Sunday, October 6, 2013

What went wrong !

I ask myself over and over again ! What could have gone wrong! What is that big thing we are really fighting on or even for ! What is that reason we are drifting apart!
Why you are not accepting me as much as you're blaming me of not accepting you!
The who you are,one you were and one you become to, I should respect all forms of you and I should accept them all. Without argument. And when it comes to me, I shouldnt be in fact disccussing anything related to me as long as it pisses you off! Shouldnot be talking myself out! I Should be accepting am blocked! Least priority in your life and your worst friend! I should be all that and I still be accepting how you see me and dealing with it normally. Alright. I accept. I did and tried to deal with it! Yet it didn't drive us anywhere but worse! coz you couldnt accept me in return! You couldnt accept my fears! My demands! My needs! You couldnt get how insane this is driving me! how stressed out I am ! I ran a test we had over stress thing and my result was scary in fact! that the facilitator seriously advised me that I should solve it out not only deal with it! you kknow it is getting to me physically now ! with this allregy that coming out of stress! know you not really following and not will really do ! coz you not used to ! and I should accept it this way ! I should hang on to ALL responsibilities without complaint! I should deal with it! I am not a superwoman! I am not not ! I am weak ! very weak indeed! that I can break down in any second! not a drama queen. Just fyi. Stating a fact. And above all you couldn't get how much I love you and how much I need you ! And how much I really want us to be as close and good as we always dreamed for! Sharing life! life partners ! holding responsibilities together! caring for each AS MuCH! giving both room and space as having special and priavte time together! You always got my discussions wrong! Interpreted my fears and questions wrongly! And again drifted me away!made us quite apart! That it became so hard to find an intermediate point to meet at ! Though I still recall and still think we have so much in common ! We surely have differences! Yet we could deal with it! I love you and have always wanted to grow old with you! I love you. And I still wish you love me too. As I sometimes question if you still do.

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