إغاثة نصرك ، وبغيرتك لإنتهاك حرماتك ، وبحمايتك لمن إحتمى بآياتك ، نسألك يا الله ، يا سميع ، يا مجيب ، يا منتقم ، يا شديد البطش ، يا جبار ، يا قهار ، يا من لا يعجزه قهرَ الجبابرة ، ولا يعظُم عليه هلاكَ المتمردة من الملوك و الأكاسرة ، أن تجعل كيد من كاد أهل غزة في نحره ، ومكْر من مكر بهم عائدا عليه ، وحفرة من حفر لهم واقعا فيها ، ومن نصب لهم شبكة الخداع إجعله يا ربنا مساقا إليها ومصادا فيها وأسيرا لديها.اللهم سلط على أعدائهم النقم ، اللهم بدد شملهم ، اللهم فرِّق جمعهم ، اللهم أقلل عددهم ، اللهم إجعل الدائرة عليهم ، اللهم أوصل العذاب إليهم ، اللهم أخرجهم عن دائرة الحِلم ، وأسلبهم مدد الإمهال ، وغُلَّ أيديهم ، واشدد على قلوبهم ولا تبلغهم الآمال ، اللهم مزِّقهم كلَّ ممزَّق مزَّقته لأعدائك انتصارا لأنبيائك ورسلك.اللهم انتصر لنا و لأهل غزة إنتصارك لأحبابك على أعدائكاللهم انتصر لنا و لأهل غزة إنتصارك لأحبابك على أعدائكاللهم انتصر لنا و لأهل غزة إنتصارك لأحبابك على أعدائكاللهم لا تمكّن الأعداء فينا ولا تسلطهم علينا بذنوبنااللهم لا تمكّن الأعداء فينا ولا تسلطهم علينا بذنوبنااللهم لا تمكّن الأعداء فينا ولا تسلطهم علينا بذنوبناإلهي يا من أجاب نوحا في قومه ، ويامن نصر إبراهيم على أعدائه ، ويا من رد يوسف على يعقوب ، ويا من كشف ضرَّ أيوب ، يا من أجاب دعوةَ زكريا ، يامن قبل تسبيحَ يونس لا إله إلاّ أنت سبحانك إنّي كنت من الظالمين ، نسألك بأسرار هذه الدعوات المستجابات أن تتقبل ما به دعوناك ، وأن تعطينا ما سألناك.اللهم أنجز لأهل غزة وعدَك الذي وعدتَه لعبادك المؤمنين ، إنقطعت آمالُهم وعزَّتك إلاّ منك ، وخاب رجاؤهم إلاّفيك ، وكفى بالله وليا ، وكفى بالله نصيرا ، وحسبنا الله ونعم الوكيل ، ولا حول ولا قوة إلاّ بالله العلي العظيم.اللهم إستجب لنا ، آمين ، وصلِّ اللهم على سيدنا محمّد سيد المرسلين.
_________________________________________________________

Update : Palestinian Holocaust museum site has been launched. worth a visit.

Keep it ?

So ? You decided to keep it ?! Cool
Dont ask me in the furture to share it.
_________________________________

I once told you how it is all about sharing ? listening ? understanding ? ......
Do you recall ?
_________________________________

*I could have saved that thought too,to myself ! but I just thought of sharin it , one last time.
_________________________________

Whatever you give a woman !

I got this by sms , it is Hillarioussss !:))
I thought of sharing it with you ;)

Whatever you give a woman , She will greater.
If you give her sperm , She will give you a baby.
If you give her a house , She will give you a home.
if you give her groceries ,She will give you a meal.
if you give her a smile , She will give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So , if you give her any crap ,be ready to receive a ton of shit :))

Cheers to all the ladies out there , and lets have a very new year :)

Chocoholic...Shopaholic and I can be a workaholic!

Yes..I am a chocoholic , I love chocolate to death ..I find happiness in a twix bar :) , I see the hot brownies with extra sauce chocolate and scoop of vanilla ice-cream is just Osome!! yummmi, I neeed one now!

I see Caramel as one thing PERFECT on top of anything ! I dont mind Caramel in out anything!

I just love Caramel , so when it comes to the mix , Caramel , Chocolate and Icre-cream ! ouffff !

Thats why the Mcdonalds Sundae chocolate and caramel mixed is still one of my favorites.

I love Chocolate with Hazelnuts , I adore white chocolate too, the toblerone is one of my best .

The Choclate comes along anything you may think of , with Ice-cream as already mentioned, with nuts , with caramel, with Coffee though.

Try your cofffee with a chocolate bar , and see how tasty both will be !

I love chocolate fudge too, and luv that with a cup of tea,mazag geddan :)

I love maltesers ..I love twix , I love KitKat , I love snickers , some galaxy.. I dont luv Bounty !!

I love lindt , I love Favarger and some other swiss ones.

I love anything that can come chocolated :)

Let alone , those tarts , chocolate , caramel , white chocolate , Toffee......etc, there is some shop called Pumpkin , it is my place now :) ..it is a place where you can find any dessert you may wish for !!..endless number of tarts it has, and all are awesome.Indeed !

I luv the twix cake , I adore it actually ..I love the toffee one too ...even the cheese cake when it comes with chocolate topping, I 'd rather have it with caramel :)

The brownies cake that comes with your coffee,know it that little piece ! , just plain brownies !, is my chase too :) , i dont mind having all the brownies in the world in addition to those ones served to my friends too :)

I am sure in love with Nutella , my endless love :) who doesnot love Nutella ??

and sure thing I do luv it ,z nutella crepe .whatever really :)

ana go3t , I need my dose of chocolate...

Chocolate chocolate chocolate ....with all love and passion...Chocolate really helps in bad moods ! I cant think of anything else when I am down ! it is your savior when you PMS ! whenever I am on diet I crave chocolate ...

I told you I am a chocoholic :)

To be Continued ....to know the shopaholic me too.

Happy New Year ..2009

Happy New Year to you all .
I just canot believe that 2008 is finally officially GONE ! akheeeeran !
and I cant help it but hope for a better year , full of joy , peace and happiness.
Goodbye 2008 with the good and bad it had ..
2009 , i waited for you ..for a happy new year :)..please be good and happy ba2a !!:)

Couldnot find anything better than ABBA's voice to say Happy new year...
have you seen the tower's lighting today ? " el-kahareb yes :)) " ..it was displayin a " Happy New year ",,it was sooo lovely..and I just then felt it in the air , that a new year has finally come :)

Happy New year ..to you , and your family..I wish myself and you too that all our dreams come true ,that we become United ! as benetton colors,kiddin :)...I wish for Free Palestine,Arabs united and Gaza's freedom ...wish all the wars and killing in the world just stop ! wish if we can hv our pride and dignity back ! I wish.

Listen to the song , I just love it..
I extracted those parts :

"Sometimes I see How the brave new world arrives,And I see how it thrives,In the ashes of our lives,Oh yes, man is a fool!And he thinks he'll be okay!Dragging on, feet of clay!Never knowing he's astray!Keeps on going anyway..."

"May we all have a vision now and thenOf a world where every neighbour is a friend"
"May we all have our hopes, our will to tryIf we don't we might as well lay down and die"

Happy New year !

No Plans for new yearz Eve !

I have no plans so far for new year's eve , it is not like I must celebrate it or though ! at all !
It is just a day as any other day , yet I am missing some concert I used to go to in new yrz eve.

This year I am not goin to , for so many reasons actually , on top : Gaza and whats happening there ! how can one be celebrating with fire and kill on borders ! with the helpless Gaza !
let alone , my fiance who wasnot willing to go for it this yr, coz of the crowd and bahdala we faced last yr.
anywayz, the concert is cancelled " from the sponsors themselves " ..empathizin Gaza .

I do not mind sittin at home , watchin TV , most likely it will be followin NEWS channels, which will bring more sad here ..who is not sad for whats happening in Gaza !

This night brings back memories,so long ago , when I used to sit at home and watch Tv , with my whole family around ..we watch a movie masalan " sooo many yeras back was scent of a woman :) how i still recall that ?!! "
or we watch a live concert, or just surfing between european channels to see the celebrations world wide ..I recall too, that we used to make a delivery order that night , most likely Burger and pizza..we eat and eat ...then ne2az2az lebb :D couldnot be said any better ! :)
ouff..those days were really good !

I too recall that in so many times I used to hv exams on 1st of Jan , so the new years eve was a nightmare too ! lots of studies, pain that I am not sharing with family this tradition " unless for the burger part "...I feel like 7aramouny mn ahham 7aga ! watchin Tv that night ! Oh god , those days I dont long !

Also, there were times when I used to go for some house parties, not a raving party ..that was like aparty held at one of my friends houses , for girls mainly , we talk , dance , and sure eat too !..that was good too , was fun indeed..i miss those ones.

years later , i had in my routine that concert which is taking place every year same time , which I am not goin to this yr .

My Finace , you should have planned for that ahead ? I donno ! I know I am not into having this night as aspecial thing ! as i mentioned earlier it is an ordinary night.
yet , I used to hv some plan about it , and this year as long as we are together , I think " THINK " you should hv planned smth for both of US together! maybe it could have been some fancy dinner? some...I donno , it is you who should have done the thinking!!..but you just didnot ! at all! you just showed you are nt into the concert and didnt give any alternatives ! though I stressed on you doin the choice and plan ? yet You didnt :(
am not in the mood anyway ...but I wouldnot mind you having plans for it again ..but you just didnt !! good for you that it comes along my not so good mood..and feeling that we cant be doing anything ..the least we can do for Gaza .

Gaza..no words will ever be enough ..to support and show that we all here are praying for you
rabenna ma3ako we yonsorko ya rab ...
with love sealed in tears to Gaza..
Kollena Gaza.

Here is a Year to Go , another to Come ?!!

I have to admit it , it is not my fav time of year ! at all ! Someone once told me it is related to my Sign and so , I am not so good in Zodiacs but I heard libras are affected ! I really do not know ! anywayz, am not so convinced , yet I can tell that I am not feeling well specifically this time of year, which happens every year..
It goes for months actually , lets say for the winter time ?However I love winter , love it when it rains , yet there is depression! I do not know the reason beyond it ? is it in the air ? I donno !
I ever thought coz I used to be single before , and winter was always like stressin on idea ! coldness and lonliness part ?! it is affectin my mood generally...but C'mon I am not single anymore ? so what is it ?
Maybe I am still not used to the idea that I am not single anymore !, and coz I have been single for loooong,it is a whole life actually..maybe coz of that , that feeling is well built in , and became like essential to me which I canot get rid of !! I donno !

along with this feeling, A year goes by.. 2008 ....is only having 5 days left...counting down already started , yeah..and another one to come..a Brand New Year.
at this time of year I too love to watch out , sit and analyze, how was the passing year ? and what I am looking for in the coming one?
How was 2008 ? hmmm, ..it was one of worst I guess, if i talk about the living we do and what the world been facing ..I Can say it went way worse !!..takin into consideration all the killing and violence this yr had. "especially locally here in town ".

apart from this, and personally , I would say..that yr was cool for some part and the other was just not..I dont want to go into details about it anyway.
But I too know , the year held so many things so many dreams which some of 'em came true el7amdulellah..some are still pending action.

I Accomplished not so bad goals along the way , yet I am still affected by my mood , which leaves on me the impression that it wasnot a so good year ! was it ??

2009, what I am expectin from you ? I always write down by the new yrz eve what I am lookin to achieve in the new year..to sit by end of yr " as I am doin now " to see what I got and achieved and So.
2009 ..just the number scares me ! I was one of those who thought everything will happen by the yr of 2000 ! and when I wanted to say like " it ll never happen " i used to say insha2allah in 2000 ,and 2000 passed and I had to increase the number hence, 2007 had been madly used!!...so when it comes to 2009 it will be like hard to say ! hard to guess !

2009.
1-I wish Peace,that comes among my first wishes to you, peace for me , my family and whole world.
No more wars please, no more killing , no more violence, no more Please!

2- I wish..." You know it , I dont hv to name it , but I will let you know it , I ever wished I get marry before the age of 30 , and I still do..and regardless to the age thing , I wish me and 3mry get married soon.I wish he becomes the best groom ever !"related to the wedding we always argue about "! best lover ! best husband !best Dad to my kids later! I need him to be best in everything as best as I will try to be too! it is relative I know ! but I wish I find him always listening , understanding , loving , caring , faithful ,.....and sweet to me .

3- I wish I accomplish my goals at work and build my career really well , and get promoted and maybe looking for a raise too :)

4- I wish I have a great House, which I furnish on my way...want it to be beit saye3 :)
I always wished it to be with a garden ,a golden retriever dog ..swimming pool..kefaya keda:)
5- I wish I go for pilgrimage and 3omrah this year. ya rab.
6- I wish as always, I get better, religious wize...the spiritual part is always affecting all parts and on me especially , so I really wish I work on that one , and get way better.
7- I wish I become a good wife , and mom later..I wish I cook .do laundry..do all stuff brilliantly , meanwhile I still be myself ..I am freaked out that I get transformed or I just fail doin home stuff !..I need to be a superwoman..I wish though.

I like to stop at number 7 , my fav number , though I still hv lots of wishes and..I wish they come true this yr.
Love , happiness and Peace
Happy New Year :)

Cheating on your wife's back ??!!

I do not know why I am exactly writing this ! All I know that I am thinkin of that girl all day long !
She is a single mom with two adorable kids.

The girl's blog , I passed by ! by chance , through globalvoices , as some post of it was published on it today .and once I got to check it out , I was completely attracted ,attached and captured to Oblivia.

I know for some reason that I felt pitty for her , reminds me of one of things I always say to myself and had to do to my fiance , is that..I canot buy betrayals..it is not an option ! I cant eat it ! i am sorry !
and I was always sorry for all the moms , and women around who passed through it , and I guess I saw many living examples, some agreed on surviving and tryin to forgive for kids sake " which myself I see they never forgave anyway , they just couldnot , so their life and kids was a livin hell "..,well some others couldnot take it , and got divorced , some could go on, some paused and stopped in time.
but I know that the cheatin on one's back is PAIN that no one can tell how it feels ! n you cant ask a woman to forgive that though.
And I just can not think of one reason that would make a husband do so to his family and his beloved wife ! why so ?! Girl, I dont want to make it any harsh on you..I really dont mean to.
It is just one of things I ever thought of ! and one of the things that always kept me away from marriage idea..the fact is all men are " 3einhom zaygha "..canot be satisfied with one woman ! even if she is Ms Universe ! he will still look for some ordinary girl to convince himself that he has needs that he didnt find in that first one who was to be Ms Universe ! but C'mon , who needs Ms universe now ! I need someone can cook for me ! clean the house !! etc...and if he chose her to be of that type at the beginning , he would later on complain of her cookin smell ! her nasty look ! whatever and go lookin for Ms Universe ! This is man for me !! and he goes on and on ! and he never feels satisfied ! content !

Throughout his marriage , I dont mind him to stop ! take a decision ! talk it out ! and decide not to go on ! admit it ! and tells his partner that he doesnt want to go on ! or at least he is not satisfied with one woman only in his life and needs to have another ! in this case, she has all rights then to go on or step back.
thats the minimum he can do ! and he should leave her the decision , and he should be givin her all rights too ! but it shouldnot be NEVER a cheat on one's back ! never !! that is mean ! thats cheap ! thats one thing I cant fnd a proper word for !

So, if you man canot think twice before goin after your instincts..if you cant think of your family , your wife , your kids , morals.....whatever that should prevent you from takin sucha step ! you lose then ! coz you cant keep that faithful wife anymore, you cant gain her respect ! not anymore ! you cnat ask your kids to love you ! you cant ask for love from anyone ! not anymore !
and almost in all scenarios ! you feel the fault once your wife gets to know about it ! just then ! and you say sorry and give excuses and try to make it up ! and suddenly , you find out that you cant live without your wife and kids and that other woman was just a "nazwa" as you men love to call it more often ! as if women should by then be understanding and eat it !! bala 2araf !
and the funniest thing , that once you feel your wife is eating it and everything goes back to norm " which never happens as I hv seen in cases around , there is always bitterness that cant be burried in "..elmohem, once for you everything seems to be okay , and your wife forgot about that "little " thing you once did to her, you go back again on HAUNTING !!
What do you call that ?? you never learn ? Do you ?? and again cant find a proper word describing you then !
And what really kills , that he starts on blamin it on her ? and starts on sayin bullshit ! and he makes it sound as if she asked him to go and see another ! and whats more sad , that if one of the family members knew about it ! they will start givin HER the lessons of bein a wise wife and how to protect her house and husband ! and it sure was her fault that he was playin around !!
sick community ! sick you who think in such a way ! even when He is the one to blame you dont forget to blame it on HER instead !! how ugly is it !!
and I wonder if that woman you left your family runnin after will give you that love you dreamed for ! if it will last for extra months than supposed !..you know as much as I know the loss you gained and who is the loser indeed !
so you gotta think twice before you go and play around , you gotta think twice of the consequences ahead. and why dont you think of it on a religious way though ? that,it is 7aram !and what goes around comes around !!

And I wonder,if it was SHE , cheatin on him , would he take it ? would he accept it ? would he forgive ? would he go on and pass it without ever mentionin it in any fight later ? will he forgive that his wife was there in an affair with another ?? I doubt ! so why do you ask for forgiveness if you yourself cant give it in return ??
Dont ask for smth you cant give back !
And I believe , Religion prohibited it for both , to have a whatsoever called on other's back ! and the punishment is clear on that ! for both genders it is the same ! so why the hell the community is accepting it for men and just can not if it comes to women ?! this is not an invitation for both sexes to go do whatever !I am just mad at the community and society that let one live the way he wants , deal the way he likes, fool around and by end of day , community is proud of him coz he is a MAN !and MAN can do whatever he likes ?!? msh keda bardo !!

Their mothers are proud of them coz they had girlfriends at the age of 10 " and maybe less".
If you read the book " The poison tree" by Marwa Rakha, you will find what I am talkin about here, it is mentioned there in her book detailed ..the community helped in raisin our men the way they are now ! so I think we can not complain about it ! we hv to eat it then.

But you, mothers,young ones specially,you still have the chance to correct that..
please,do what it takes to save the coming generation from the posion we live in and hv to drink of.
DO your role in raisin good men , MEN in real meaning and manners not just in looks !
and Back to what I started my post with , all support to that little woman , whom I give my respect and prayers that she pass it soon..
and to you MAN , ra3ey rabenna fe meratak we 3eiltak, this quote is really meaningful for me...it truly touches me , if one can stop and think of it before he steps in any stupidity! IF !

3mry, I know , you might be readin this as well..you will at someday ! So ..I am askin you , Please.do not ever let me go through it ?! Please.. .You know, I will not be the one I used to be.

Regrets !

Regrets ! Regrets !
I am full of regrets
It hurts it aches
Is it my ever curse ?
It makes me feel haze
I am stuck in a big maze !
It causes a hell of pain !
It drives me insane !
It comes and goes leavin me in vain !
If I go back in time I sure would not go for that again !
Life will never be the same !
Regrets ! more Regrets
Nothing left to endure
No one I can trust
Nor to blame ! am all rust
Regrets and Regrets
life is passing by ..
Can I still make it ? or
Even be able to fake it ?
I am falling
I am calling
and again no one is looking
Regrets and Regrets
Have nothing left.

Whatever !

Whatever !
I really dont care ! whatever !
I dont give it a damn ! whatever !
Whenever! Wherever ! Whatever !
Do you really care ! You dare !
Whatever !
You are not even there !
Not willing to share !
Whatever !
Cant figure it out , coz You are almost OUT
Whatever !
Say it out loud ! Whatever !
Come ! Near to the ground ! Whatever !
Fly high ! say Goodbye ! whatever !
Walk around and mingle , how nice it sounds ! Whatever !
I preassume !! Ha ! Focus and Zoom !
Whatever !
I will walk away , am not willing to stay !
Whatever !
I will shut my ****** up ,was it ever enough !
Whatever !

The Illusionist..a really nice one

I just watched that one ! and it is interesting indeed..Edward Norton is doing another role brilliantly , I never doubted his talent ! and I dont know how I missed that one in Theatres ! But I am glad I finally had the chance to see it..
Illusionist is kind of movies will make you think,I recall when we used to watch David Copperfield performing his magical shows, it gave me same sense, yet it was different , interesting and makes you think of it..and you get way surprised by the ending . I really liked it indeed.

Sad

Why are you makin it harder on me ?
Dont you see the hurt you caused ?
Dont you see how mad I have become ?
Dont you see the anger inside me ?
Dont you see the sad me ?
Does it matter the worse you and me gonna be ?
I am scared I lose you ! as much as I am scared that I keep one I never knew !
I am scared that would be the way you deal with me all way long !
I am scared I lose myself tryin to gain you !
I feel bad , way bad..hurt though
I am not okay and I had the feeling I will never be !


Will you ever give it a damn and care enough ?
Will you listen ? or this is just not enough !
I am hurt ! I bleed ! and no one can make it ease on me!
I cry and no one can see those tears nor try to please!
How do you lose faith in me ? how do you let fears and doubts interfere !
I ever thought our love is big and strong enough , till that moment, it took me apart
I am hurt and it hurts
It still hurts
I love you.
I am scared I lose you.

_________________________________

P.S : I wrote it couple of days back.

STOMP OUT LOUD. in Cairo.

Yes..They will be performing here in Cairo for their first time , in Cairo Opera House , starting from Nov 20 to 23 this year ...Visit their official page.

STOMP are really impressive, I really do not hv to talk about them , check out their videos on you tube yourself , to figure out how brilliant they are.

They do a BRILLIANT music without using any muscial instruments ! they are awesome !

I wish I were able to make it,to the concert , but tickets are really way expensive , they range from 400 LE to 1000 LE ...so the cheapest is like 60 USD ! which I think is way expensive here !!

Even If I can afford it , this is rediculous that you pay that big amount of money to go see smth cultural / musical / whatever is...The government should be doing efforts to bring them over in order to let the popularity see them ! instead of a certain level and certain ppl that always have the chance to see attend such events ! remember last Maria Pages' ! I wrote about that before ! same thing and same tickets prices !!!...

as for STOMP , it is some private organisation who is dealing with this event, so the gov is not really responsible on that ! but maybe regulations or whatever is needed here to make the tickets available for a all levels not ONLY a certain level !

why I will not be able to see STOMP in Cairo ! coz of the tickets prices indeed !

Moreover, they will be performing in Cairo Opera House ..it is a Formal attire then and a Tie !

if you checked out their Videos , you will know for sure what I am talking about ! their shows and their clothes and material used dont suit the Opera house ! you should be in a jeans and T-shirt as one stated in the event page on Facebook not in a Tie !!

But I read there too, that the STOMP who decided to perform in the opera House, they choose it and the organisers had no option ! Also , the STOMP is the reason behind those expensive tickets !

I donno! all I know that, it is really sad that they do it that way ! and they will be here in a couple of days and I wont be able to make it ! I am sad.

What is so wrong about women smoking in Public !!

3eib ! The so traditional arabic word we all got used to ! raised upon ! one of the words we heard moreover than any word else ! it means like " not appropriate " , yet it doesnot give you the space or right to do it.
we use it like prohibition , you CAN NOT do it.

I do not usually surf the net for the topic I am about to write on, Maybe coz I do not usually feel like doing so ! to avoid any biasing or influencing....But this time I did.
I wanted to know , if it is a question asked anywhere esle but here ! is it we only Arabs who still address that question ? and do care about the answer ? and why do we really do ? to categorize the smoking women ? so why do not we do to smoking men ?!!

I started my search looking up smoking girls , and I got in return too many videos for girls smoking "not arabs", and the comments on those videos as if it is smth strange that they do smoke in public ! I got surpised really.

I narrowed my search to " Do girls smoke in public ?" , and I was shocked by a yahoo page, where a non-egy woman was asking same questions,briefly she been to Egypt and was smoking shisha in public , and she wondered if egy women smoke too ? ..she was curious.
what really shocked me the answers she got back...some said that they do , majority do , some said they do not..others said they do behind closed doors ! ..see the page yourself.

But this is assured for me that, the question is there.flying in the air...it is not only having the " made in egypt" tag on it.

For the records, Chanel , was the first woman to be smoking in public and she was badly attacked for that..and it was not quite easy for her to face her community too. she even had one of her famous perfumes addressed for that .."women who dare smoking in public "..see that page too.

So , at least I know now that it had been a cause for some , regardless if you believe in it or not.

I recall, when it was back then prohibited by the community to see girls sitting in cafes and smoking , and those girls who wanted to smoke, they were always heading the restrooms for that..they couldnt be doing it in public, they wouldnot dare tell their parents about it !..that was like 8 yrs back ....but at that time too and maybe with few years earlier, girls started to smoke shisha in public, yet they were criticized by everyone sittin around..and the smoking girl then was like an easy girl in so many eyes.
So, girls / women started the innovation by smoking shisha, and they wouldnot dare smoking cigs in public, their outlet was the restrooms / someone's place where there is noone around...Years went by , and girls started to show up in cafes smoking cigarettes ! was quite odd at first ! but in a while it spread out in non-local universities..schools...girls started to gain trust again , and show community that, it has nothing to do with being an easy one !.
Now, it is a so common thing, that you see most of the girls around the place you are sitting in are smoking ! not ODD anymore ! not telling anything supposedly anymore !
They smoke as you men do ! whats so wrong in that ! it is not an indication of anything !
Before, a guy would have been quite worried to propose to a girl who is smoking " in public " ..he would be okaywith it if she does behind closed doors but not in public...nowadays, its" cool " to get married to a smoker, they will share the packs.
Now , most of the smoking girls, smoke wherever they are..not only in cafes...wherever ..their work place , even if it takes them to stand in the street ,infront of the building they work in , with a bunch of men to have their Cig., they would do it at any ones place too, they would do it in the movie theatres ..clubs..restaurants..schools and yes at HOME.
most of my smoking girl firends smoke at home , coz they are not children anymore , they are all goin on 30's..and afterall its their own decision..and again it is not telling anything if a girl is smoking !..so by time, girls could gain that too, in addition to their image , their right to smoke at home and not behind closed doors.
for sure..it doesnot imply for all , still a percentage can not do it in public ! and still do at the rest rooms !
But..the image has changed, whether you agree on it or Not ! it has been changing rapidly..
The question really , why its not yet changed for some men ? why they still do think its " 3eib " ?! not appropriate !! with the so change they see in society and the swift in the community's traditions.
It is acceptable among quite people, among quite generation,among a certain standard.
so why is it still not among some others ?
I am not doing an invitation here for girls to smoke and men to accept it ?
I am just raising the question ? why with the so open-minded community we live in ?" or at least pretend to be in so many cases ".....why still some refuses it with same level they did in the very beginning ??

I can not ditch the part , where how harmful and even money waste cigarettes are...
I quoted this for you..you can check this for whole article.

Teens who smoked at least one pack of cigarettes a day were 15 times as likely to develop panic disorders during early adulthood when compared with nonsmokers, according to their research.


So , I am not defending the smoking itself ! coz I know, You know how dangerous it is ! but why are you attackin smoking women and you do nt to smoking men !

Women smoke now, out of pressure as men do..out of something they find a relief on ..whatever the reason they do for , it is not a thing they have to defend !! and not a thing you take against them ! not anymore ! maybe before , in old days , when it was so rare to do..but now with that growing number in smoking women ! I think you have no ground to stand on to claim you cause !

Visit this to know how Camel targets women..even in media , moviez and ADs now, are always displaying hunks and babes smoking...so it is like , if you want to be a hunk ? and you to be a babe? you got to be smoking Hun..
Even , around the places you hang around , you will find the pretty , stylish , classy ...you count...women / girls are smoking....and you will find the so many ladies cigarettes in diff colors and flavors..so it is not for the Garbage !!

Yet , I am not defending SMOKING..at all...SMOKING KILLs..It does
if it doesnot kill at once, it causes harm that you suffer for whole living , and in so manytimes one can not afford the injuries it leaves behind..
So , again and again..I am against smoking , and against passive smoking which we all do..
I am with that campaign of preventing smoking..at least in public spaces..we need clean areas,fresh air..

Here , some facts sheet ..it is quite old, and sure numbers grew faster that any can imagine..yet it shows that there had been always a percentage for smoking women..and it was only in 2001..I bet if they do it now, they will get scared by the fact that maybe women are larger in numbers than men?

For who lives in Egypt, s/he will be familliar with the new labels they stick to the cig packs..you can check them here.It is like anti smoking campaign, and I doubt if it reached its target, as all were mocking at the guy's picture there ! and even some claimed that he is in a good health and he got paid a BIG number to do that AD ! Rumors..but anyway , I have not seen any effect of those labels..not even the least .!

Back to the smoking women , and the fact that they are everywhere .. why some are real open minded about it ? some still in the narrow phase ?
if it is harmful ! it is for both ! man and woman..
if it is killing ! it is for both ! man and woman ..
if it is 3eib ! it should be for both ! man and woman ...
if it calms down a man , it does too to a woman...

You know , I might be okay with those who claim they are against it all way long...but I hate those who Pretend that they are cool about it ! and they even share the cigarettes with them ..however they are just not like it !...and they call girls with names coz they do smoke !

Well..It is your right to take it your way ..and it is others' right too to do it their own way.
and we are not to judge any's actions...and whether a girl smokes or not , it doesnot make her anyone good or bad till you speak with her and really get to know her...look beyond and no more old clishe-s....
Whoever .....Stop Smoking for better health.
I heard about some AD ,which I think the idea of it, is really inspiring...it says :
"Quit smoking...Enjoy the Kiss"

He is just not that into You !!

Girl , Have you ever faced yourself with the fact " he is not that into you " ?! Were you ever brave enough to step back coz he is not that into you ?? Can you really tell when he is not that into you !!
I know...too much not into you to strike you, hope it do Friend.
I once heard about that book in Oprah 's show , she was talking about the book , and how good it is , and kept advising every woman in the show to have it..Though at that time I thought how trivial the idea is , and thought to myself how it is always clear enough for a girl to see when he is not that into her ! and no needs for books for that! who reads'em anyway !!

Days went by , and I was at a library buying some books , I had a firend of mine with me there, and all of asudden , she asked the shop guy about that book ! I was like , No way !! why would one need sucha book !! we all know what it is all about ! and no needs for such books ! she kinda got convinced and did not buy the book.

Months later :) I was at the same library , and found the book like calling for my name ! I m sure kidding , but it was infront of me again , with a bestselling tag hanging on it..so out of curiosity , I grabbed the book to JUST see, what the fuss is all about !
I found it more like a manual, tips..so damn things you know and you keep on ignoring...stories you hear everyday. excuses you got used to, un-answered phone calls...lots of things you know , I know..everyone knows..yet we go on ignoring.
what surprised me that day That I baught the book , I was in a need for reading, and just to read a not so deep book , just a light one you know..so for me that was like the catch.
I baught the book , and though I was against buyin it at first , I found out that it is really cool..as it collects all ideas and excuses in few pages to read...

What really amazed me more about the book, that Man is Man..wherever he is ! whatever his color! religion ! Identity ! whether he is Civilized, Cultured or not ! well educated ! lives in the US..Egypt or even in Coalalampour!
whatever his tangue ! whatsoever really !!!
same excuses everywhere !! same techniques !! same tactics to run away !! same attitude !
God, it isnot our egy guys then ! it is smth international :)

The reason I am writing about it today really , that I got biased by one of my friend's stories, and I really wanted to lend her the book ! and I was like repeatin the word each two minutes! he is not that into you ! he is just not ! can't you see it ! he is not !!
Though it's clear enough , and always seen by everyone but the girl into it ! who refuses to see it !

The book stated all means and ways, which tell that the guy is not interested in the girl...he gave all the ABCs..and as I mentioned earlier, usually it is known and seen " and there is no need for the book "..but the book states them as facts , and puts them infront of you..maybe they can awaken some girlz from their deep sleep!

Excuses, excuses...; was at mom's place and couldnot pick up ! , had lots of work! got stuck in traffic !..can't make it sorry!...I will call you back , and he never do!..he doesnot do the slightest effort ! he doesnt do the big things either ! so why are you hanging on him !! that what really shocks me ! are we girlz desperate to that extent that we let ourselves stick to some losers who are not even interested !!

and as the book said, men can go to the Moon, do the hardest and strangest things ever..yet they can never pull themselves out of a relationship in away we expect ! or even respect !..few ones who have the courage to face it and say they are not interested..." though I know how hurtful it is for a girl, when she hears it herself"..the other trend, is givin excuses..and you smarty should get it , he is not into you !
yet, the more he plays around , the more you give him excuses...the more you persuade yourself that he will be back for you coz sure he is interested in you !!
I really wonder , why a girl would hold on someone who doesnot hv interest in her ?! some think that they are able to make him interested later ! actually that kind,kinda make me sick !
I am sorry ! but it is all about that girl feels desired ! he is playing hard to get YOU ! that he do all efforts to please YOU ! You Girly, not the other way around !!

Dear Friend, I know you not of that type,you canot be one,BUT , he is not that into you !
it is harsh ! I know..but you shouldnot be decieving yourself anymore ! stop giving him excuses ! stop answering Your calls !! you call him zillionz of times while he do only once in return !!
he is surrounded by your missed calls and sms's ! and you are checking your phone each two seconds hoping he will call ! and he never do !
you think he will show up ! and he is never there !
you try to be there for him , whenever you can , in all occassions...and he is sick of that ! coz you are too available ! you not even giving him a chance to be missed !
you do all what you can to let him see you , and he does all he can to erase you from his phonebook !
he never gave you any promises ! not that he smiled at you once ! went out with you twice ! had a chit chat with you for a couple of times...that doesnt mean that he is into you !!!!!

Friend, Give yourself a break , get yourself busy with something else ! not SomeOne else !!!Ha!

Once, a close friend of mine told me smth I always recall, if the guy is interested you dont hv to do anything , at all...coz he will be doing all stuff..and all shit too to get you...even if you are givin him hard time...he will still do.
and if he is just not interested , he will step back, and just disappear!..not giving any explanation , and we girlz spend our whole lives lookin for explanations ! and talkin about it !
Guys dont care about explanations as we do !! they just disappear !
and your guy just did so ! so hold on , walk on....you hv a life ahead.
and admit it that you can go on , he is not into you as you not into so many guys ! this is life !!
you into someone who is not into you ! and some one into you whom doesnt even attract you !
accept it.admit it...stop lookin for explanations..stop givin excuses..stop it please
Read the book..it might help
I ever wonder if guyz go into that dilemma as we girlz do !! do they care if we are interested into them as much as we do ! do they sit with their best firends for hours at someone's place talking about it? and soemtimes on the phone with them for hours too !! just to think loudly with a friend if a girl is into him !! Do they !!
or its only Girlz stuff:)
I wish that they do too ! I wish :)

iBangle The new iPod .

Amazing ! ...wait to hear and see yet , it becomes more like a jewelry, yet not as expensive as ! thats what Apple says .
you will not have to place it on your arm , you will do it on your wrist , and the Earphones will be wireless!.Wow, the common head/ear-phones were always a trouble while joggin!! ..really impressive that they thought baout that too !!
you will control your music and all on this grey area "trackpad " on that looking good bracelet . I really canot ask for more !!
it looks so way good ! so much air as they call it " it is full of AIR " ..hope it will not be expensive though.
I wish I have it oneday :)
for more pics visit this.

Rim Banna ..A voice coming from Palestine

I am glad that I got introduced to that great voice ..Am grateful to that friend who gave me the chance to listen to that great lyrics composed and arranged in so beautiful tunes.

Rim Banna , I only got to know about her weeks back , when I knew about her performing for first time here in Cairo.I marked my calendar and wanted to make sure I reserve my seet there!

Though I was really not sure if I ever heard anything for her before ! but when I got to search about her , I really got amazed..you can visit her page too on the facebbok to see.

Days went by , and I missed the concert , and couldnt make it , but I was lucky enough to have some of her MP3z on my PC " given by that friend too " , And I am listening to her now , she is really inspiring ..the lyrics are telling alot, in fact that friend who attended the concert told me that each song has a story beneath ..and a story I should listen to , to know how the song is really telling the truth , I am arranging to know those stories soon , and I will try to share them with you too.

Some will find the songs are biased by wars , Palestine, however I saw them telling more than that....You need to listen to the lyrics with closed eyes and open heart..

there is that quote of hers: " I would give half my life to whoever makes a child smiles to replace his cries..." it echoes all the time with me...I wish if world's leaders listen to her too and try to replace those tears running there in Palestine and everywhere else burnin' in wars fire.

I wanted to share some info about Rim Banna , I got them from her page.

...............

Website:
http://www.rimbanna.com/
Current Location:
Palestine

Influences:
Rim Banna’s songs are inspired by the Palestinian people’s conscience and sentiments, from their culture, their history and their folklore. She brings it forth from the desert rhythm in the south, from the long lived song of the sea that spread all over the Palestinian sea shore, from the inspiration of the charming nature and its colors from the meadows and plains, from the returning echo that roams between mountains and valleys, from the sounds of The Ancient Canaanite Hymns, which accompanied streams of sweet waters in its swing among rocks and over small white stones, from the chirping of the sparrows and the garden nightingales, who never emigrate, such as the blessed olive tree, the resisting cactus on the borders of the orchards, and the holy grape tree that spread all over the hills of the Palestinian land. Rim Banna also presents the modern Palestinian Arabic song, which has been received with enthusiasm from the Arab world and the International community. Her songs are categorized as a post modern and highly appreciated Arabic song that promises a bright future for the Arabic song in The Arab World and at the international level. This relates to the song, its tunes and music, and performance.Rim creating an exciting concert, with a message of hope, dignity and freedom for the Palestinian people.

Rim has 10 albums:

1. “Jafra” 19852. “Your tears, Mother” 19863. “The Dream” 19934. “New Moon” (an album for children) 19955. “Mukaghat” (an album for children) 19966. “Al Quds Everlasting” 20027. “Krybberom” Rim Banna & SKRUK (Norwegian choir) a Christmas album. 20038. “The mirrors of my soul” 2005, produced by the Norwegian producer Erik Hillestad, and distributed internationally, it is a brilliant production, on the halfway between jazz and soft-pop with Arab music. The album dedicated to all the Palestinian and the Arab political detainees in the Israeli prisons9. “This was not my story” 2006, Rim Banna & Henrik Koitz (a Danish composer), the album dedicated to the Palestinian and Lebanese people.10. “Seasons of Violet”-Love songs from Palestine 2007, by the Norwegian producer Erik Hillestad.

Rim Banna representing Palestine in the International Festivals in Europe and Arab countries:Italy, France, Portugal, Spain, Jordan, Russia, Morocco, Norway, Switzerland, Egypt, Denmark, Turkey, Sweden, Romania, Czechoslovakia, Austria, Kazakhstan, Germany, Tunis, India, Finland, Greece and Brussels.

.......................................

I wish I did not miss that concert , I wish she comes back for another and I dont miss it that time...

with all love to Palestine and its People .

Dear Friend..I am sorry ...

Dear Friend

I am sorry if I disappointed you , I am sorry If I was not there for you when you needed me.
I am sorry , I know I had my reasons why I was not there , but I know no enough reasons justifying though ! I know I tried to ! But you didnt listen though !
I know I am busy and got much busier ! I know I should hv hd time for you.
I tried to make it up to you , yet it is like you are refusing it..You are just rejecting me whenever I try ! I am afaid I Lose hope and hence lose you !
I am keen to keep you close..am keen to hv you in my life , and I am sorry I was not there.
I know what you are passing through..I know how hard it feels , how bad it goes , how far I was !
I am sorry again..Hope my appology finds a place to you..Hope I can make it up to you.
I am sorry again.

They just broke up ??!!..she is back single

I do not really know the couple , I do not even know them personally , I know the girl , sort of know her, she is a libra , she is well determined , she knows what she is seeking for , she thinks of marriage and relationships as mush as i do ..she is looking for love ...without settling for less.

she canot accept betrayals..and I canot either !...she is looking for Mr Right as much as myself ! ..she believed in Soulmates and serendipity and I did too ! in fact I still do !

She thought all her demands can be really fulfilled and I think the same.

She loves to give and hopes to take in return , and she hates being taken for granted...I am too !

she is well educated , I wouldnot say an average girl..above average , with special features , I would call her attractive , intelligent , has a good career , well established , stylish , independent , has brains ...and she is really sensetive.

It all started , when I first noticed her in my newsfeed on Facebook , when her status at first changed to be in a relationship..and all ppl started to congratulate her on that as if it was a hit in news..at that time I really wondered about that option , which is holding your marital / relationship status in facebook ! Do you think we should be revealing it ?or hiding it ? letting everybody knows about it ? especially if it is still a start of a relationship..its not marraige yet ! ..should I be telling my status on facebook ? should I reveal it or hide it really ?! should everybody be aware of it and comment on it moreover !! should my personal life be smth published in everyone's homepage in his NewsFeed !!

I wondered back then , and I really did not reach out anything..nor got if which case would be best..however I followed the congrats coming from everybody and all wishing good luck.

And Tonight , I just got the breakup news in my newsfeed again..

She broke up with whoever is , and she returned back to single !! and once again , all who sent their wishes are sending their support msgs this time !..and again and again

I am wondering ! shall it be smth revealed like this ! shall it be in everyones newsfeed!

should it be a thing everyone can comment on !

however I felt like msging the girl..I really sent her a msg , expressing my feelings towards that status and for sure giving her some support..not coz I wanted to do like all did ! at all..

coz the girl was like some inspiring flame for me, and I really wanted to be there for her ! though we dont know each in person ! yet I wanted to be there for her.

and I will not deny it..I am afraid..yes afraid of breakups ,not coz I think of it , at all !...

but i never been through it , and I really wish I never ever ever, and zillionz of ever again , wish I would never go through it..Ever ya rab...yet when I come to think of it I see i can not survive it myself ! how bad, terrifying..it is like a scary thing for me...not coz I hate to go back to single , i sure do hate to go back there, who wants to live alone although he already found his soulmate !

but the idea of breaking up ! of letting go of one you always loved .....of letting go of some part of you !! letting go of a very special part of you !! could anyone handle this !

I know i might be exgagerating the thing coz i was never there , and i wish i never go there.

yet i know that ppl survive , some at least do , and i know some couldnot ! and still live in the OLD !they canot let the past go !! they do not ! they refused to go on ! they are standing still ! awaiting for what ?! I hv no clue !

I have once seen the breakup movie , by Jennifer Aniston, that was a good movie for me and a sad one thouogh.. coz they didnt get back together as they always do in arabic movies..they lived theirlives instead and walked and moved on...

I hope that ppl who breakup that really can go on and move forward ...

But I can not stop thinking why ppl break up ! though I know a millions of reasons ! i am still in denial ! i know that they could both hv found out that they are not matching for each ! both are looking for a different one ! i know that he could hv been cheating on her back ..Men always do !

i know that he could hv turned out to be someone other than the one she really luved !

he maybe was acting all this long and he is not himself !

maybe he is giving her disrespect ! maybe he is afraid of her independence ! her career ?!! her ideas !

maybe Man is always looking for the woman he can have uppper hand on ,,and if he feels equity he gets afraid..and steps back

Maybe He did nt like her looks

Maybe she did not like his clothes

Maybe they both were deceiving each ! not intentionally ! but they were both tryin to show best of each !

Maybe he was too cool ! maybe he was too jealous !

maybe she was too !

lots of Maybe's here !! which you can survive with ! which yu see as I can not settle for less ! which you can live with !! which you would break up for !!

what qualities you think we can live with , what we can work on ? what is the evidence that this relationship will work out ?

I saw lots of couples are just letting it grow coz they are just too afraid to breakup!

which is better to go on sucha relationship or to breakup ?

I can not deny it , it all started with that girl changing her status on Facebook , and ended up with millions of quetsions in head puzzling me !

Burn it after Reading...is it a real movie ?? I wonder!!

That is a really bad one ! I wonder still if that was a movie in the first place !

A movie for the two I most like ..and love watching, Brad Pitt and George Clooney...and the two really disappointed me..I canot even recall what was the ending of the movie ? coz it unexpectedly ended !! without giving you any details or even briefs !

I can give you the plot extracted from : yallabina.com

"Burn After Reading, a comedy thriller from Joel Coen and Ethan Coen (No Country for Old Men, Fargo, The Big Lebowski), is world-premiering as the opening-night film of the 2008 Venice International Film Festival.At the headquarters of the Central Intelligence Agency in Arlington, Va., analyst Osborne Cox (John Malkovich) arrives for a top-secret meeting. Unfortunately for Cox, the secret is soon out: he is being ousted. Cox does not take the news particularly well and returns to his Georgetown home to work on his memoirs and his drinking, not necessarily in that order. His wife Katie (Tilda Swinton) is dismayed, though not particularly surprised; she is already well into an illicit affair with Harry Pfarrer (George Clooney), a married federal marshal, and sets about making plans to leave Cox for Harry.Elsewhere in the Washington, D.C. suburbs, and seemingly worlds apart, Hardbodies Fitness Centers employee Linda Litzke (Frances McDormand) can barely concentrate on her work. She is consumed with her life plan for extensive cosmetic surgery, and confides her mission to can-do colleague Chad Feldheimer (Brad Pitt). Linda is all but oblivious to the fact that the gym's manager Ted Treffon (Richard Jenkins) pines for her even as she arranges dates via the Internet with other men.When a computer disc containing material for the CIA analyst's memoirs accidentally falls into the hands of Linda and Chad, the duo are intent on exploiting their find. As Ted frets, "No good can come of this," events spiral out of everyone's and anyone's control, in a cascading series of darkly hilarious encounters."
From the movie's official website: http://www.burnafterreading.com--live.com/
Fast Facts

Production Year : 2008
Duration Time : 95 min
Language : English
Genres:Comedy , Crime , Thriller .
Starring:
George Clooney , Brad Pitt , Frances McDormand .
Director :Joel Coen ,
Director :Ethan Coen .

Many Thanks to Noha Roshdy..First girl standing against sexual harassment

I just heard about that girl 2 days back ,when I got the link to some newspaper spreading the news via Facebook..At first I was like in denial and thought it could be some news the publisher is using to increase his selling , specially the link was to a some kind of new Newspaper...But As soon as I started reading the news I found out that it is for real , and the interview and It is all real !!

I can not deny it ! I was shocked at first..not coz of the harassment the girl faced ! at all ! as this is turning out to be so common here now..its like the thing everyone is talking about now since the last feast actions and what happened in one of the biggest streets here in town.

Back to Noha, I was kinda shocked coz maybe she is brave enough to stand against it , to stop the guy , to pull him out of his car and grab him to the police station !..briefly thats what happend, a truck driver tried to touch to the girl's body and he even caused her to fall down, and the girl didnt escape and run as anyone would do in her shoes, instead she ran after him , stopped him and pulled him off his car and went to the police station and wrote a statement against him !!

I was like so many saying" eih el-bahdala dee"! as we all raised upon..that girl canot be putting herself in such situations , as she will be losing by the end and " el bent eih gheir som3etha "! rumors and all will be around her ,and ppl will think by the end that its always the girls fault !! First thing they try to do, blame it always on the girl ! either coz of her clothes or maybe whatever about her! and they never blame it on the guy !!!..so girls should always keep silent and never talk about such jerks and what they do in the streets all day !! Coz its their mistake by the end !!...Even Noha, when she faced that jerk , ppl there at that situation were shocked and tried to convince her to change her mind as she will be causing herself more trouble by getting herself into this !! But the girl stood on her decision..and didnt lean to any...

After i passed through the shocking mode, as everyone, i was like feeling pitty for her , and for the trouble she will go through ,especially she yet will go to the courts..and all the media will be talking about her..but just minutes later , you start getting how brave that girl is ! she is only 26 and she is brave enough to take such an action ! I am really proud of her...I really am...I am even feeling like I want to give her a call and support her ! Thats why I thought of writing this now..To tell her: Noha...Thanks a million , we all are proud of you ..You did teh right thing and I wish we all women / girls can stand for our rights as you did, I really wish..Hope you were the turning point to so many..hope you were the inspiring flame to all women.

And today the girl stood in court , to witness her case reaching out to all worlds..and Yes, she won the case , the guy was accused and punished with 3 yrz in jail " I would give him more..to stop anyone who ever think it is that easy to touch some girl's /woman's body "....and also he has to pay 5000 egy pounds..I would say the punishement is not enough...but it is a success that we finally find one standing for this case and having a good judgement on it , that could prevent many from approaching any girl / woman down there in streets.

Noha, we all women and girls Owe you alottt..we all do; for your guts ..I am really proud of you, I think this is how we all women feel for you..we appreciate what you did; not only for yourself but for every woman and girl outhere...Noha , we are grateful for you..And again and again Thank you.

God bless You.

P.S : if you interested to read that interview, go to that link.

Happy Birthday To you 3mry :)

I know I know..my blog started to go some way other than I started with ...But I need to say it out ..yea,and I promise you I will stop talkin bout me personal stuff here,, at least for a decent while :)
So, I will chase it now and say it to my Soulmate...Happy birthday to you :)
wish you love , happiness and peace of mind :)
may all your dreams come true ...n sure those dreams include me ;)
Love you 3mry..from the bottom of my heart :)
And now...here is the song :)
happy birthday to you...chachaa chhaaa
happy birthday to you....cha cha chhhaaa
happy birthday to you , happy birthdya to you...chachaa chaaa
sana 7elwa ya gameel...sana 7elwa ya gameeel...sana 7elwa ya KOKO ;) sana 7elwa ya gameeel
chacha chaaa:) pffffffffffffffffff...
yalla wish a wish :D
Happy birthday to you ya beeby
love you
:X

I Had the best birthday Ever....Thanks to 3mry...P.S : I L O V E U

I am lacking words ,phrases or even letters which can describe how do i feel now...but All i know that I am deeply madly in love with you..

You are my everything

and yes you are too good to be true

and I wish I spend my lifetime loving you :)

I had my birthday today ...I had a so special day ..in Everything..a day I will always remember , and memories I will always cherish

I am speechless Really ! I can't even tell how I do feel now, all I know that I pray we get married soon .

Thank you for bringing up the issue tonight..that was really moving :)..I told you I love you !! I really do :)

words donot come easily ! and they r not even close to what I feel..but guess and hope that msg is delivered :) I feel that it is :)

Love you again n again n more over again

rabenna yekhaleeek leyya ya rab " god saves you for me ONLY :) "..

thank you babe..thank you for everything you do ...thank youu

love you 3mry :)

I am Back ....with some OLD post.

Quite Hard...to start typing in here..I quit like months back , and the reason was You , and I ever wondered how come you never talked about it again ! you never even mentioned it ! you never thought of askin really ?!..maybe coz you were the reason I quit , you again the reason I am back,canot tell really if I am back..I am writing this , and not so sure if the backspace will find its place here or even the delete button.and at most i would save it and thats it..i really donno..but here used to feel like home too for me, some outlet ..though i already went to my paper and i exploded there once , yet i dont mind coming here too and write it over..dont know why i am over here now ! maybe deep inside I want to reach you and I hope that you still check on this !! maybe i know you someday will be readin this so my feelings n thoughts will be heard out someday ! even if not by you , it will by someother one ! i donno ! but i know that i am here coz i need someone to listen...yes, as I said , I already wrote it down in some external paper, am not repetain myself here either ! amnot copyin wat i wrote there ! at all..i just mean the explosion hs already occured somewhere else..so the need of writing hs already been satisfied, so bein here means still I am lacking listening..sb listens to me , and yes I wish it was You.



Yes, I asked for a break , first time to do so I guess, even if we sometimes make fun of the idea, and hv jokes related, but this time I wanted a break, btw I really wanted to hear you sayin No, why so ? darling I luv you ..whats wrong ! calm down, we just need to talk...actually this is wat i wanted to hear from you , thats what my receivers were tuned to , but The sender actually only sent "bera7tek "...as you wish ...the worst choice ever...Ever..and I do mean it..Ever.

I told you before, so many times..over and over..that you won and still do to my heart by being kind to it..by being nice to me..especially when we fight, I am not asking for much ! especially i asked you to avoid using the word " bera7tek "..i did just few days back , i do everytime ask you not to be that cool and leave me with days not mentioning a word about it,,yes you call and we talk for minutes,askin bout the weather for me ! and yu hang up ! whats the use of that fonecall ! i see no use ! coz you know how it goes with me...the bad temper i am in , you hv no clue how crazy and mad yu drive me , yu hv no clue hw far i go with the bad ideas,how black i see then ,how ugly everything looks to me !! how bad i really feel ! physically , mentally and all..i really feel like like losin breath and high blood pressure..feel pain...you know i might be hysterical in this ! but what i can do if this is me and this how it reacts !! i tried to work on it ..i tried to cool myself down, i give you the space,,but still you never show up and talk in it..even today you didnt talk in it !

you appear but dont talk !! you talk in nonesense for me !..though you should talk and talk ! i even mentioned that before..also like 5 days back, in our last fight..i asked you to talk, unless you really enjoy seein me in this state !! and if you do enjoy it ..then you not the one I luved.

how come you leave me like this and you know how hard it is for me ! you know how bad i feel ? you know how bad i feel ! you know it all, still you tak all your time , which appears for me has no ending ! it takes you 3 times without sayin anything, and it ends up me openin up the subject again ! sorry am always brining the"nakad"...am sorry i do...i am sorry that you find me so, am sorry that you dont know me through , am sorry that you do make it harsh on me..I feel like you will see me fainting / dyin at once..anything that would happen in one of those i fights that i feel they get into me strongly...it will affect me in away..i feel so , and tried to deliver the msg , and i thought you got it,,but seems you still not looking to react upon, you want to take your time..which i hv no clue when it ends ! i wait for you each time for you to come over and talk about it ! and guess what ! you never do ! you never Do !! it is me who everytime goes in opening the subject and talk about it...yea i remember you gave me the chance once, and then you stopped !!....

I didnt ask for much when I asked you how to deal with me when I am down or in a fight , you said you cant be always understaning but the thing is I never see you so ! not anymore !! as if you intend to show me that face ! as if you enjoy seein me in that state again..

I know you donot,,but still you dont do anything !! i am goin insane..i am not sleepin ,,i feel real pain...

thats why i asked for the break, i needed you to say teh things i said above , but as you were and still are, you said bera7tek..which was more shocking for me...you might hv said ommal eih hamsek feeky !! yes temsek feeya ! why not !! did not i do it before !! whenevr you r angry with me i do so,, i even try to bypass the bad things you soemtimes say / do !! I try to be understanding as much as i can ! but you never show me that face !

i never take 3 days to start a talk ...but you take more ! i dont know even how far it could take you coz its me everytime initain the talk..

i told you before i might stop at sometime and stop being there when you feel like it ! i may do an uxpected stuff...coz i do feel i do stuff just for you , i go off my way for you, i do things i am not convinced with just coz of you ,to please you..and you just cant do it for me !! am i askin for much !! specially i told you zillionz of times how i do need it....

you not listening !! are you !!

am sorry though for the break ,am thinkin since to call you , but i know i can not....ana ta3bana..i am...we te3ebt awy of the way you deal with me each fight..

i donno how long or how far it will take me ..i really donno , at a minute i think i ll call you now and in another i feel i ll give it soemtime,a week and maybe two, though i doubt i can stand it withut you..you hv no clue how much i do luv you , and as much as i do as hurt i feel now, that this is how you deal with me and this is how you take it..i told you too, dont take me for granted..i asked you more than once not to take me for granted..i luved you and still do, and luved how nice and kind you always were to me and for me, you used to pay wat it pays to bring happiness to me, you wouldnt stand seein my cryin..you couldnt let me feel sad ! and now you cause it to me every once inawhile , you do it alott and dont care bout me..you know how it does hurt when i see you bein super cool and me sad and depressed ! It hurts...though the key is already proposed..just a few nice words and maybe less could make me feel just the opposite....



ana te3ebt..bgd te3bt

i ll go now, might call you..might go on the break..might do nothing..i wish you call

i wish you fix it..i wish i find the one i used to luv..and i still luv

i wish i find you.

_____________________________

Author's note:
##############

That Story happened like 2 weeks back, and Yes , I called him just after , couldnot wait long , couldnot go for the break....I did the thing and called him , we then talked it out and guess we solved it down :) The reason am posting it today and choosing it to be me return post , is : this is one post I really wanted you to see maybe..I wanted you to know how it feels with me..I am posting it for the records, that maybe when we in bad terms you check it out and Know then how bad i feel then...hope itsnot causing bad memories, as we already passed it..alright :)
Love you babe

I watched a movie for U--Hancock ---

Na3am !!! ...this is the expression you most likely will feel after the movie ends :)..it is influenced by El-lemby the guy who affected badly boyz vocabulary ,hence affectin mine :)) thank god I only use the Na3am ! nothin else :)

anywayz..back to the movie..well, its hard to say ,,i didnt like it I know...neither I did ! msh 3arfa ! I know I am done with super heros movies and that kind of action...doneeee...so I didnt expect to see will smith doin stuff more than superman do..I didnt like...the drama line was about to do it to me but finally it didnot convince me by anymeans...

Will Smith is a good actor I believe, esp after the moviez Hitch and Pursuit of happiness...yet that ONe,I am sorry I didnt like ...I only liked few things about it ! which I cant even recall now !! godd..i just saw the movie...errrrrrrr

even for charlize theron,I didnt like her...I luv her in short hair anyway :):)!!..

well, a movie that wasnt that harmful ..not a waste of time if you still into super heroes movies...it is not that bad ! is it ??

The Bucket List...worth seeing..

I know I know , I am so talkative tonight..Promise You last thing and then I ll dig in bed..well ,it is about the Bucket List..that movie I missed in theatres but had a chance to see it recently...
It is a so good movie...I love Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson...both are brilliant...they way are..and that movie is not a so complicated movie that you might think when you see both names..on the contrary it is a light movie with deeper meaning and a msg that it will leave in you...You will be entertained with both acting..you will laugh ,cry and think.
The idea of bucket list which the movie's name came from is:based on some philosopher's saying that you need to write down all your wish-to-do list before you die.
so the bucket list is typically that wish list...
in the movie, they both set a list of wishes..which myself found many in common ..I wish I do sky diving someday..I wish I go to the jungles in Africa...Kineya maybe...woww..
I wish I hv a Tatto "Just cant..forbidden"....wish I laugh till I cry >>Thank God I sometimes Do.
and I sure would like to add : I wish I visit Bahamas...I wish I go for Pilgrimage too..I wish I have my own place with a Dog and swimming Pool...I wish I can go car racing ....I wish I can help ppl though they didnt ask me to....I wish I climb a mountain too " not saint -Caterine...coz this is not climbin".....I wish I can buy red Dodge Ram "truck"

and a mini cooper too...I wish I hv my own business too...I wish I hv a bookstore / flower shop / a bakery ....I wish I hv my own Beach...I wish I hv a yacht... i wish i hv a farm with horses..mmmmmmmm
I wish :)

SteakOut...a place worth a visit

Though it is so much Spectra alike...yet I found it a good place for food...
You will be amazed minute you step in ,coz you will think its a joke and its another Spectra " one of the well known restaurants over Cairo..for its menu and the affordable prices"...so same thing too for steak out..and dont be misleaded with the streak..coz the menu has it all ,steak ,chicken ,seafood..whatsoever..I told you its a so spectra...
In everything it is..the menu again n again , the decoration and interior ..what can I say "ALL"...but the toilets are not the same,,I can say that the toilet is cool..It has everything inc seats'covers " plastic covers used for the seat instead of usin tissues...yucky I know :) ...but it is cool that they hv it there..the toilet is well designed and equiped too ;)
I iked the place ...and whats more I loved THE FOOD...was so good..mmm yummmiii..
and yeah , I just recalled one more thing it has in common with Spectra..the waiting list :) but its not that long as that other one..so you d better give it a visit before you hv to wait for an hr min before you can get in.
Way to go Steak Out :)

It Only Happens when You least expect it ! vs. the Secret

True...good things only happen when You least expect them to ....at least this is how I see it ..."sometimes ".....coz for sure there are times when you really want smth and it does to happen..but generally I see this rule works and works fine for quite ppl I do know.

When I think of it closely , I really wonder coz for instance it is the opposite to the idea of The secret "..the well known book " which talks about how if you want smth badly and truly..and you believe in it ..you will transfer this energy to the universe..and whole Universe will do it for you and hv it done..and it all depends on your belief..you hv to believe it in it enough...the book even gave you a practical example ; you are lookin for a parkin space for your car, so all you hv to do is.. you visualize it and imagine how it will be and You will just find it.right there as you imagined it to be..I tried it more than once, and I cant deny that it worked for few times..and I just called it Luck though ...."....so The idea of the book is kinda opposite to my theory which is happenin most of time...

I try always to rely everything on facts and basics..so for the " secret" Idea,I always believe we have to think of it other way around, that we pray and ask GOD to have it come true..and it comes true from GOD ..and the universe is just a reason for havin it come true..but it would never if GOD didnt let it happen..so we ask Allah..and we pray to hv it true...and we gotta be havin Yaqueen which is true faith in Allah that he will be only doin the good for us... Only we get it if it comes along with what we were lookin for in 1st place,,,and we never get it if it just never happens ! or even been delayed....we gotta be believers in both..either it happens and comes true or not..we gotta be believin that its Gods will ..not anything else..

but what I like about the secret that it gives you that hope, and that power of how a believer can be ,also bein optimistic too...coz the Universe doesnot get the NOT..if you say i will not do it..it will see "will do it excludin the NOT.

away from the secret and back to that proverb /saying whatsoever....I still see it valid ,,I cant recall how many times I was lookin for things to happen or to buy/ to get "way badly " and I never got them...and later on...which soemtimes goes for Years and decades it just Happens !

I still believe it is all Good and kheir for me...whatever...whenever...wherever..

How about you ?

how do you find that ?

P.S : The Book as everything has been transfered to a movie , it is not yet in theatres..but here is a link for the movie.

After Dark Show...

Hey Cairo residents, and whoever listens to radio through the Satellite or even Online ..here is a new show " new for me at least " I recently discovered..it is called , After dark , it is on Nile Fm , 104.2 , and here is a link for it online ...click here and you can listen live...the show is awsome, you cant be missin it...its on air through Sunday to Tuesday at 10 pm to midnight CLT which is 19:00 GMT for 2 hrs...

There is a grp on Facebook for Erin who represents the show...I got you the grp name : " After Dark with Erin "...here is a paste of the show's desc. : "All your favorite slow jams, love requests, love requests and much more. Plus, every Monday night starting at 10pm Erin is joined in studio live by Marwa Rakha author and relationship guru! We will be answering your relationship questions and offering advice on relationships and marriage. E-mail us at AFTERDARK@nileradioproduction.com "....

Seriously ,tune to it once and I bet you will stay tuned...

Enjoy .

Tamer Hosny again..with his new movie,Captain Hima

I am kinda embaressed to say what i am gonna do...hmmmmm...e7emmm...well , i been to tamer hosny's new movie :$..."maksoufa "...and i am gonna shock you now when I tell you that I liked it ! and I actually hd fun !!!...weird ha ! I could hv denied it..i could hv never mentioned it to any ! especially I been to it alone " coz sure i found no body to come along "...no body is interested in such moviez I know..and yeah I am nt supposed too !...but I sometimes find such moviez are really amusing ...am sorry but I liked it...it is nt a movie like you are goin and expectin to see a great movie with plot and whatsoever...nah ,it is just like a video clip more or less...where you see a nice actress for me "Zeina : ..shes cute and she was cute in that one indeed..and Tamer ...ummm am not to talk about him..i hv linked to this post the other i did days back..anyways..I enjoyed it..I amnot afraid to say it..and I will not deny it...ana msh maksoufaa..heh bs..

relieved now :)....

and Please dont start it ,,am not here to crticize..i will not start it..i just enjoyed it !! and I felt I owe him that..I wouldnot say I didnt like his album in public and see his movie in secret!

anyways...you dont hv to go see it...it needs a special mood and....never mind..forget it:)

Is it Okay for a girl to ask a Boy out ??Is it Okay if she is the one to propose ??

It happens...whether me or you with/against it.....But when you really think of it and try to apply it on yourself ! how do you find it ??
For a Girl..how do you find that? askin a boy Out ?? is it okay ?..we all got used to the idea of man playin hard to get YOU,actually i luv it to be that way; him playin the effort ...but whats applied on me not necessarily to be applied on others,so how other girls see it ?!
I hv seen so many girlz askin boys out ..and i hv seen some relations worked out..some been transferred to a friendship , some to dating ..i dont recall any went to further commitement..
You think it ever has any reason to do with the way it started out with ? meaning..that after they both get to know each,,do any still recall who asked whom first ?? does it matter still at that point !!.. what counts then!it should be the real he and the real she ! dont you think ! not who asked whom first !!...
I am here to talk about those who are not playin/foolin around..
I hv seen some that felt that they hv clicked with some , and that some for some reason "maybe shy ...afraid to be rejected...whatever..." so for some reason he is not willing to take the first step,and apparently the girl has the guts to ! so she goes and asks him out..I dont know really how she ll take this if she will ever be answered with NO !! Ouchhh...that hurts ! Big time I guess !!...but if its worth a risk ! dont you think ..they could live their life askin what if !! so better to take the risk !!
Same question is headed for boyz/men ,,how do you find that ....a girl/woman askin you out..am sure you will feel good :) and the selfesteeem we keda:):):)...am sure you will consider the offer anyway..why not !! if shes a chic ,huh ?!:)...but is it leadin anywhere ? or its just for fun ? will you consider it later ? maybe 10 yrs on who asked whom first ? does it count to you ??
Also, same question goes for proposals....we got used to idea that the guy whos the one to propose..what if she proposes ?!!..we can mention a religious remarkable person who has been taken as an example in that...but not to neglect the way she proposed..she didnt go directly!..it was through someone common ,who played it right to make it work out..
However,applied on us now.... when it comes to direct proposals..that she asks him directly ?? would you marry me ?? how do you find that ? for both men and women...for a man is it shocking ?? ..and for a woman..is it okay for you to go for that ??
for me I know I would never do it..I am not against the Idea either ..and when i come to think of it , i see that sometimes ppl miss the chance coz both were lookin for the other to initiate!! which is stupid !! yes stupid ! that you miss smth that could hv meant to be..just coz you are afraid of some traditions or some answer startin with NO...yet,itsnot me,I cant do it myself..Can You ??!!

Tamer Hosny ...Just another Fail.."his new album , 2arrab kaman"

I hesitated before writing this..

Maybe coz I am not the type of girl that would write about " Chamer Hosny " :))

Maybe Coz I found it non worth it ! by all means !

Maybe coz i get amazed each time i see an interview with him on Tv or see how ppl /teenage talk about him !!

maybe coz his songs are always on radio !

maybe coz he sang in my brother's wedding !

maybe coz i still like few songs for him ! and sometimes I catch myself singin to him :))

maybe coz I see his moviez ! I am sorry I do !maybe coz i was never against him even throughout the army thing he been through..I see that everyone hs been judgemental though none has the right to ! and everyone Everyone hs his weakness and his mistakes which I am sure he will be ashamed if they were published to public ! So, the guy had mistaken like so many do !! and if its like your Bro or one of your close relatives you would hv said its okay then to skip the military service ! anyway as I said none is UP to judge coz we all do mistakes.Anyways, away from personal life which I am against anyone gets himself involved in>>this is my general rule... and lookin specifically into his new album I just see it another Fail.I wish if he never released it..The lyrics are way " ay kalam "..yea as always , as otherz,whatever you may say..but this one was way bad..yeaa way in meaning and terms..i just disliked it big time ,music and compositions are like any..nothin new..so boring that you may skip the song before you even get a minute far.I am sorry for You Tamer if this is the King of generation..what a Loss ! for our generation :)) A big loss of whole generation actually if this is the music they like !!I am just afraid I get again someone tellin me...that album is Fantastic :) if you are followin the posts here you ll sure get what i am talkin about ;) wicked me :))..but that album is a hell loss.

P.S : Plz donot get me wrong...if you think this is one of the subjects I wanted to talk about while I was Off here..no WAYyy!!

Speechless....

I know it has been a while since I dropped a line , though it could be normal and okay for some .But for me as I used to write on a daily basis was quite not me.

It is not that I didnot hv something to talk about ! non , its just I wasnt feelin well ..
though I used to write before esp. when I am down , it is like a relief for me, yet this time I didnt feel like writin nor doin anything..
I sometimes go for alternatives but this time I so did not.

I hv so much of ideas floodin in my brains now..wish if i just can let em all out at once..
I will try to soon.
I am listenin now to a song for Jewel it is called Stronger woman in me...its of her new album ..
I feel like sharing its lyrics with you ..I just like and if you into Jewel you gotta check out that album its way nice , I luved too perfectly Clear...Her voice is Osome actually..I always loved that Cranberries girl , Alanis , Jewel ,...
Anywayz , here You go,,stronger woman in me...and if you are lookin for whole album lyrics here is the link ...worth a check.

stronger woman in me
I guess you could say I'm one of those girls that's always been with one of those guys
you know the type
like right now he sleeps while I write
But it's better than crying
warn out from trying
from loving a man who always makes it clear
I am not welcome here Just till he's horny or hungry or needs something clean
you know what I mean But not tonight
Cause come the morning light, oh
I'm gonna love myself More than anyone else
Believe in me Even if someone can't see
The stronger woman in me
I'm gonna be my own best friend
Stick with me till the end
Won't lose myself again
never, no Cause theres a stronger woman a stronger woman in me
light bulbs buzz I get up and head to my drawer wish there was more
I could say
another fairy tale fades to grey
I've lived on hope Just like a child
walking that mile faking that smile
all the while wishing my heart had wings
well tonight I am gonna be
The kind of woman I want my daughter to be
I'm gonna love myself More than anyone else
Believe in me Even if someone can't see
There's a stronger woman in me
Won't lose myself again
never, no.

Coz they played my Fav song on Radio while Drivin I felt way GOOD.....

On my Big drive home yesterday , while I was listenin to Radio "104.2 " As I usually do , the Radio played on one of my fav songs ..it is quite old , it's called , nothing else matters for Metallica...I used to love that One , ..as soon as the music started I just been transfered

to another person ! a total shift in my mood! one of those of 180 degrees !! seriously...
my drive home usually takes me like an hr n half ,,and sometimes it could take more, though theoretically it should not take more than 20 minutes...but coz of the traffic jam ..and the crazy ppl drivin me crazy " this will be one post someday..ppl's drivin ways "...with the summer heat..all of it makes it a perfect combination for a cause to feel bad believe me , i sometimes start my trip while i am feelin cool , and as soon as the traffic gets crazy as soon as i lose my temper and i just become one of the street monsters too ! anywayz, the ONLY thing that really proved that it can get me out of that terrible drivin mood ! is only when the radio plays on my fav music or song !!...though i might hv the song on my mp3 player and it was even on Repeat mode for like whole day.....although it could have been played on for zillions of times !! it could be old enough !! a new hit !I dont really care...I just feel good once its played on Radio !! in less than a sec I put on a big smile on my face , and I start singin to it ,,sometimes i lose control and i just forget that i am in the car stuck in traffic and everybody is checkin me out !!and maybe laughing at me !! the dumb singin in her car !! i sometimes dont give it a s*** ! ..I really feel good then, and feel way good singin it out loud !!.but it is important to kep your windows closed too :)!!!.you know yesterday while listening to that song Nothin else matters , I felt like I am goin high on music ! esp when repeatin the chorus : never cared for what they saaaaaaaaay !! never cared for what they dooooo !! i was like i am singin on stagee,,playin on my guitar " i wished if i can hv one someday" ..it felt way goood, and way stress relieved.....
It is not only about the type of song that could drive you to that mood ! coz I in so many times do for lounge and meditation ,chill out music ! it also helps on keepin you relaxed while drivin !! and also ..my fav ever ,,house music..it drives me nuts :)...It feels way good while cruisin and listenin to Dj Carlos or Roger Sanchez .Tiesto...whatever you go for.. it is really coooooooool...
For me those are the Tips of how to get over the hectic drivin in this town....make sure before you step in your car that you have your music fueled in too with your fav types ,, with a sandwich & Coke,, and bottle of water >life will be great :))..I will talk about this later..about the picnic in your car and how to get used of the time there !! I hv good ideas too.
However, one of the best things still when I listen to Radio and they play my fav songs....Even for the summer spirit , they like always play every summer the song Summer jam ,,and I do love itt,,it just reminds me with Sun n Sea ...That's why whenever they play it I just feel I am lookin fwd to travelling and I hv that summer fever on.
ohh,still echoes :)) Forever trusting who we are And nothing else matters!
Open mind for a different view And nothing else matters!
Never cared for what they say, Never cared for games they play!
chill Out while drivin safely ;)

Do You believe in Friendship btw Man and Woman???

The Question might sound naive at first ...but when You come to think of it or apply it on your life you will be surprised of what you ll see !! and before I just start I might remind you with the famous sitcom" Friends "....You recall how close they were in freinds..and how was it like when everybody was hittin on Rachel ?? and when Monica and chandler started to date ?? and how it went to when Joey started to hit on Rachel too...and before n after they all were FREINDS !!! Do you really believe in that ? and what is the definition of freindship for you ? and how far could it go ?? what are the limits ? and is it okay to hit on your best friend ? why not !!! coz you are freinds !! you are like brother n sister !!! then why yes !! coz he is the only one on earth that understands me !..ohhhh...what a struggle...so You think there is a friendship in 1st place ? Do we call it so coz we failed to go further with it ?? and at anytime there is a possibilty to go further with it ??....what is it really like..am confused !.

lets start it over...at early ages , school ages , I would say it is fine ,and its there..that PURE friendship btw girls and boys..thats why my parents never argued about me playin with boys relatives till i got 7 or 8 ..this is when they started to ban me from doin it anymore !! and started to mention boyz should be freinds to boys and girls are only friends with girls. and specify that frame...and since they never really got the male-female relationship !!!

Some could get into a relationship at that early age ! but I am to talk about the normal thing which comes during the teenage yrz or maybe later..and mayebe NEVER...However, I believe that friendship works for the most of ppl at this early age...coz mainly this is when BOTH are pure and mainly no hidden intentions..
So , up to 14 hmmm maybe more maybe less, can not specify exactly...but up to that age , friendship is there ....but as soon as Girl starts to feel for boys and start to feel herself growin and becomes a woman ..and as soon as Boy starts to feel he is man and starts feelin for girls..here where I think we STOP and the equation holds other factors other than that old pure friendship...

This is when we question : do you still think that they both can still be friends ??

I think if they are still in the teenage phase.where both not lookin for commitement and both not mature enough..and it is like an adveture for them , so i think they might keep their friendship as long as the girl is not feelin for her male friend and same vice versa.. a question pops up again ? why she didnt feel for him in 1st place or he did for her ?? for no chemistry ? coz she was already in luv with someone else ! coz he doesnt want to lose her ?? coz they are like brother and sister !! not quite clear at that age..honestly I cant tell myself coz i never been through it at that age..neither I hd a male friend nor been in luv .!

Ages go further and here we come 20's ,30's ..which is my main concern for this topic now...do you still think that freindship thing still works here !! betweem a man and woman ??
Both at their most peaks...both are lookin for love...commitement maybe..she is always lookin for the one , and he might be playin around or too lookin for his one...so you still think the friendship still works ??

for most of cases I saw myself , it didnot work fine...though it was friendship with no hidden intentions , yet it didnot work..and for so few ones it is workin pretty fine .

Freindship... both mainly do not feel for eachother, they can talk and listen...share ideas..agree on stuff and disagree too...and they two respect each..and they know how to deal with that other as if he / she really is her bestfriend ..they deal as if they are one of same sex with no desire for each..no interest...just friends...

The question is how many are up to have it this way?? with no hidden intentions ?? how they keep it that way ? and how did it reach here ??..

Man and Woman mainly will be lookin for each all time , so maybe when i dont find the ONE at first , I will start lookin for alternatives whom will be Friends ?!? and maybe I find my match and I still hold on to my freinds ? and still gain more?? does it matter who comes first ? the One or Male friends ??...is it okay that you got your ONE and still buildin friends of opposite sex ??
You think that community sees it okay ?? or they will call you cheatin on your spouse's back ?? and why are you still lookin for that close friend of opp sex after you settled in?? Your One should be that close friend.....he/she should be the closest.

What if that was not the case ? meaning...he /she used to have close freinds of opppos. sex all life , and they are truly friends..and that friend could be even married and his wife/ her husband is a friend to him / her...what if they really can make it ?? it is complicated i know ..but in so few cases they can work it out...so should they let go of that close friend just coz he / she of opposite sex??
but you know when i look closely at it ! and think why man is lookin for woman even if he is already in a relationship and maybe married ! i think it could be human nature! that you are always lookin for more! and lookin for friendship ! and maybe lookin to build up relations still with opp sex! !
still i believe we should prevent having those relations at so many times !!, So is nt that bad till cheatin starts to happen !.coz I believe such relations give room for cheating....you re mad with your spouse so you run to that close friend who is there for you n always listenin ..understands you...comforts you..so you might at the verge of breakingdown you start fallin for him though you never did before !! and he was always there even before your spouse exisited!!but remember he is so , coz he is not in a relationship with you..and if he is ! he sure would be someone esle !other than that so overwhelming friend ! so beware of how you see ppl !! and how you see your male /female friends..

I really do not know ! it is so relative..can not be generalised...yet I wish If I can get some Rule to it..and I just know It wont.

But You know, if you have a friend of opp sex and he is just a friend ,and you sure of it , and you got into a relationship with another ,,so three of you should be standin on same grnd and rules..either you start havin 3 of you as friends and always see that friend around your partner and no 3 of you are really cool with it....otherwise this relation will not go on..the friendship or you with the partner...coz you will not be able to hold on to it with both not feeln comfortable around eachother ,there will be someone lost here.

Yet, I still appreciate the friendship concept, and always think it is great having frenz around you , and a bunch of friends not only 1 or two..i love having it mixed...coz this is life,consists of males and females...but to hv a close male friend ! i learned it is hard to do now..it is not lack of male friends or they are not worthy ! non...just coz my partner is not comfortable with it..and he has the right to..and he comes first , not for the title only ,but also for the role he plays in my life....and if he were ever okay with it , I wouldnot take the friendship thing that far ! meaning i would hv kept it up to limits ! and providing that 3rd one is involved in my life in a clear frame for me and my partner...coz i hv seen so many taking it far away beyond that...
And When I come to think of it , and switch places with my partner..I think i ll be jealous enough to let my partner go out and talk on the phone for hrs with his best girlfriend ! though i am sure they are friends,,but it is just human nature too..jealousy...but i would be okay if she is around us as long as i am there...maybe she turns out to be a good friend of mine ! i never know..but i know i wouldnot feel comfortable seeing him spendin hours with her alone !! again n again, i see this is the backdoor for cheating..
and away from one part is involved in a relationship...if both friends are single..i think there will be always a question infront of them ! why dont we try it ? give it a go ?as long as we know how to get along to that extent ! he is the closest person to you and knows all about you and you do too ! and you perfectly match !!!! everybody is askin us why we r not in a serious relationship ! they think we match !!..that question will be after them always as long as they are single..and themselves might consider it."remember Freinds "".and turn the friendship into a relationship and it comes to dating >>which happened in so many cases,, some failed and other worked fine , again no rule>>>..even if they break up , some are able to get back to friendship and others just cant..it is broken already..
ouffff, it is a dilemma ! dont you think..and always a relation between man and woman will be a riddle...and always there will be questions around it...I am not positive of any ! it could work and it could not !! No Clue.

Forza Azzuri ---- Sorry for you :(

I am sorry for the azzuri :((

Forza Italia ....

They lost against the Esp. team to give the lead to Spain to go for semi final in Euro 2008..

for me it was not a great match yet I wanted Italia to win.

Hard Luck.

The worst movie I have seen in ages !! Rayes Omar Harb

It could not get any worse ! coz it is just the worst movie Ever!!..in everything..the story , script , acting , the scenes ...all litterally...This is a movie you regret seein it ..and you just regret it more n more when you think that you added to their figure of viewers !!...those were the most wasted 3 hrs I recently experienced !

If we are to talk about the movie Rayes Omar Harb ,which is in Theatres now, it is an arabic movie.I really can not say anything but how awful it is !..though i was never against the director khaled youssef as so many are...yet that one was horrible ! i just wished i never went for it !!...

I was not expectin to see a great movie ..at least a good one ,..but not that bad to that extent !!

We can not forgive him the weak dialogue between actors , the low quality of scenes esp the fight ones..the plot !! i think he just forgot about it while he was busy in makin love scenes ! which were too many to follow ! was like this movie was made for that ! to show you how ugly our actors and actresses are in bed ! it is awful ! and he just filled the movie with hillarious number of love scenes ! which is not affectin by any means the story >coz there is no story in the first place...the way they talk in that movie just make you laugh , cant forget how that actress Ghada abdel razek was talkin to her daughter when she got back tellin her i am still a girl...yucky...that was one of the worst scenes....

Khaled was like tryin to imitate the movie Devil's advocate from the very beg. of the movie , but he just produced an ugly arabic version of it !! even when he tried to have the devils home as Al Patchino's in devils advocate ! he just made it alike ! he only forgot to put that tableau !!....

and as always for our arabic moviez, directors dont usually care about small part " this is how they see it-small", if the actor is wearin smth n next scene where he was supposed to be wearin same clothes but you find a t-shirt / something missin or added or replaced with to his costume / makeup....same thing happens here throughout the whole movie ! esp with Hany salama's name Tag ! you sometimes find it with Khaled and he turns around to find written khalid !! as if you are watchin the magician khaled sorry khalid !!..

The acting is way baddd..from all parties...even Khaled Saleh,though i used to find him a hero ..but he just failed for choosin this role and playin it...

the actresses Somayya and Ghada are beyond imagination for their badness ! the way they look ! their make up ! dresses ! and acting ...was awful !..

I regret seein it..and i regret and regret ........still regretttttttt.

Do NOt GO!!!! this is a movie worth not watchin !! AVOID Ittt !

Blame it on the Mood Swings !!

I am BLUE ....

I have trouble with my mood swings ! though I eat healthy food , I work out and do sports , I hang out , I work and am good at what i am doing ..I do lots of other hobbies like readin for instance....yet I still suffer from mood swings ! I think it has smth to do with bein a libran..I think so...blame it on the signs of the zodiac then !

Also, part of it is the surrounding enviroenment we live in , the pollution for instance ..everything..the traffic that drives you crazy, for a distance of less than 20 km that it should take approx 2 hrs to get there ! it is hillarious !...even for the work i think i am good at ! yet at somepoint i think i am not well appreciated or even recogonized ! which causes me in so many times depression and dissatisfaction with what i am doin !

You know..I always blame it on the seasons change ! and that it is in its max in spring and fall ! but in fact this is not the truth ! coz i pass through it every other day ! maybe not to that extent ! i do wanna exgagerate ! yet I go through it alottt...and what really annoys me ,that it is like am feeling good and happy now, just few hrs later i cant gurantee that mood am in !!! with no clera explanation in so many times or with existing reason that I ignore in most of times !!

!..that wat always happens ! even when i go for vacation ! as soon as i am back am off mood !!

Ahhh, blame it on the moon then.

yea.. There is some article I been through it which I think is really cool , you might read it if interested..explains the mood swings and ways to help you get over it..check it out...might find it useful...

Though I know part of it relates for bein a woman , yet I wish for no Mood Swings.

Maria Pages ...In Cairo , and I can't Go :(

Maria Pages is a Flamenco Dancer , one of the best really.

She been to Cairo last summer , and I ws lucky enough to find a ticket after all was already sold out..and the show was AMAZINGGGGGGG !!..she is adorable , awesome and all in all is perfect..the performance , the music , the dresses and costumes and moreover was the light effects..

The show for me was kind of experience, one that you see and leaves on you a big smile and stays with you for days..it is not comic yet it makes you happy ! it is amazing ! The music lasts with you for long..the echo of the flamenco..ouffff..i just wished after that night That I woud do it again.

And here she comes..tomorrow ! same place at Cairo opera House and I can not do it :(..

Read This : extracted from the event on facebook >>>

María Pagés will have only one Gala Night at the Cairo Opera House and another at the Great Hall of the Bibliotheca Alexandrina, whose proceedings will go to the National Fund to Fight Virus Hepatitis. Donations for this project can be directed to the Egyptian Liver Care Society

>>>>>>>>>>

Well, I just can't..coz tickets are way expensive , and I respect the idea of collectin funds of sure and as long as this is for a good cause am with.

But ! Do you think a place like the opera which is of capacity 1200 seat per their official site !...will it be full with the proposed ticket prices ! or it could have been wiser , leavin the ticket price it was last year and being sure there will be no empty seat !! which is wise !..I go for second.

Unless this like a private party ! which happens alot..that some community reserves the place , and adjust the pricing to their scale...

anyway , it just echoes and reminds me with another thing happening now, which is euro2008..i already talked about it before, but I am talkin about same idea,,it is only One who is having the broadcast rights , so they do it as they wish ! as long as they are positive ppl will get back to them for it ....I just hate that concept..I Do big time.. , and I am sorry am not seeing Maria's show !..It is clear monopolization !! ..I may give excuse for those are collectin funds but i will never for those who monopolizes soccer broadcast.

About her...I recommend visiting her official site....There you will find many videos of her.

It is also available on the you tube , here is one I like ."Flamenco republic"..

Hope You enjoy it , and Hope I make it next time she comes here ..or may be I am lucky enough to go to Spain someday and watch it there myself ..and if she ever visits You country dont miss it!!! it is worth it.....Hope then tickets will be affordable..

Do Women Reveal their true age ? Or they Just Never Do !

Am I okay with gettin older? in Age ?! Is it okay that I am 28 ?! Do I feel like I missed out smth I should have done ? Do I feel like not sayin my age out ?! Will I ever get to that Point !!

Well, as for the most of women I personally know , they DO NOT reveal their true age ! ..they just hide it , and on the opposite they try to look younger and give a number that way far to their true age. It is like they do not only subscribe 2 to 3 yrz ! nah , some go far beyond that! they do give 10 yrz minus ! Do you believe that ! As if the requester , who ever asked the question , Doesnt have eyes !! And sometimes they just go on this lie till they really end up believin it and they might get into fights with some others if started accusin them that they are lyin about their age" You know women talks "..

And when You think of it , Actually , Women think it is Impoliteness of a guy to ask sucha question ! , and if he was ever given an answer it is always age minus , and he should reply back still : Oh goddd,,no way ,, You look way younger !!

This is what the woman is typically looking to hear..That she looks young , pretty and she is never growin OLD.

It reminds me with our actresses here , when they show on TV , and whenever they talk they do as if they are 20 smth ,max early thirties,,,,though we all know that they are min. early forties if not older !..I have seen that woman when I was 6 yrz and she was like 20..so how come after 20 yrs she still 30 !! I bet they are all bad in Maths !!

But, why does age scares women to that extent ? Are we just scared of the idea of some number bigger than 20 ! we only been taught to stop at 25 and we are not able to count any further !!...whats wrong of you 30 40 50 ..whatsoever !! You really lived that age ! don't you ?? You been here alive for this number ? so what makes you hide it ?? Do men suffer about it too ? Or its only women STUFF??

Why even with makeup You still look in your age , what makes you think that by covering all the shades on your face , and around your eyes then you have the right to be younger than your age..

you may look young in real and you may not, you may look younger after you wear on your make up , but still your age is still same ..have a quick look over your ID and it will tell you .

What annoys me that I come someday to some point that I hate revealin my age ! and I either skip the question or I pretend that I never heard it..or give another age..and after all , we will be sayin this is not a question to be asked !! this is not Etiqette ! You are not Civilized:))

What if you give your real age , and the requester just comments , oh ! you look older ?!!

>>>>>>this is Rude...I admit..

either he says a compliment or just say Nothing..

But why is it always smth important to know someone's age ? why women themselves while sittin around each other , in a gossip gatherin , they enjoy givin other women their real age ! and start mockin at it ! though themselves are not revealing their true age ! way contradicting ! so it is not always a man asking a woman..in so many times its a women game .

For me , I think till this moment and as long as I believe the same I will be always sayin how old I am ..I have nothin against it to hide it,nor to decrease it..this is what I lived , and That what I did and This is where I got to so far. and here what I achieved !

I believe that the problem is not about the Number as much as the status which indicates where you are ! and what you have achieved so far !

Meaning, I think "She" would be happy sayin : Oh , i got married again when I was 60 ! and I even Got a baby born ! here,,it would be smth she flatters with.

She will be happy saying , I got grandchildren and I am still 40....she will be happy then that she got to that stage and shes 40 ! she will be proud of those 40 yrs then .

This is the point, or At least how i see it , what really counts that what you have done in those years ? hence , I think you will be okay with your age..

It is always like you are living the right phase in exact perfect timing...meaning : its okay for me to be 20 and still go to skool , coz everbody is doin it ! but it is not okay if i am 30 and still do !! coz i just went off line ! out of phase ! and missed some stage where my friends and ppl of my age group are already in !! They are having their work now and gettin paid !

I know how this specifically feels, coz I had a yr dropped out at school , and it way annoyed me ,big time actually...and seein my freinds gettin their first jobs and settlin in while I still go to school ! was like the ugliest feeling ever !! I think then You might hate that extra year you lived at school and yu might hate your age coz when you say it to others ,they are expectin you to be a grad by now .!

It also aches if you are single for looong and you just aging up ! ..here it hurts, and you might hate the number..I experienced that too, but that never stopped me from revealin my age !

Not livin the stage at the right time might make you feel you do not want to hold that number ! you may feel it doesnt belong to you ! you only hold "X" which you really felt that you lived.

But I can assure you that there will always be smth that annoys you about the number, even when you go through diff stages of life, coz we are always askin for more, as I think that by now I should hv had a 3 yrs old Kid .and have my family and sure married coz this is the rule.,and am not any of those..so it annoys me ! that am still out of phase ! I need to sync !...

However, I am sure there will be always smth you demand which is not there and will make you feel uncomfortable with the number.

Still, I can not hide the fact , that there are some ppl who annoy you about it...like : Q : how old are you ? ....A : x

Q : Oh god ?? no way....

a- you look older >>>>>>>>this is way Rude

b- oh no, you look younger >>>this is rare..could be true..but in so many cases, it is a compliment

c- You must be kiddin me ! You "X" and still go to same place ? and do same stuff ? and Your peer " and start mentioning names of ppl you know who are younger ,,and give you hard time by tellin you to where they got ".

"C " happens here all the time , it is like culture....They always hear the number and start relating to others and how loser you are !!! they just give you hard times.
And even for "C ' , I experienced it alott....

Another thing...that came out of culture too, that they usually call any female with "ya madame" which is " madame, Mme " but this is not for respectful , they give the title here for any girl gets married , she sleeps with modmoiselle title ,second day she wakes up to find herself holdin this title,"madame",,and it is more or less like Mrs. I would not like to mess with these titles until I become in phase.

So i dont luv bein called " Madame" while am not ! am still a girl !..and I hv no clue why they do call me so !! so the only explanation that goes for me is coz YOUR AGE.

that as if by the age of 30 ,you got to be married ! who said so !

There are some who canot differentiate btw modmoiselle and madame here ,,as the ushers or whoever gives you help on the road,,they just use madame word...but what is the excuse for educated ppl ! why do they sometimes call it to girls !!! ! though there is nothing sayin she is married yet !

I do not know why am annoyed about this specifc issue ! but I hv always been with it ! I wish if they sometimes stop call you anything..they do not hv to give you any title !!

Moreover, which makes it worse..when you accidentally chat with some teenager , a guy or girl of age 10+ " I am here givin excuses to 10 - " ,, so for those guys , and for so many times they look way old and taller too...anyways when you talk to them , they just say the word "Auntie " ,For me I just hate it , i luv ppl to call me with first name , we at my work place call each till top manag. with first names..its smth common ..

The guy or Gal speaking is only 10 yrz younger ! so you think i gained the title aunite !! it just kills me and makes me feel sick !! i am not auntieee..I by no means could be one !!! My only feeling then is just slappin him/her on the face.<>

I remember , tHat I have been always cautious about givin those auntie / uncle titles , that I ask my mom that if i should be callin him Uncle or her Auntie !as if me was aware of the feeling it leaves on the person who been called Uncle / Aunitie !!..especially it comes from ones you hv no clue why they are usin it ! I remember that once , a girl who is like 14 and maybe older .it happened in a situation like this : we were standing before a coffebar @ some coffee place, and I do not know the girl... , and I gave her help and handed her the coffeecup..and she with that naive look said : merci ya tante !! >>> oh godd,,,tante !! and she is drinkin coffee ! can you imagine ! she is not a kid !! ..so all I felt like was throwin the coffee in her face , but I sure did not.

That was like the answer " a " for me , that "You LOOK OLDD" coming from her side.

And if the opposite just happens, which i cant deny that it still happens alot , that i get stopped by ppl to ask me how exams went up ? how is skool ? and so ...and they just get shocked when I tell them I am done with school for more than 5 yrs now...I cant deny it feels good..Just the opp. to that last one.

Mainly, those were the reasons I see that could make one hates his age and not looking to reveal it, but the thing is by Not revealin it ? do you really think it has been hided ? not the number ? Dont you think its there on your face ? with all the lines that yrs left and still leave on you ??

Who cares afterall ! Am not so sure if men pass through this too or its only women's issues.

However , I am mad at those who mistakenly use the titles "Ms ,Mrs "..am mad at those nosey ppl who interfere in your life and just give you hard time about your age...Am mad at those teenagers who pretend to be POLITE and NAIVELY call me Auntie... Am mad at the media which made ppl think that you are 50 and still act the 20 's Roles ! I am mad coz I feel am sometimes out of phase !!! But , I am really okay with growin UP ! which I even I mentioned before in some older post ! Growin up is a bless in fact ..even if you speed up and you are as wise as 50 while you still 20 ! and still look 20 ;) ...

Yet I will always be revealing my age...and I will be proud of it..Always.

Free Meal -- Free Day , Off Diet what shall I do ?

Have you ever been on diet ? Have you ever heard of the so called the Free Meal ? do you hold it within your diet plan ?

We sometimes start the diet plan and we are plannin already of how that meal would be ..:DD and where it should be , with all itmes of yummmiii food !

And I am always like cravin for smth sweet , so my free meal always has a dessert , but this time am not able to :( coz I have to stick to the rule" No Sweets"...no cheese cake :( no twix : No chocolates :( Oh goddd !! this is saaaaaaaaaaaad :(

But if we get back to the free meal concept ! do you know it already ? do you have it filled with all kinds of food you fond of ??

I memorise that I once went for burger for that meal , and I already ordered the Burger meal which holds the name combo here > where u hv the sandwich , chips and coke ..but as I was cravin for that burger all week, i ordered in addition to the meal another solo burger sandwich..N i was like done and totally full with half of 1st sandwich, it always happens when you are on diet and turn to eat regular food ,junk especially , it is like its way heavy on your stomach and it is not that easily swallowed not easily digested...still your eyes , your brains , the smell which makes you feel you want to eat a dozen of sandwiches all of these just order you to go On..and On..and you just do that , you eat and eat ,,though you not really hungry , you nt really enjoying it anymore, coz you are already done , and stomach is full..you cant even breathe !

so you take the rest of meal or sandwich with you to home..that you continue after you get some rest , and the thing is You never get that rest , coz you caused your self more pain with fillin in your body to that extent and with that sudden change in Food type you get in , so it was like your body not used to that burger anymore ! which you lived your life on , you spent your whole week dreamin of it !! Not now,,cant get any help.......so you just say , Okay..lets wait for tomorrow, and I will just get done with the rest of this meal / sandwich and I follow with my diet again ..and the thing is, You jut lost it when you said so ! and you never back on diet..not very soon at least..

and actually this is the start of gaining weight again.

So, Even the free meal plan needs planning...

I sometimes, write down all items of foods , snacks that crossed my mind while I am on diet , which is like this is my fav day dreaming :)..I write them all ,that when the free meal arrives I just eat 'em all ! and what is sad which should be completely the opp. that when the free meal arrives..I dont hv the appetite to eat all of those stuff ! or i am even busy with other things ! or just as usual my stomach is filled with 2 spoons of rice ! and you just feel sorry for yourself that you cant get done with your plate..while in fact this is smth should make you feel happy about yourself, that your stomach is gettin narrower..and you dont hv to give it the same amount of food you used to !! Thats why I always Saw diets are for bodies and Brains too..

You gotta teach yourself to be on diet , not to torture yourself, non...on the contrary this is a better life style,, and this is how eatin should be..and your eatin style comes from your brain first before it reaches your belly...so if we are lookin for better health and better lifestyle we gotta adapt ourselves to the better food and be on diet.

back again to my comin Free Meal..mmmmmm, what do you think !! Huh :D,,would it Burger ? as i am one fond of burgers !!...or ? or What ??

Providing that it lasts for only one meal , preferable to be the lunch " not dinner"....Not to take rest of your meal TO GO...just let it GO in order to GO ON.

Yoga for life ..Yoga for Inner Calm and Peace Of Mind

Searchin for Inner calm and Peace of mind ? Then you need to schedule for the next comin Yoga class..and you will never miss it again. This is one thing I am keen to do and keep up to even if I have a busy schedule or I am even late at work...

Yoga is the relief you will be lookin for , Yoga will be the outlet for your negative energy , Yoga will help you stay in shape as it has so many stretching postures..Yoga will help your blood circulation..Yoga will help you to ficus your mind and get back yourself to face the very noisy crowded traffic..and the hectic life routine we are slaves to.

Yoga will help you to relax and and will help you in so many ways to get rid of your anger, yes by breathin as many would have already thought of it and other times by special postures...there is some posture as you lay down on the ground ,straight your body on the ground, and then with keepin your hands on the floor you rise up your body and stretch out in opposite direction to the gravity. ...you rise up as far as you can , and just few seconds to minutes you will feel it aches and can not stand it any more, this is when you start to count and maintaining' your breathing...as long as you can...you may see some lights ! this is what my teacher told me...maybe coz you might feel dizzy ! I dont really know..coz I never reached out that point...anyways, teh thing is this posture is like a relief to anger and all bad things in your mind and all the negative energy you hold..you may try it once with help on some guidance...you may try it to relief your anger before you get mad..and you may try it as soon as you got there to also get rid of it..it is quite true..


Well, Yoga has so many type and kinds..The one I practice is HAtha Yoga..which goes like breathing most of the time while doing postures..so many would think it is just a work out class ! yet it is not..and that's whats good about it....In work out classes I believe as I used to attend them and I still...we are mainly concerned with the muscles work out / rising' your heart beat...however your calss type..But with Yoga you focus your mind on breathing while doin those postures..so breathin comes first and then the work out...

One type of Yoga I heard about is called " Ashataga" but it is not so popular here...I read about it on the Internet and i guess it is more advanced..

One of the posture I dream I can do is Head stand ! the thing is i am always afraid ! i Donno why ! i like have this fear inside that i may kill myself with it :)!! break my neck ! my Back!! Outch !!! thats why i always panic when he says...head stand !..But shoulders stand are okay..

The good thing also about Yoga, that once you feel like doin it , you just need nothing to do it !! yea.. nothing..you can do it at Home..wherever..by a sea side would be great.
and if you are like U can not live without it anymore...You just can't go to bed before doing some poses...

One thing which is really important..that you should not think that Yoga itself will get you that inner peace ! non...it is an asset , a big one..but not the only thing....coz sometimes as soon as i am done with the class and I run to catch some fellows or go home I lose that energy throughout my way...either in traffic or letting someone gettin on your nerve...so it also needs an effort to maintain that positive energy you gain due the class...also recommended to be not on Alcohols , Drugs , You do not Smoke..and preferable to be a vegetarian..I am not my self a Veg . So no worries.

I am attaching here some link which could be useful for you to check out about Yoga..Hope you find it Useful.

http://www.santosha.com/asanas/asana.html
http://www.yogasite.com/postures.html


I Wish Happiness and Peace of mind , to myself and my people...This is how we always finish The Yoga class.
Be Happy

Euro 2008 ---- Rocks

I am sorry that I am missing most of the Euro2008 matches :(( You know coz of what ?? Coz of those stupid ppl who buy the broadcasting rights to themselves ,,and either we buy or don't see..this is really ridiculous you know..

So many are following it from coffeshops , homes where they got to pay or have the code to decode the channel and see it for free..last resort is to watch it online..so many sites are streaming the matches online,, but you have to suffer till it gets buffered ...and buffeting n buffering and more buffering ..and you miss the Goals and the fun of watching the match..

It really annoys me ! this is like some outlet for somany ! so why dont they just give it for free ! why do they hv to get benefit of everything !! I am afraid we get to the day when they sell us the air we breathe !!!..

Forza Azzuri..though they r nt doin any good so far still they are my number 1 :)

Holland is applying her Rules..Portugal is a competition...Euro 2008 Rocks

The Legendary Mounir....Ta3m el Beyout---

Another Hit for Mounir..Ta3m elbeyout, the new album for mounir which had been released few weeks back....it is amazing..for each song , its lyrics , the new remixes and compisitions ..the quality of music and afterall and before THE SOUND of mounir...oufff....he just got some talent sub7an allah..his voice is not just so clear , deap , so meaningful , so egyptian ...so good to be true ...he is one of a kind in that field..

Mounir , has been a phenomena and will always be...you gotta attend some of his concerts here at the cairo opera house and you will find out what am talkin about !! all those nubians comin from the most southern part of egypt to all over egypt..a crowd of more than 100 thousands as per last new years'eve concert ....a concert you not so sure if you can catch your breath in , but Mounir's sound will be surroundin you all over..by the crowd all repeatin his songs after him and actin and doin poses like his..it is hillariouos.

Ta3m el beyout is a one good album , you really cant chose between songs..they are all amazing...

i linked here his official page,and you will find it within my pages too.. it is worth a visit if you into him or have no clue whom am talkin about and need to see it yourself..you ll find there downloads , interviews, videos...and so many other interesting stuff.

Moreover, he is holding the summer concert next ,july on the 11 th @ cairo opera housa..

he will also be performin live on tv in el beit beitak show : next wednesday 18/6.

Enjoy it.

New Hang Out places ? any Idea?

One of the questions we shoot all the time ..any new hang out places !! upcomin events! moviez out in theatres ! good place to chill out ??

Well..that post will be specifically for that..
I will mainly post any new place I hit , my evaluation of it...
I will too if I hear of a new concert upcomin , ...etc
so keep on checkin this out..
and it would be useful if we share the knowledge ! :) If you have any idea..pls, let me know .

P.S : I added some new pages to my blogs list..it contains a buncha of blogs i visited and i think they are awesome , also official pages for some places where you can find an event / cultural event / hang out place /....it is about fun

I will keep on updating that part too, so keep an eye on it..

Addicted to my Blog .

Sounds weird ha !..well, i never thought that my blog will be that important thing in my life and in my routine, that I wake up and turn on my computer and first thing I do and even before checkin out my mail is goin to my blog ! though it is not that active and nearly none is readin it but 2 whom I already know....yet it is so important to me..have no idea why ! maybe coz it turned out to be my outlet ,where I can talk and express myself ! maybe...but though i never had that bunch of readers to it ! neither I think there will ever be :) as I hv no clue how they publish it ! ...elmohem that I love my blog..i check it out like 6 times aday if not more..i run to it even before my facebook ! believe that ! the facebook which is the so popular thing and that book which you spend hours on it checkin out events / ppl's news / and most likely you will be sneakin on others pix :) ..with all my respect to the " facebook " which i might be talkin about in a seperate post...yet , my blog comes first :)..yeah it comes in the mornings as 1st thing to do and comes as the latest before I go to bed ! and I even spent so many hours on it tryin to develop the page...i find it kinda interesting thing..and whats really more interesting is that within the notes of blogs you can visit a so amazing blogs..I really hd fun today surfin the blogs..so much info and fun too..

I never thought i would become ablogger,,i dont think I am one yet !
But I luv my Blog ...

Do You Hear your inner voices?? Do You let them OUT !!

Inner Voices.!!...Are you familiar with that ?? have you ever experienced a talk /conversation with 'em ? Do you usually " if ever " let them talk...or it is you only who supposed to do the TALK.......Do you let them OUT if ever ??..

Would You talk to them if you are around your working place ?? sitting in Ur desk and hence you start talking nobody but actually you are talking to yourself ..as so ppl call it..they might think you went insane to do so ...do you give it a S*** ? Do you really care ?..

Most of brilliant ideas came to me while I was in one of those conversations by the way..I know you might think and who the heck gave you right to judge that they were brilliant ! well i think they were so..n this is what counts for me in so many cases and i could see the impact on me so i could tell they were brilliant.

I am not talking actually bout that thinking when you sit by self and give your brains all spaces to think over smth without disturbance from anybody..that silent talk..not really..I mean the out loud talk..that you do to yourself, and sometimes it lasts for minutes I would not say for hours !..it takes minutes till you figure out you are afraid that you lost your mind :) or get awakened by someone calling you crazy! wake up !...you don't hv to be day dreaming to do so..non

We can go far by this, that you imagine that inner voice is some dragon lyin inside you..and he is just looking 4 stuff other than what everybody goes for....you are honest and he just hates your honesty when it comes to ppl making tricks or playing with you...you re naive enough to let them do, and he//they just hate that about you...a movie just hit me now..its one of my favorites if not the most fav.,its fight club..and yeah its about that too...tyler durden ...1st Rule about fight club is ? You do not talk about fight club !..Oh,, I luv this movie.....do you recall that one??

kind of same idea i am talking about...i know you could be not familiar with it ! nor in love with the idea ! and you might call it sanity ! i donno..but i feel it and see it true.

that you sometimes feel like doing smth but just everything around you implied on you just to do the opposite, or your community and family put you in some frame that you can't change! so you have you inner voices substitute for it..it is complicated i know..and i cant deny it would be risky /dangerous sometimes if you let it go beyond control..or in away that let ME think you went insane...it is cool to hv your inner voices awake just like consciousness but never let them take the upper hand..it could destroy you, and i hv seen examples in real life suffering from it just coz they let them having control of everything.
Beware of your inner voices then, be Friends with them, meaning you don't hv to suppress yourself to be just like an iceberg which is showing only a good snowy top while deep in , under the surface a hell of trouble far distance..

Body Watcher --- way to Lose weight---- part I -

So , Tired of the so many diet plans you hear every day ! and none is getting any positive result on you ! here I got you a new one.." actually i hv a buncha of those "..i spent like ma half age on diet..i am one of the yo-yo type,,,i lose weight and gain it back and i lose it again ....and so on..

anywayz i got you a new one..it sounds promising though..actually i dint hv time to transalte it so it is mainly in arabic now " actually i suffered to write it in arabic too :..but if you really interested you can msg me and i do the translation..i left it in arabic coz mainly i am not so sure if any will be followin it but myself :)...but i thought of encouragin myself by postin it out here..and instead of followin up on some external paper..i ll guess i ll do this here , on the internet ...i ll start it over today, 11/6 and it should last for whole 7 days..and see how many kgs i lose then !..

Note: you hv to follow the diet plan as written..have to eat whatever is mentioned there as long as you are choosing this option...especially the vegetables part as snacks..its a must

* no replacement between items or meals..you hv to follow it as is...and no equivelent to anything..just as is..

* need to walk at least " min " 45 minutes a day...it is a must

* drink water as much as you can... min 3 liters aday

* only 2 cups of tea - 1 coffee with a sip of skimmed milk allowed - 1 coke diet / a day

* The diet plan is applied for whole week ...you have the ability to chose btw the options mentioned below.

below the diet plan...follow it ;) ....and lets see the result coming wednesday :)

الإفطار
٣ معلقة جبن أبيض ثلاجة

أو١ بيض مسلوء + ١ طماطم + ١/٢ خس + ١/٤ بلدي

٢-٣ ساعة
١ خيار صغير + ١/٢ جرجيير

أو نص خس + ١ فالفل رومي + ١ زبدي لايت

غداء١/٤ فرخة--صدر فرخة لازم --معرفش ليه !
أو ١ قطع لحمه
أو ١/٤ سمك وأر
أو ١ تونة
أو ١ بيضة مسلؤة + خضار مسلوء

٢-٣ ساعة ١ خيار صغير + ١/٢ جرجير / أو نص خس + ١ فالفل رومي صغير

عشاء

١ فاكهة " تفاح أو برتقال " + ١ زبدي لايت
أو ١ فنجان سلاد + ١/٢ تونة صغيرأو ١/٢ صدر فرخة + أي شربة خضار

Bon Appetit :)

Should you know all about me???

I was hit by this question today..coming from the well known author : Paulo Coelho .on his page via facebook.
He usually posts some questions and spread them out to all his readers..and this one was for today's..and as I am a big fan of Paulo and as I always love reading his books or posts...that question stopped me ?! not only coz he is asking and we should respond to it ! nah...but as always his writings do to us,,inspire us..and hit you at some point....

Should you know all about me ??...

before responding to his question I had a look over his page again..and I stopped so many times at : some people have been horrified with my past !! ...and I let myself thinking of it way deeply....and my thoughts didn't go far from the responses he got on his page..some are okay with revealing it ,but with someone you trust,,others see it a personal stuff..and mysteries should remain mysteries and secrets to where they belong...etc.

But still Question remains..should you ?? should I know all too ??
Good question, ha ?? thanks to Mr Coelho ...
Think of it deep enough and maybe you respond to Coelho and might tell us what you said..

Sun...Sand and Sea are badly required....

Day dreamin ,huh ?! yeaaaa....while I am havin loads of work and so many over due tasks and deadlines ,I can not do anything but dream of those 3 , Sun- Sand and Sea.....oh yeaaaa..especially its gettin way hot up here in the city...I need to travel..and i need it badly :(

you know in meditation classes, they ask you to close your eyes and imagine yourself sittin in a wide green field / or before a blue sea ...it should be any wide place where you can sit,, and see clearly no limitations in spaces...endless field / sea/ sky,,eveything is borderless" in your imagination "..and ...enjoy the scene..and as soon as you do that with breathin in and out .for like a couple of minutes could be extended to 5 .as soon as you start to feel good...try it and you will see ! thats why whenever you are by a sea you need to do this ,but not with closed eyes !!! you do it with wide open eyes to enjoy it ......

Observe it well..and you will see the reflection of it on your soul.

anywayz i am still in a bad need for those 3 :(( wish if i can pack now and get myself out of here ,,leavin everything behind.and just Go.

Imagine myself sleepin on a hammock for instance :)) oh yeaaaa..with a bird singin somewhere not close enough to disturb you while having that nap nor that far that yu dont hear it...yeaa,,the nice breeeze,the sound of the cool wind are just tempering and coolin down the cool heat of the sun..that mixture of a sunny day with cool wind....

you can have abook to read..which would be great in that weather...you do the read while enjoyin the scene,you some times pause and stop readin to get your eyes away from the book to find how beautiful the sea and sky are !..you look at those birds singin above...flyin in chains just amazinggg........,you may listen to some music too..prefer it to be kind of meditation / lounge music.......Then , you go for a swim and get back to lay down in the sun....

you have nothin to worry about...you have everything, your book , your music , your snack as well...just perfect..oh yea just a perfect weekend..poor me , i need to travel nowwwwww :(

I uploaded here above a picture of Bora Bora island..a place i wish to visit someday.

I wish .

I hope I have helped a bit in rising up your mood and mine as well :) and now , lets get back to work :( .......

Am I Growin UP ???????

Am I ??? sure we all do..thats nt the question really..However , we all grow in age but do we in mind ? mentality ? way we consider things ? way we judge ?...etc...

Do we grow up in the sense which strikes me when i am sayin it out now , are we turning out to be the mom-dad model you always " hated / disliked / never wanted to be" at sometime !!! do we!!

when i apply it to myself i find myself amazed ,shocked n maybe in denial ! yea i am..
u know why ! coz i hv always thought that we hv a huge gap btw our generation n theirs ! though they were nt that narrow minded ! nor those of followin some religious / political / watsoever...so they were mostlikely like every egyptian family..which was ruled by traditions and customs....though themselves were against same rules they are tryin to apply on us now! when they were back at our age !! Hey...those used to wear sharlestone pants and mini skirts and do the hell 50's 60's fashion styles !! this is life i know..but wat shocks me really that i never thought of changin my mind bout specifc things n here i find myself totally followin the opposite !!

let me explain it..i always thought i am open minded,,i never judge anyone by his looks or watever,,,wat counts for me is the way he /she deals with me..n thats it..other than that ..its non of my business..i still follow this..but let me continue,,,moreover,, i never criticised anyone ! " as much as i can bardo :) bs mostly i dont ...i always follow khaleek fe 7alak we fe nafsak we maksh da3wa "..anywayz....i also never say those are exceedin the limits ...i never go against the clean fun mainly..which could be out of music / clean parties /........
i was mainly lookin 4 places where the crowd head to..i was enjoyin more a place full of teenagers than of old ppl..
anyways..lately i found out..that imnot into teenagers places as i usd 2 say !! bel3aks i avoid bein around their places now ! they cause me headache ! they do with their loud voices and their looks..the way they show off ..its just nt my place anymore...seems like i was afraid to say it out that ppl think im old ! imnt old am still 28 !..but i hv t0 face it am not the teenager anymore !! yet i am not that old ! i still enjoy the crowded places but it cant be my always hang out !!..i need a place where i can sit ,, hv a talk to afriend n i can make listening too !! i need to enjoy the coffee maybe with a book to read !! which is hardly you can find here in cairo with all the places full of teens doin nthin but swearin at each ! u see i started to judge :)..i dont mean it really ..but thats what i meant when i started my talk , that we grow up..n change in mind without we even noticing this change !! n u sometimes when you come to face it ,,you may get afraid of bein an odd ! or maybe you r bein OLD ! i dont care if you teens will call me old..im sure im old for you ..and i amnot sad anymore when i sit next to old ppl ! at least i can listen to some good decent talk ...which is usually 3n 7al el balad ! wars ! politics !..which i find myself very amusing...

it doesnt mean i dont enjoy the music / moviez / social talk..i sure do ,,but it is not my 1st thing anymore..or maybe its like a talk u do once a week n then u hv other things in life you can do !

i cant be spendin a whole 3-4 hrs aday in order to get dressed up and go sit / stand infront of coffee bean ! this is ridiculous ! am done with this stage...yeah am done ! i sure am..

you know , i recalled now myself 15 yrz back when was the most thing you can do is dressin up and go to club !! why would ppl dress up n go to club " this is how i see it now "!!!!!! i wear on my sports wear n thats it..otherwise it could be any simple thing ! cause im goin to club !! its nt a night spot !!!..so when you think of it now you may laugh,,but time back then that was our hang out so we hd no options :)

Same thing when you go for any summer place //northern coast for instance//marina as all head to //..and you now might be lookin 4 some deserted place..you hardly find one,,but its like you WISH you find someplace not that noisy ,full of teens !..u need a place where you can sit ,swim n relax...which is smth u hardly can get there unless you go for any other place on the coast than marina..
You see,, you grow up in terms you dont stop at in so manytimes but when you think of it you ll know that u do ! or may be u know already and you cool with it ..but what if you not cool with it ! meaning u always knew you hate quiet places..coz ur parents for instanc were always lookin for quiet ones..so u know u hate quietness..and you grow up and you find yourself enjoyin more the quiet places yet your brains are givin u the signal ! nah..u cant be like them ! you cant turn out to be your parents ! a copycat of them ! the 2 you most had arguments n fights with in whole life! u just cant turn out to be just like them !!

can you hear voices like that ?!? maybe itsnt quite clear in the quietness example...but if u look around ,, maybe you find it then clear...maybe its nt there in yur life ! maybe...

and afterall, i didnt mean that you be in struggle with your inner voices and your real life as much as i needed to clarify the growin up issue ....

its all about growin up...we sometimes are afraid to take it,,coz we yea as like old actors//actresses do by the end of day we dont want 2 grow in age ! we wish if we stay in 20's max early 30's..but goin thrugh 40's....its scary i know..at least for now,,,but akeed time we get there we ll know we just scared about nothin..its all numbers :)..and i hv always the best thing is to enjoy its stage with wat it takes...enjoy your skool yrz.your graduation..your new job..your new love..your new commitement..your marriage...your havin a new baby born...your kids r growin ...your kids are graduatin...your kid comes over n tells you Pa ana hatgawez :)) so you kick his ass and hug him and you not so sure if u happy that he is or u afraid that u r gettin more old n u might be havin grand children,,,,,,etc....life is full of stages actually..and the worst thing when you get stuck in one phase and cant proceeed...you cant spend your whole life goin to skool for instance ! but you need to enjoy each phase and dont miss it or let it passby ! coz you will later regret it !!!.you get what i mean i guess !

n this is growin up too..to grow through diff stages n know how to enjoy each and hv fun out of it ! this is growinn up...u know we used to hv a mail fwded like those of mail chains we get all the time, it was about growin up..and it hd many ideas about enjoyin the silent quiet places..and so many things which can tell that you r growin....

I grow up..i am afraid i turn out to be someone i never wanted to be..cant hide it,,i hd to admit it,,, i always thought that i hv a so open mind, n today i found out i criticized some ppl ,for something i used to think is fun !! am nt happy about it !! not happy about criticizin them maybe ! about me not in luv with wat they do maybe ! that im growin up !maybe! that i dont enjoy what they do maybe ! coz i want 2 do it again >>>?? i doubt it !! i amnt there anymore !!,coz they see me as an outsider now !! i doubt it ! coz i dont really care !!, i dont enjoy everything ppl do..and i dont care ....not anymore !!....wat counts wat i believe in now...it might be different in an hr ! it might get changed tomorrow !! it might turn out to be like parents take it ! whatsoever..I DO NOT CARE..this is me....and this is how i think of it now..

and i dont like what they do..and amnt afraid that i will be so called old-fashoioned! amnt afraid i wll be demodee ! ! ! screw 'em if they cant take a joke :))
anyways..i think i needed to state it and say it out loud.
I am growin up , cant deny it sometimes it scares me off !! yea it does..but as we agreed on previously..Enjoy it..learn how to luv your life and enjoy it..n live it sa7...you dont hv to be a copycat of one !! you dont hv to khalesss...actually plz try to stop it ! livin anothers life ! coz you ll wake up someday findin out you not him and you hd been fooled !! actually its you who fooled yourself not anybody else !!...just try to be YOU..be yourself..the most common sayin we do say ..be yourself...it reminds me whenever there r 2 in a new relationship,,the most common thing ppl say to each of them..just be yourself...

anywayz..its gettin dark,,n need to sleep now..in order to grow up"as per docotrs saying :)) kollo fe sa3at el noum beta3et beleil...le ra7a aktar pampers":))

Grow up..but beware....do it sa7 .

P.S I Love YoU

I hate it when you deal like this !
I hate it when you turn me down like this...
i hate it when you dont feel it though u sure of it !

i hate it when you ignore it though u know how pure ,strong and deep it is.
i hate it when my love is the cause of my hurt...
i hate when i feel am weak just cause i love you

i hate it when you play the 15 yrs old guy .. and nt taking any responsibility upon ur shoulders
i hate it when you take me for granted
i said it over n over
n for always i will
Do not take me for granted..

you have to give in order to take..you hv to listen inorder to talk

i am afraid i regret it one day...my luv to you
i am afraid you just become some other one i never met or loved
i am afraid that you go on this way and i just quit this game

i can not always be like this and you cant always be like that..

i cant be understanding
not anymore

i am mad
yes i am..

For the way you Do and way you Do not.

For all the luv we had..for all the dreams we shared...for all the fun n laughter we once had
for all the moments i will always live to cherish..i ask you to be there for me as long as I need you...Be the one I loved..be YOU...who you really are...coz i hve always loved you for who you are...you are so good...too good to be true you know...but you in so many times just put that good one aside and let the evil part play around..you just dont hv to show him to me...coz i am not in luv with him !!!..it just scares me and it gets the worst out of of me....

I luv you
You know i do
you know i will always do.
But i cant take the evil irresponsible part...please take this one back and send me my beloved !

I need him..i need him to assure me that everything will be alright
i need him to tell me not to worry
i need him to remind me how much he loves me
i need him to pay all that effort to gain my heart
i need him to sing me as he used to do for long
i need him to txt me just before he goes to bed
i need him to be there for me even before i ask him that
i need him to build our home n i dont mind it with a pet
i need him to share all the love i always had.
i need him to care about me as much as i do even when we are apart
i need him to dream of havin kids from me as i always thought of that
i need him to understand if um down and to please me if i am ever sad.

i need him to be there for me always..
and i promise you the same..

You just need to understand me and then ...i will never complain.

I love you...I will always do
but i can not do unless you too.

P.S : I love you
no need to read btw the lines..who needs to write there anyway !

a House Wife vs. a Business Woman

Have you ever thought of it ?? whatever your gender is ! male or female !! ..the question actually goes for both....and applied in all cases...

lets start with males and give all options and see how Men can find this..
bein in a relationship with a business woman ?? i amnt really lookin 4 "meraty modeer 3am "type...im just statin all possibilities takin into consideration that the woman could be in a higher post than her man...and i think that the eastern guyz mainly dont get along with bein in a lower profile job than their wives!...anyway thats nt the case im talkin about..
i am talkin about mainly " women"...your mom, sis, friend,wife..whatever role she plays in ur life...how do you see her from a man's point of view ?? some agree on puttin her in the frame of bein a mom..and only there for cooking, house stuff..n whatsoever related to family..i.e.a housewife
others see her, a doctor, a teacher, .....not a dancer plz :) kiddin,elmohem she could be doina good decent job n still havin her home life...but then i think in my point of view she ll never be as givin as the housewife..sure thing...but it ll be like 50 50..50 for her job n 50 for her house..and in so many times there will be times when she s in trouble coz either she needs to be around her family n kids or doin jobs to get promoted..

As a man whom do you prefer to be with ? and do you get the consequences of your choice ??..for choosin the housewife type you sure know what it takes..and hv to deal with it,coz ur wife ll be bored stayin at home all day n night..doin home stuff n takin care of the kids..even if she has activities n go out,,yet she ll still be bored enuff..especially if you hv to come home late ..and some times 8ish is late enuff for her,coz you finish the earliest at 5..traffic takes you min 2 hrs..so you bardo wont be home before 8 ! n she is up ya me3allem from the very morning..doing breakfast..cookin,,cleain,washin,,all what it takes..and hv nothin else to do but waitin foryou..n u come home tired n not in the mood to talk !..u might be understandin once ! twice ! but will you for the entire life !!..
however if shes havin a job...you hv to eat what ever she puts for you :) she doesnt hv time for cookin good hot meals on a daily basis ! she sometimes not home before 7ish and maybe she stays for late too !! she might be travellin too !! you might not be seein her due the weekend ! she might miss some of the family events as much as you do !! the kids will be livin in 1st early ages at grandpa / grandma..though both cant be handlin babies anymore ! they just cant sit em !!..or you might risk it and hand you 1yr baby to a nursery ! which is totally 7aram !!..and im only talkin here about SHE doin only a decent job..she s nt a business woman yet !! what if she is kaman !! what if she wants to be one !! how can a man handle this ? hw about her family n kids ??
back to SHE in a decent job...some times the job doesnt pay off still she keeps on doin it , maybe coz she needs the money..she needs the job for her spirit..lookin to get promoted so she lives on hopes...so the job here could be rewarding and could be not...yet she holds on to it.

I dont want to take you far with this..but as i started my talk with ,, that was for the man case..how about SHE...how she sees it ?? hv u thought of it ? n did u take it into consideratin too ; what shee neeeds !

As a woman i can tell, it differs from one to another...some really like it at home..others do for only goin to club / hang outs/ shopping//a buncha in a real need for it !! they can not just resign..they cant afford it...also, some or maybe few workin for the career thing.

n each is havin its pros n cons..maybe theoritically u can say you can balance...i can hv my job n yet my home life...and as we said there is always a 50 loss in this equantion..at least for 1st 5-6 yrs of the baby age...maybe later on its okay..but its awful if u miss your baby growin up !

hmmm,,its a tough choice....really is.Clueless Huh !!
but which one would you go for ??
Shoot.