I woke up on a dream , That I couldn't quite get or clarify ! I wanted to focus on the signs sent out through it ! and I couldn't yet !
It was full of names , faces and places ! I don't identify any rightnow, but at minute of rising up , that one second when you can tell if you only can chase another second to go on that dream again ! if I only can go back to sleep !
But I couldn't go back to that dream ! nor Do I recall it right now ! only the effect of it remains !
Overwhelmed , over tensed ! crying ,fighting for the silliest reason ! looking for something I don't really know ! or I might do but I prefer to pretend that I don't !
memories are all over the place ! in my brains , in my writings ,in my phone , in my eyes, in my hands ... .it is all related in a way or another !!! still , I resent and I regret . and above all I miss.
Due all of those negative and positive feelings I am sure of few things I miss, they might sound naiive or non important for others , but for me they are quite Big and essential too. that they make me stop working,and stop living at somepoint if I don't have them ! I wana live those moments back again, I wish if I have that remote control ,of the movie Click.n I just click the rewind botton and go back change and Undo whatever I disliked, and Paused on the ones I ever loved and I might choose to live in those ones for good ! I would go back for each situation I liked and every good momery I live on.I would go back to the people I ever loved and enjoyed having them in my life and would keep them there and never let go of them. I wold too go and remove those ones who ever hurt me or caused me a bad feeling / memory that makes me feel now.
I would stay in my early 20's for a while , I always loved being there ..with the teen /growup in between spirit , travelling all year , and doing watever I liked and found doable ! I miss that alot !
I would go back and hug every and each one I now know they are here for me , I would kiss those moments I knew how hard it was for them to be so , I would kiss all the trouble away . I would have done all what it takes to keep Time as it was back then.
But As I already know, that is only in my dreams , and in my dreams I can do so :)
so I am still affected by last night dream , and that one of two nights before, when I had a glimpse of all that coming true.and woke up on the fact they are in vain.
only left for me are the memories I live on.