Thursday, July 14, 2011

Fragile Thoughts

Breakups always find away to get on to me .

I get overwhelmed ! I cry ! I get depressed even if it is someone I barely know broke up with someone I don't "never " knew !

Just the Breakup IDEA freaks me out . feel pitty for the girl /woman whoever ! and whatever !

yes, I always sympathise the woman part regardless of the reason / why did they broke up for !

I only care that two are now apart , and the woman is all devastated , even if she didn't complain about it ! even if she's doing well in hiding it ! even though !

I am all with women ! I admit.

coz all I have seen along my life proved that woman is always the victim and man has been always the muderer.for sure there had been some exceptions , but I repeat EXCEPTIONS where men were the victims , and even that I didn't totally believe !

That one I don't know , who bumped into me yesterday , and later I got to know that she broke up with hew husband-tobe , actually they were mid way there ! as they were officially married , only the wedding was left , that is what we do in Egypt and call it KATB KETAB phase .

so she not only broke up with a guy , a friend , a fiance , no a HUSBAND ! Whom she had dreams to be wedded to . to share a life with !

I bet that was HARSH Man !!

I couldn't sleep since I have known of the news ! I was sad ! and I wished I never knew . maybe she is stronger than me , and could handle it !

I pray she is ! I am sure what drives a wife to get divorced is something major that she knows for sure she can't live with ! and also , I am sure he didn't well play his role ! coz all women can be easily " yede7ek 3alaihom " can let go of the pain if you give'em comfort and make it ease on them ! we can overcome men 's mistakes , we can try to forgive and forget , we only need to see you paying for it , and playing hard to get .

So , if that woman went for divorce , and it is not a process that can be done over day and night ! it takes days and weeks and sometimes months or years ! so I am sure that , he could have done everything to make her forgive / forget whatever he did ! unless he too wanted to get rid of this marriage !

My brains nor my nerves can get a Breakup nor handle it . I used to believe in fairytales , I am the one in love with teens movies and "only you " serendipity type .

I always seek happy endings in movies , and I hate them if they come out without one !

I believe love shall survive and lon live.

I believe lovers shall always fight for their love and not easily let go .

I even can't get if two in love , why don't they get married whatever what ! they should do it !

live in a hut ! eat whatsoever ! they should get married we khalas !! against all odds!

back to katb ketab phase, that makes me wonder if getting married officially , before wedding date , is it preferable or not ? for me, myself I find the best thing to do ! However in some cases it ends up in sucha way , with a divorce = breakup . and a divorce is not easily dealt with ! especially here in our Eastern societies.

But , the right is right. and the katb ketab is the righteous thing to do , early in engagement ..that is 7alal .

what should be done should be done , and the Katb ketab what should be done.

and no matter it is difficult in its break up , it is still teh right thing to do, and if you please God , for sure God will make it reflect on you and ppl around you .

That got me drifted away , with katb Ketab issue and Breakup one.

I still feel I am filled with Fragile thoughts ! alot .

to be continued.


Crystal Lobna said...

Quick question why do you say that Katb ktab is the religious way to go? An engagement is something that exists in our religion and is totally fine. Why do you have to be labeled a divorcee without any need for it?

batates_777 said...

Hello Crystal Lobna ,

Well, I totally agree with you , but if the two are in love , that engagement won't be fully 7ALAL, unless they can entirely control themselves, and never do a mistake ! you know that being together alone, even along a drive , whatever ! is 7aram ! n they shouldnt be left alone !
so who can handle this !
that's why katb ketab is for mainly! and it is samething as in nomral engamenet but it would be only halal, and then would be okay to express love and passion.
I too hate that label, but arn't we who label ppl ! i think if our community gets rid of those labels, it would be fine for someone to get divorced without the fear of bein labeled for her entire life !

Crystal Lobna said...

I get your point, and understand the Dilemma , I guess most people would rather to the forbidden and ask God for forgiveness then actually risking the fact that they could be called divorcee.
unfortunately we can't change the society we live in ( at least not fast enough). Personally I wouldn't know what to do.

batates_777 said...

I always think " la yasse7 2ella elsa7ee7 "
so doing the wrong, n thinking that it would be easily forgiven n forgotten,may end up in a wrong way ..with not forgiven nor forgotten, n may ALLAH not bless it kaman ! so I personally don't see it this way , even if I am not that conservative ! at all !
yet I always see the katb ketab is the best thing to do , after getting to know phase .coz it will make it halal .and I think elmohem that we obey to god's orders than ourselves and society's traditions.
it is hard to do I know,I wish we someday can change that thing in our society as well, the divocred woman dilemma.
personally I know a couple of ppl , who continued their lives smoothly and normally after that kind of break up ! I know its nasyeeb after all :)